Okay, I just put down my glass of whiskey to type this, anon. You say if I stop jackin', I'll get this woman I've known for a few years but never really established a friendship with but everytime we talk my knees bends like spaghetti and I realise how much wife-material she really is. My mind and feelings get home-run'd to cloud nine when I talk to her.
So anon, op, friend. You say this is it, this minor thing I do in my little spare time, is the key to being with her. Then I'm game.