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YSK Your kid wanting to explain their side is not talking back by EquanimousBluu in YouShouldKnow

[–]Japjer 385 points386 points  (0 children)

This goes double for kids.

I see a lot of parents ignore or brush off those little, trivial things kids want to talk about. Well, dip shit, to a child they are neither little nor trivial. If you ignore that you can be damn well sure they won't tell you things later.

Do you know how much Roblox and Minecraft drama I discuss with my kid? Way too damn much. But I accept that, to a ten year old, that's really the big stuff he has to worry about. To him it's real shit that he needs to talk about, so I talk to him about it

Edit: I appreciate the gilded gesture, but don't give Reddit money because you liked what I said

YSK Your kid wanting to explain their side is not talking back by EquanimousBluu in YouShouldKnow

[–]AmbiguousPause 36 points37 points  (0 children)

My father and my father in law are both like this. It's exhausting and childish.

Don't expect him to change. Change your expectations of him to lower your disappointment.

Your frustration will get better once you're an adult. Like, living independently, paying 100% of your own bills. Adult like I-owe-you-nothing adult.

For me and my husband, our dads haven't changed much in their ranting, non-listening "communication" style. They were assholes when we were kids. They're still assholes 30 years later.

The 2 petty blowhards won't change, so they're less and less relevant in our lives. Doesn't hurt us. Only hurts them.

Note - some children never grow past this, regardless of age. My parents financially bail out my younger brother all the time. That means he still has to listen to their bullshit. If my parents are insufferable to me or my older brother though? Nah, fam. We're independent adults in our mid and late 30s. It's like... well, okay, 60 something year old parents. Throw your big, senior citizen tantrum. That's an interesting choice you made. Have fun not talking to us for the next 6 months.

My dad is starting to slowly make some changes, which is wonderful, but father in law is honestly getting even worse with age. When F-i-L gets backed into a corner, where it's clear he is factually wrong? Dude just moves the goal posts to start a new argument.

Look, you already see how immature your dad is. It sucks to make peace with that, but people who act that way need to work on themselves. If your dad is going to grow and improve as a person, that desire has to come from within. There's nothing you can do other than feel sorry for him and limit the affects of his negativity in your life.

Fuck 'em. You'll be in college soon enough. Then one day, you'll be financially independent. At that point it's on him to earn your respect.

It hurts to give up on someone you love. All the love in the world won't change his toxicity though. When you have the resources it's worth seeing a therapist for 2-4 sessions to talk it through and seek peace within yourself.

YSK that if you want to take someone, perhaps an older relative, to a fancy restaurant as a treat and they resist, instead wanting to go somewhere more casual, it might be because it’s out of their comfort zone and you should listen to them. by zerzura-6-ft-away in YouShouldKnow

[–]CurlSagan 782 points783 points & 3 more (0 children)

Yeah, good advice. This is also why a lot of old people are happy with cheapo buffets. You don't have anyone waiting on you. You get to look at the food you eat before you put it on your plate. You don't deal with doggy bags. You can eat as much as you want. There's no bill to deal with at the end because you pre-pay. You probably don't even have to worry about a tip. There's no server making you feel weird if you want to continue sitting and chatting after your meal, as if you're taking up a valuable table. Buffets are rad.

Buffets get a lot of flak, but they're fucking awesome. You can try 50 different foods rather than be stuck with one lackluster dish you ordered from a vague text description on a menu. Old people with dentures and medications and sensitive stomachs who worry about the textures of food can pick and choose what they want, or just eat 5 bowls of pudding and shitty black cafeteria coffee that reminds them of the Korean War.

Yeah, the food isn't as fresh or tasty as a real restaurant, but you can be a picky eater at a buffet and not annoy anyone. You can go through and look at all the food before you put a single bite on your plate. It's like a shopping mall for food and you can window shop.

At a trendy restaurant, you're self-conscious about all the other patrons and the busy uniformed staff. At a buffet, you don't need to work up the courage to ask the server for a refill on your diet coke, but also ask if refills cost extra, thus making you feel like you're cheap. You're sitting there thinking, "Am I being a Karen if I wave the server over and ask how long our food will take? We've been here for 40 minutes." How many times in a restaurant have you thought that you would rather actually get up and get your own drink refill than have to bother a server across the room? Mark my words, buffets are going to make a huge comeback when socially-conscious zoomers start eating out as polite adults. Invest in buffet chains now to catch the trend before it explodes.

At a buffet, you're surrounded by ugly people. This is the place for sweat pants and greasy hair. You can relax and be yourself around this fine assortment of ugly buffet patrons. You don't need to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of the 500 pound dude in the corner who just annihilated 5 plates of fried shrimp like a goddamn conqueror. If you slop soup on your shirt at a buffet, nobody is going to even notice. Your splash of soup won't even rank in the top 20 list of shirt stains at that particular buffet. That Shrimp Lord in the corner is literally wearing a shrimp in his beard. At a buffet, nobody cares if you want to drink 5 cups of suicide mix at the soda fountain while eating nothing but bowls of the white gravy from the "biscuits and gravy" kiosk, which comes complete with 12 different kinds of B&G fixins like bacon bits or squeaky cheese curds that you can dump on your gravy and pretend it's poutine.

A buffet is like the open-world sandbox game version of a restaurant. It's totally modable, although bug-prone, and it's single-player even though it doesn't feel like it. A buffet is a Bethesda game like Skyrim, while other restaurants are a shitty mobile game full of IAPs and ads.

We should celebrate buffets and celebrate a design of restaurant that douses your self-consciousness in copious volumes of ranch dressing and the conspiciously-untouched steamer tray of creamed corn.

The best buffet I ever went to was in rural Georgia and it wasn't a chain. It was a crappy-looking house converted into a restaurant, where the parking lot was dirt and there was absolutely no air conditioning. My little cousins and I were eating in what once was someone's bedroom. I was like 10 years old and it was 110 degrees and I had hornet stings all over my leg from the day before. This place had fried okra with some kind of spicy, creamy dip. I emptied out that steamer tray of okra onto my plate through seconds, thirds, and fourth helpings. I was told it was the most okra and fried green tomatoes they had ever seen anyone eat at one meal. My shitty little body was like 25% fried okra by weight. This place also had three kinds of fried chicken, just continuously coming out right from the fryer like an assembly line.

I live all the way on the other side of the goddamn country and I still think about that buffet from 3 decades ago. Buffets are awesome.

YSK: Service Dog etiquette is to leave them alone as to not distract the dog's focus. So if they come to you for attention, immediately locate their owner as they could be using a last ditch effort to get help. by KissAndControlx in YouShouldKnow

[–]cheftlp1221 200 points201 points  (0 children)

I operate a small cafe inside an apartment building, one of the residents has a service dog. When she is working and in her harness she is all business and by his side and barely acknowledges me. When she is out of the harness and not working she is a regular pupper pulling on her leash trying to get to the treats she knows I keep behind the counter. My girlfriend likes to joke that I ruined a highly trained service dog. https://i.imgur.com/f3cHSxx.jpg. Unfortunately she passed (12 years old, cancer) RIP Sprinkles you were a very good gurl.

YSK a greeting, smile, or little wave can mean a lot to a child. by HerrelZaneth in YouShouldKnow

[–]deranged_rover 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is a flip side to this: there are people who smile at children because they are predators. Additionally, children are going to need to learn that they cannot command attention from others at their will and they're just another person. It's a sad awakening, but in order to become an acceptable human in society, we have to learn we're not special and are owed absolutely nothing. This is the issue with people today... too many Karen's demanding their child be given extra special treatment. The kid grows up and wonders why people are ignoring them and gets a complex because they were not prepared by their parents for the real world.

YSK a greeting, smile, or little wave can mean a lot to a child. by HerrelZaneth in YouShouldKnow

[–]NoOneListensStar67 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Disagree. Hard. Children are learning social interactions and one of those is not randomly approaching strangers and talking to them. Yes, a smile or wave is very nice but that isn't a very accurate picture of reality.

YSK: If you are buying a used car, test drive it to the nearest auto-parts store to have it scanned for check engine light codes. Sellers can temporarily hide them to deceive you. by SSIRHC in YouShouldKnow

[–]shmehh123 1067 points1068 points  (0 children)

It’s my god given right to have my check engine light flashing red, white and blue and my tires bald as an eagle. My body shop my choice don’t tread on me bro /s

YSK that you are not a professionally trained therapist and that the burden of helping someone who is suicidal is not on you. by SweetTeaBags in YouShouldKnow

[–]Twisterlord 272 points273 points  (0 children)

don't be their therapist, but be their friend.

don't be the guy who just copies and pastes a bunch of phone numbers. i was suicidal myself and all it did was make me give up asking for help.

YSK If someone informs you they're suicidal, you should take that statement seriously and offer to help by EJRose83 in YouShouldKnow

[–]mydadpickshisnose 352 points353 points 2 (0 children)

Yeah nah.. This is bunk.

Your mental health and safety is paramount. You are under NO obligation to extend yourself beyond what you can handle. If someone saying they're suicidal or in a fucked up place comes to you for help, you can and are allowed to say "I'm sorry but I cannot help you". Give them the details for various resources but you are under no obligation to be their emergency therapist or safety person. Especially if you are not equipped to emotionally deal with it.

The only help you should offer is the encouragement to seek appropriate help.

You can offer to listen to them, debrief, but don't offer advice or criticism. You can also call the end of the conversation whenever you reach your limit.

If they continue to come back saying woe is me I'm suicidal, and they haven't done shit to seek the appropriate help, you can pretty much put it down to attention seeking.

Source: Someone who's dealt with homicidal and suicidal thoughts much of my adult life who had also been backed into the corner and forced to be someone else's verbal punching bag/therapist/suicide prevention person. I now have massive boundaries in place to save my own mental health from having to deal with others.

This YSK is extremely irresponsible.

YSK If someone informs you they're suicidal, you should take that statement seriously and offer to help by EJRose83 in YouShouldKnow

[–]ohno_spaghetti_o 259 points260 points  (0 children)

YSK also that you are not responsible for someone else's actions. If you do not want to be with someone their depression or saying they will commit suicide if you leave is not your responsibility. People need professional help if you think they would hurt themselves call the police or a trusted person to help them. You are not responsible for someone else's emotional/mental state at the expense of your own.

YSK If someone informs you they're suicidal, you should take that statement seriously and offer to help by EJRose83 in YouShouldKnow

[–]motherofkai 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My shitty sister reported our own mother to a state hospital, I was livid with anger. My mom called me in distress while a police officer was screaming at her to put her hands behind her back. My mother is Hispanic, ahe doesn't know the language very well.

Thankfully, I was 5 min away. When I arrived my POS sister was standing watching my mom get yelled at by fkn pig. I instructed my mom in Spanish and told her I would be coming to get her not to worry.

It was fkn heartbreaking to watch that cop take her away. I drove an hour away to the facility where she was taken and spoke to 4 doctors there explaining that my sister lied to get rid of my mother.

They released her to me 2 hrs later. My mother was destroyed, she looked like a walking shell.

The worst thing of all, my mom still talks to my shitty sister and she buys my moms affection with flowers and gifts.

YSK that if you have children, or even just someone who really loves you, you shouldn’t avoid being in pictures by alexsangthat in YouShouldKnow

[–]alexsangthat[S] 2022 points2023 points  (0 children)

Just think about how when you look at pictures of your loved ones, are you focusing on flaws, do you even see them? Or do you just see someone you love? It’s the same for your loved ones, I promise you!

YSK that if you have children, or even just someone who really loves you, you shouldn’t avoid being in pictures by alexsangthat in YouShouldKnow

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FART_HOLE 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Don’t live your life doing something you hate just to make people comfortable after you die. It’s not selfish to not constantly think about your “legacy” and what’s going to happen after you die. You’re dead, you won’t feel guilt, you won’t be looking down at your sad family looking for photos. Just live your life how you want and then die.

YSK that if you have children, or even just someone who really loves you, you shouldn’t avoid being in pictures by alexsangthat in YouShouldKnow

[–]longbreadsticks 106 points107 points  (0 children)

I dont think its fair to make people take pictures when they feel uncomfortable. If they dont wanna be in pictures just respect that. Its not always about whether other people think they look bad. My sister hates taking pictures because when she sees herself in them it makes her insecure because she doesnt like the way she looks. If she dies I wont have many pictures of her but i think its more important how she feels when shes alive than how i feel when shes dead. I'll have other things to remember her by.