Arcade Fire at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco via the Leica Q2 Monochrom + Summilux 28mm f/1.7

magomra · 2022-12-04T20:36:39+00:00

This has been mostly a media driven panic. The band just proved they're musically as strong as ever and not going anywhere. They'll be back on the road next year and WE will be there.

beardedjack · 2022-12-04T21:02:12+00:00

I can name 100 musicians that have been caught, admitted to, or even bragged about being sleazy with their fans. Non of which have had the vitriol of this magnitude that Win Butler has received. Why is that?

lampshade732 · 2022-12-04T16:26:40+00:00

I wasn't at the Montreal show so can't comment on it specifically. But I think it is multiple attempts to destroy this band at this point and make this stick to them. It's clear they've performed phenomenally throughout this tour and that turnout was fairly good.

Does all this make me think less of Win? Yes. Does that impact how I enjoyed the show I went to and listening to their music now? No. I thought it might but the music and performance was incredible. And Arcade Fire is not just Win.

I understand there were power differentials at play with the sexual interactions he had that made them dicey. But these were all legal, consenting adults. Let's remember that. I'm with the others on this forum that some of the reactions to this minimize the experiences of individuals that experience horrific sexual violence. I do not think Win is a violent, sexual predator. And if he was I could not go to the shows or enjoy the music. But that doesn't mean I condone his actions either.

GoTime81 · 2022-12-05T17:21:41+00:00

Probably a little break, which is obvious for any band that has just finished touring and recently released an album.

The whole situation with Win is totally blown out of proportion. It’s not a good look, but the accusations are extremely weak. I suggest reading the articles on Pitchfork for yourself. It is bullshit. Regret after consent is not rape. We are living in the cancel culture so that’s what we are somewhat seeing.

The music is still amazing. The concert I saw at Mohegan Sun absolutely rocked. Good luck to the band. Good luck to Win and Regine. I’d hardly call their marriage conventional, they are rock and roll stars after all.

In the end, we are fans and always want more!

Dream_in_Cerulean · 2022-11-22T20:21:53+00:00

What is up with Pitchfork? This reads like “Sweet Valley High.” Did they actually cite her diary???

So….a divorced adult woman becomes attracted to a man once she realizes how famous he is, longs to be intellectual buddies, cheats on her boyfriend and fucks the famous dude for three years, and is retroactively upset that she did so.

It sucks to fall for someone who just wants you for sex, for real. Butler also seems super clueless and unable to read the room. But Pitchfork is engaging in some sleazy journalism here.

Dream_in_Cerulean · 2022-11-22T22:37:31+00:00

I am surprised by how many people do not see that taking autonomy away from young women is a dangerous line of reasoning. If a 22 year old woman is not capable of sexual decision making, then what other decisions fall into question? There was a time not long ago when women were not allowed to vote or have their own credit cards because they were not viewed as being capable of making their own choices. It really bothers me to see this author and so many commenters who seem to view young women as incapable of decision making, and imply that only the man is capable. Very questionable line of thinking that leads to some unpleasant results.

Lost_Found84 · 2022-11-23T04:27:20+00:00

Yeah, I hate being in the position to have to say this, but when I’m reading an account where she basically says, ‘I never said no or tried to stop him and I was really attracted to him and wanted a deeper relationship with him so I could see why he thought it was consensual’, I can’t help myself…

That’s not why he thought it was consensual. That’s why it was consensual. And I have yet to read one word why any of these women were surprised that the guy they saw once every few months, who was already married literally to his bandmate and career, was not interested in a “deeper relationship”. None of these women have claimed that he said he would leave his marriage, so why do they all act like they expected it anyway.

It really rubs me the wrong way when it appears that something has ceased to be consensual only after a year plus of you not getting what you wanted out of the relationship, especially when what you wanted was never a reasonable or promised expectation in the first place.

bb5199 · 2022-11-22T19:37:49+00:00

Stories like this hurt women who have legitimate accusations of real crimes. This is college/high school crap like regretting who you slept with. Most reasonable people who read the full details will think Win wasn't a stand-up guy but he committed no crime.

The Pitchfork article reads like the woman had zero autonomy about her sexual encounters. Like she was a hypnotized person with no control over her actions and it's all Win's fault for wanting to have sex with her. Give me a break.

The-Figurehead · 2022-11-22T18:57:21+00:00

This is really base journalism. We have an adult woman who had an ongoing sexual relationship with a needy, horny weirdo who feels jilted and is now questioning the reasons she engaged in that relationship.

Making this a news story is trashy, tabloid sensationalism. Trying to frame this story as an example of sexual predation or abuse is grossly irresponsible and downright malicious.

DM65536 · 2022-11-22T21:36:11+00:00

What’s astounding here is how many of you superfans hold your regard for a band 12 years past its prime (look up the release date of The Suburbs) higher than you do well-being of this young woman.

Unless I'm misreading this, "past its prime" seems like an oddly petty dig to work into a paragraph that ends with hand wringing over concern for a human being. Would her well-being matter less to you if they'd just won their 2011 Grammy last year or something? (I'm sure it wouldn't, of course, but you're sending a weird message here.)

She told the guy that she was in a dark emotional place and he responded with a photo of himself jerking it and hours of pathetic pleas for her to come over.

I assure you, I find this as gross as you do, but I'm genuinely curious: is there a reason, in your mind, why she wouldn't simply block the number of a guy who behaves like this? You don't have to defend his actions to wonder why this wasn't an instant deal breaker for her. And if the answer is more hand waving about "power dynamics" (I'm sorry if that sounds sarcastic, I'm just frustrated by how vague and ill-defined these new buzzwords always are), aren't we being a bit infantilizing? If a 22-year-old can't be expected to say "ugh, fuck this dirtbag" to a guy who sends dick pics in response to a comment about her emotional state, what exactly can she be expected to do? (Again, it's a genuine question; it's not meant to be a gotcha.)

rfamico · 2022-11-22T18:36:43+00:00

Where do you begin with a story like this? Where the first story had some potentially problematic allegations, this is just a woman rescinding consent years later because of perceived power dynamics. He's not your boss, he has no control over your future; be accountable for your actions rather than absolving yourself and blaming it on the other party. You had celebrity brain and choose to be with someone on the basis of fame.

This story only works if you assume that somehow Win is more evolved? more lucid about the situation? whereas the other person is incapable of autonomy or dominion over one's decisions and therefore it's up to Win to be the responsible one.

How does this work exactly? Should famous people only sleep with people of equal standing?

My takeaway from this is that Sabina probably requires power of attorney.

If I'm Win, this is the story that gives him grounds for defamation of character.

blueballs_demarco · 2022-11-23T01:08:08+00:00

So basically,

she didn’t know who he was at first but when her friend told her who he was she went gaga over him?

And only because he was famous. So she decided to go on some clout high and have sex with him even though he asked if she had a boyfriend

I think what makes it so hypocritical is that she still had sex with him for almost a year while she’s still with her boyfriend

She’s over here talking about emotional damage and stuff but what about the boyfriend? Who knows how long they’ve been together and how much memories they created.

I feel bad for bro being with some unloyal chick who belongs to the streets giving him sloppy seconds

Don’t get me wrong what Win did was sleezy too but definitely not illegal I just hate how they make her seem like she had no control when she was 22 and mature enough to make her own damn decisions

They both are in the wrong. I genuinely thought Win was deeply in love with his wife who is fucking incredible and talented but who truly know what happens behind closed doors

tehdudee · 2022-11-22T20:46:00+00:00

Look I am not defending him but this is such bullshit. She cheated on her bf (wonder how this guy felt, maybe she was shitty to him?) for the famous man because he talked about poets.

Yeah he sounds like a dick but what did you expect from a guy who is married in huge band. Then she kept contact with him, had sex again in 2018 because she has her place now. Sorry that’s not assault, thats you having sex (multiple times) with a guy you regret with. And of course he won’t commit, they had 3 long ass tours in those years and he is MARRIED! Smfh.

You really think HE IS GONNA LEAVE HIS WIFE AND KIDS FOR YOU? His wife sucks and you’re better? She’s effin Regine and do you really want a guy who leaves his wife & kids for you to be your partner?

I just feel bad for the dude whose gf cheated and left him for a rock star.

tomacco99 · 2022-11-23T13:24:09+00:00

This article actually makes me feel better about seeing Arcade Fire next week, which is not Pitchfork’s intent I’m sure. Now I find myself giving Pitchfork the side-eye more than Win. What are they doing? This article is not worth posting and only discredits the media’s coverage of these stories. There’s no allegation of assault or anything. All I’m seeing is a story about a young woman who had an affair with a rock star, misinterpreted the nature of the relationship, had tons of consensual sex with him, and regrets it in hindsight. They’ve crossed a line with this article, and now they’re in “hit job” territory, sorry to say. This is not responsible journalism. Yes, we understand at this point that Win slept around, and was sleazy and insensitive for a few years. This is not newsworthy though.

thehotredditmonster · 2022-11-23T16:44:25+00:00

"Because she didn’t overtly say no or otherwise try to stop him, Sabina believes Butler would characterize the sex as consensual."

Ya, so would the law

bonersforbukowski · 2022-11-23T07:21:36+00:00

Pitchfork is being kinda weird

little-bird · 2022-09-28T01:57:53+00:00

good point. I also don’t appreciate the timing from Pitchfork because it comes across as an attention/drama seeking move rather than a journalistic drive to expose some truths, and it was planned without any concern for the other artists and professionals whose livelihoods currently depend on the band. take Win down if that’s the right thing to do, leave everyone else alone.

talkingbedz · 2022-08-28T21:11:17+00:00

Here's a dose of reality for you: how someone decides to respond to a situation is not indicative of its severity.

*That does not excuse any wrongdoing.* But to say that "someone tried to kill themselves therefore all the worst suspicions are therefore true* is lazy thinking - even if it comes from a good place.

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