top 200 commentsshow 500

[–] Eaglesandyfortson 886 points887 points  (75 children)

All the bird teams would be a nest

[–] Patriotsprofessor_parrot[S] 428 points429 points  (25 children)

All cat teams would be a jungle or den. It would be the ultimate battle of dibs

[–] VikingsJerryRiceDidntFumble 559 points560 points  (4 children)

If you miss the playoffs 3 years in a row it becomes "The Litter Box" until you earn a better nickname

[–] Seahawksclintonius 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Keep losing and it becomes the Spray Corner.

[–] Lionscuzzlightyear927 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't like this ...

[–] JaguarsBrasticus 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Jags could be The Pantanal. And yes I envision people reading it like Turd Ferguson on Celebrity Jeopoardy. "Yeah, I'll uh -- I'll go with The Pant Anal for $200"

[–] BengalsDemetrios1453 66 points67 points  (5 children)

Our stadiums have been nicknamed the Jungle for over 30 years, so the other cat teams would have to choose something else...

[–] Bears Bengalsgeneration_D 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Lions - The Den, Bengals - The Jungle, Jags - the Amazon, Panthers… idk

[–] Bengalskitchensink108 87 points88 points  (4 children)

Lions could have The Savanna. One of the other cat teams can have The Rainforest and partner with Rainforest Café.

[–] Packersgibby377 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It'd be the middle of the 1st quarter and there'd already be a two hour wait at rainforest cafe

[–] EaglesPhromDaPharcyde 84 points85 points  (3 children)

We would defintely do not want to call it "The Eagles Nest"....

[–] GiantsRBR_DB_361804 13 points14 points  (1 child)

unless Donald Sterling buys the team

[–] RamsBobSagetsWetDream 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like calling your home stadium a "nest" is making its destiny to be doomed for failure.

Where do you lay eggs? In a nest.

[–] TexansMountain-Leader-4344 118 points119 points  (15 children)

An Eagle’s nest is called an Aerie

[–] ColtsHouseKilgannon 34 points35 points  (5 children)

Was gonna say, it would be an Aerie.

[–] EaglesBrennanSpeaks 92 points93 points  (0 children)

You'd end up with confused Philadelphians trying to buy lingerie there, and nobody wants to see that.

[–] TexansMountain-Leader-4344 55 points56 points  (2 children)

The Foundry for the Steelers

[–] CommandersVaman434 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Or a roost.

[–] PatriotsYung_Corneliois 19 points20 points  (1 child)

The Hawks Nest for Seahawks would be the best though so you’d have to switch it up.

[–] SeahawksGarysSpace 20 points21 points  (0 children)

A section of our stadium is actually already called the hawks nest.

[–]TeedUp4Misery 84 points85 points  (10 children)

Ravens can have the Cemetery or Sleepy Hollow or something to go along with the Poe theme.

[–]xdrewP 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Sleepy Hollow was Washington Irving.

May I recommend The House of Usher as an alternative?

[–] SeahawksKingOfTheGoobers 22 points23 points  (0 children)


[–] LionsMy_Tallest 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They could have a perch!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t even imagine calling the Linc anything but that now though. 😂😂

[–] Coltsrwjehs 634 points635 points  (23 children)

Steelers would be the foundry and that's super cool.

Also an awesome Tony hawk pro skater level.

[–] Steelersquiet_quitting 93 points94 points  (1 child)

I loved that game, and that level was definitely one of the best.

[–]lampshoesforkpen 58 points59 points  (12 children)

The Forge

The Steel Mill

The Cauldron

[–] BrownsSuperb-Ad-7269 223 points224 points  (20 children)

Funny enough the Browns would probably have Paul Brown stadium instead of the Bengals.

[–] BengalsJoePurrow 67 points68 points  (13 children)

Nah, get my creative my ohio friend. We are The Jungle, you'd be something like the Dawg Pound or smth

[–] VikingsKSIIPICDSTUVWI 1457 points1458 points  (47 children)


[–] PackersUranus_Hz 393 points394 points  (5 children)

Begrudging respect

[–] PackersBBO1007 246 points247 points  (3 children)

TBF, they go there when eliminated from playoffs.

[–] VikingsPope_Beenadick 105 points106 points  (2 children)

Nope, straight to hell

[–] BuccaneersChampaBay12 110 points111 points  (0 children)


[–] Rams ChiefsSupersonic564 252 points253 points  (18 children)

And you can call the cheerleaders Valkyries

[–] PatriotsInamanlyfashion 148 points149 points  (15 children)

Blast Immigrant Song to open every game

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (14 children)

We already do

[–] Eagles JaguarsChannelNeo 81 points82 points  (4 children)

Because you come from the land of ice and snow.

Love it.

[–] 49ers_Hypnotik 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Theres nothing topping that

[–]Ownpath69 86 points87 points  (0 children)

That’s just badass

[–] Chiefsout_of_816 53 points54 points  (3 children)

I think calling it The Longship would be cool as well

[–] VikingsDevium44 61 points62 points  (2 children)

That’s what I’d prefer. Then our Ring of Honor could be Valhalla

[–] Packersdipdipderp 27 points28 points  (1 child)

The ring of honor definitely makes more sense as Valhalla - the place where the chosen warriors rest.

But hey, people get so much wrong about the Viking age (including those nice horns on your guys helmet there) it's kinda fitting that we get this wrong too.

[–] Coltsrwjehs 69 points70 points  (1 child)

Yeah that's awesome

[–] 49ersyallbyourhuckleberry 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thats the winner.

[–] EaglesPresidentD0uchebag 47 points48 points  (3 children)

Primetime Stadium. So every home game, Cousins is playing in Primetime lol.

[–] Vikingsjosephus_the_wise 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Please dear god no

[–] Texanshoutex727 311 points312 points  (35 children)

The Barn, probably :/

[–] TexansTheGreatMcPuffin 92 points93 points  (1 child)

Bullring, The Corral, or The China Shop.

[–]WillB_HTX 31 points32 points  (1 child)

The Bullpen

[–] PatriotsAdmiralEllis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wrong sport?

[–] Patriotsprofessor_parrot[S] 119 points120 points  (11 children)

With a name like Texans? I'd go with The Gun Range

[–] Coltsrwjehs 157 points158 points  (5 children)

Remove the roof and call it sawed off stadium.

[–] Patriotsprofessor_parrot[S] 74 points75 points  (4 children)

Your stadium literally looks like a fancy barn so if anyone is getting The Barn, it's you guys

[–] Coltsrwjehs 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Fieldhouse, please and thank you. Barns are all red.

[–]TheMissingFiles 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Please tell me there’s pork tenderloin served at Lucas Oil.

[–] Coltsrwjehs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Of course there is.

[–] Texans SeahawksDoesntMatterBrian 19 points20 points  (8 children)

Too creative. It would probably just be “Texas Stadium.”

[–] Panthers Texanshosty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Harris County Field at Houston Stadium

[–] Chargershoppergym 1021 points1022 points  (28 children)

Rams stadium

[–] PackersAny_Application7786 318 points319 points  (4 children)

I prefer the charging outlet but that’s just me

[–] Ramseggery 41 points42 points  (1 child)

If they were in Vegas they could have the Power Strip.

[–] Lions LionsDanCampbell89 155 points156 points  (7 children)

the Shearing Shed

[–] ChargersLakeShowBoltUp 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Big Papi Kroenke’s $5 Billion Hole in the Ground

[–]Batfern 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Ram Ranch lol

[–] NFLdinosbucket 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Thunder Dome!

[–] Chargersheyguysbigfanhere 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Dodge stadium

[–] VikingsSkolBeavs 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Dodge missed out on that sponsorship opportunity with the dodge chargers and dodge rams. Im guessing they didnt want to be confused with dodger stadium

[–] Saintssaintsfan92612 495 points496 points  (27 children)

The Cathedral?

[–] Saintsfng71 571 points572 points  (5 children)

Notre Dome

[–] SaintsshyguyJ 65 points66 points  (0 children)

This is the one

[–] Saintstachyonfield 119 points120 points  (1 child)

I do bring up God's name a lot watching games.

[–] ChiefsTheUltimate721 63 points64 points  (0 children)

The Superdome is a pretty cool name though

[–] Eagles JaguarsChannelNeo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

THE Superdome

[–] SaintsMatjl 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Knowing Nola it would be Vatican South

[–] SaintsNOLA2Cincy 9 points10 points  (0 children)


[–] Bills Bills3rd_Degree_Churns 189 points190 points  (11 children)

The Piss Trough

[–] Raidersahydell 109 points110 points  (1 child)

Hey Oakland Coliseum is a national treasure.

[–] Titansmke_miguel 362 points363 points  (21 children)


[–] PackersThe_Third_Stoll 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Or Mount Othrys, because that’s the titans version of Mount Olympus

[–] Titansbsgreene25 110 points111 points  (3 children)

Or anything related to Ancient Greek/Roman mythology, like “the coliseum” or maybe even something that integrates Greek vocabulary like “Adelphia Coliseum” idk just throwing ideas out there

[–] Titansmke_miguel 33 points34 points  (1 child)

For sure, I just rolled with it as I believe that’s where the Titans ended up being banished to in Greek mythology

[–] JaguarsSea-Satisfaction-711 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Holy shit that's dope

[–] Buccaneers RavensTheFencingCoach 649 points650 points  (12 children)

Boaty McBoatface at Pirate Hooker Stadium

[–] Lions LionsDanCampbell89 168 points169 points  (8 children)

Davy Jones' Locker surely

[–] Seahawks ChargersSeegeegroth 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Davy Jones' Locker Room

[–] Texans NFLlowlifenebula 162 points163 points  (4 children)

Moo cow fuck milk stadium

[–] Bengalskitchensink108 223 points224 points  (12 children)

The Jungle

[–]TheMissingFiles 97 points98 points  (7 children)


[–] LionsXTR_Legend 59 points60 points  (3 children)


[–] BengalsDemetrios1453 42 points43 points  (2 children)

The funny thing is... that's exactly how it got its nickname. The '88 Bengals were good, the crowds were loud, and G'n'R had a hit song that fit the tiger theme. The nickname just transferred over when we went from Riverfront to PBS/Paycor.

[–] BengalsClintBeastwood91 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The way Romo said “Welcome to the jungle” when we beat the Chiefs in the regular season game in 2021, he sounded like he thought he invented fire.

[–] DolphinsAgelessBlakeFerguson 8 points9 points  (1 child)



[–] PanthersDue-Ad5407 152 points153 points  (2 children)


[–] Steelers3dge-1ord 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Cheerleaders have to shave their heads.

[–] ChiefsHiddenNinja631 210 points211 points  (15 children)

Ironic because Arrowhead now has a sponsor.

[–] Ravens RavensJ-Fid 128 points129 points  (7 children)

Technically, it's the field that is sponsored, not the stadium itself.

[–] BroncosFormber 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Same in Denver. It's Empower Field at Mile High (Stadium).

I still hate it a lot.

[–] ChiefsHiddenNinja631 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Good point, good point

[–] PackerslovesStrawberryCake 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Lambeau has sponsors, but they put the names on the gates. Miller, FleetFarm, and the Oneida Nation are the ones that I'm remembering right now.

[–] RamsQuasimdo 320 points321 points  (31 children)

The gold mine would be a cool one for the niners

Edit: all the non animal teams would have some cool opportunities.

Patriors could be Revolutionary Field, Raiders could be Davy Jones Locker, ect.

[–] SteelersAutobot-N 117 points118 points  (18 children)

Steelers could be The Ironworks

[–]naes2000 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The foundry

[–] EaglesLaMarc_Gasoldridge_ 68 points69 points  (7 children)

What about just "The Pit".

[–] Coltstomorrowtoday9 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The Furnace

[–]aerfgadf 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was thinking either “the forge” or “the foundry”

[–] SaintsSkullkid1423 25 points26 points  (1 child)

The coal mine feels good for a Pittsburgh team too

[–] Billscieluvgrau 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Bills could be Folding Table Stadium.

[–] Jets 49ersSuper_Goomba64 89 points90 points  (23 children)

The Jets - The Airfield

Giants - The Lair

[–] Jetsnewadcd0405 59 points60 points  (3 children)

JetBlue Stadium for compromise

[–] RamsWolfie1531 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is actually decent.

I’ve heard stupider.

[–] Jetsmerple454 71 points72 points  (3 children)

The Giants should be "Jets Stadium" so they know how it feels

[–] BillsFlankerooski719 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Giants - The Beanstalk

[–] BroncosJadeHellbringer 116 points117 points  (13 children)

Mile High Stadium. As it always should have been.

[–] BroncosKhaoticMess 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Still is in my mind.

[–] ChiefsSection225 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Broncos should always have Mile High, Chiefs should always have Arrowhead.

I like my rivals to stay put and unchanged just like the Chiefs. The Raiders will eventually be playing in the back of a casino somewhere under chandelier light and I hate that. It isn't them. Not enough dirt.

[–] BroncosAreaGuy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not a fan of agreeing with you. Feels wrong, so please say something stupid.

[–] ChiefsSection225 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Extended warranty? How could I lose?!"

[–] LionsDanCampbellsNipples 183 points184 points  (21 children)

The Den

[–] Lions LionsDanCampbell89 80 points81 points  (5 children)

Pride Rock

[–] LionsTechiedad91 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I feel like Disney is gonna want some money for that

[–] Lions LionsOrangeForeign 65 points66 points  (1 child)

That sounds cool. We could even make a show about the inner machinations of the team and call it Inside the Den

[–] BengalsKevKevThePug 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Leader of the hidden village of the den

[–] Patriotszi76 95 points96 points  (13 children)

Minutemen Field

[–] Jetsspedgy 61 points62 points  (3 children)

The Hangar

[–] RavensNaugrin27 31 points32 points  (5 children)

The Roost.

[–] BrownsCbjfan99 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Nevermore Field

[–] Steelersmonstermayhem436 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You gotta stick with EAP theme.

[–] CommandersHoopOnPoop 58 points59 points  (29 children)

I literally don't even fucking know. What the hell even are we?

[–] SaintsMiniatureLucifer 96 points97 points  (7 children)

The Pentagon

[–] CommandersHoopOnPoop 63 points64 points  (6 children)

I guess so, yeah. Commanders is just so non-specific.

I wish we kept WFT and our stadium could just be "The Football Stadium."

[–] PatriotsAdmiralEllis 22 points23 points  (0 children)

"Yeah I'm going to see The Football Team play at The Football Stadium tonight, I'm really excited."

- Words spoken by someone who is probably a lizard in disguise

Kinda makes sense for DC?

[–] Patriotsprofessor_parrot[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

You're definitely a military team. The number font, wordmarks and the black uniform make that clear. So something military related.

[–]Loverolutionary 30 points31 points  (0 children)

someone said the war room which is pretty awesome

[–] Steelersnru_0307 21 points22 points  (2 children)

The War Room, The Fort, Command Center, The Bunker, DEFCON 1…just a few random ideas

[–] PackersUranus_Hz 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Well, it’s baseball, but the Milwaukee Brewers would still be playing in Miller Park.

[–] Titansdeathandtaxes1617 30 points31 points  (2 children)

The Coliseum.

The Titans stadium was originally "Adelphia Coliseum" and then was "The Coliseum" for a few years.

Now it's just Nissan Stadium which is lame.

I really hope the new stadium goes back to being just "The Coliseum". Such a perfect name in The Athens of the South.

[–] Bearselectronarchitect 89 points90 points  (23 children)

Can Chicago just claim “The Great Outdoors”

[–] BearsTHA-HINRICH-MANEUVER 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The Honey Pot

[–] Bearsthrux16r 18 points19 points  (4 children)

The bear cave

[–] Bearszaikanekochan 35 points36 points  (1 child)

The Truckstop Parking Lot At 2AM After The Bars Close And You've Been Feeling A Bit Curious About Your Own Sexuality And You're In The State Of Mind That It's Your Life And Why Shouldn't You Explore Your Desires Field.

[–] ChiefsKhada_the_Collector 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You good homie?

[–] Lions LionsDanCampbell89 54 points55 points  (1 child)

The Shitter in the Woods

[–] Bearselectronarchitect 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That’s what it says above each bathroom

[–] BearsRemarkableAd9919 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hundred Acre Woods

[–] BearsForTheFazoland 8 points9 points  (1 child)

What about the “unfriendly confines” as a nod to Wrigley Field and the Cubs?

[–] JetsRadnegone 120 points121 points  (11 children)

“Bill’s house”

[–] BillsCommercial_Flan_1898 66 points67 points  (6 children)

Double Entendre for us :(

[–] SeahawksSubstantial_Parsnip2 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I was thinking Flight Deck. But Bills House is better

[–] Steelersdibsthefatantelope 16 points17 points  (5 children)

The forge

The Ironworks

The furnace

[–] Ravens RavensNifos88 8 points9 points  (0 children)


[–]FreezinPete 17 points18 points  (2 children)

How about The Power Plant for the chargers?

[–] Patriotsshiggydiggypreoteins 37 points38 points  (3 children)

The Colts would be The Glue Factory

[–] Cowboyscscowboy01 26 points27 points  (14 children)

Cowboys gotta be something western so maybe The Saloon or something

[–] CowboysPlasticCraken 20 points21 points  (5 children)

I was thinking The Ranch maybe?

[–] Cowboys BillsDrearyYew 13 points14 points  (1 child)

We just need 18 of the players to be naked in the showers simultaneously

[–] 49erssportsfan510 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The Corral?

[–] Cowboyskodiakinc 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Given our state of mediocrity over last 25 years, I'd go with "O.K. Corral".

[–] BillsOk-Ad5495 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Stampede Stadium, Home of the Buffalo Bills.

[–] BillsBoris_teh_Blade 41 points42 points  (6 children)

Bills would forever be 'The Ralph'

[–] BillsJBradley500 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I'm old enough to default to Rich Stadium.

[–] DolphinsNumchukk 47 points48 points  (11 children)

The Ocean

[–] DolphinsTheKrakenLord 44 points45 points  (2 children)

The Cove. Look it up 😞

[–] ChiefsRCJHGBR9989 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When the dolphins were absolutely abysmal a few years ago the guys on Pardon my Take would play clips from the cove for “the fastest two minutes” segment for the dolphins. It was horrible and fucking hilarious as the same time.

[–] BengalsKevKevThePug 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I’d go with the Reef.

[–]Ecstatic-Hamster8141 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fish Tank

[–] BearsForTheFazoland 8 points9 points  (0 children)


[–] Brownsjrc1896 21 points22 points  (4 children)

The massage parlor.

[–]TheSecretofBog 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The Raiders fans pretty much just refer to Allegiant stadium to The Death Star.

[–] GiantsShaggie95 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Metlife Jets/Giants: JumboJet Stadium

[–] 49ersBrix001 28 points29 points  (6 children)

For the Rams-Ram Ranch

[–] Vikingscasc9801 21 points22 points  (0 children)

E-Pulltab Stadium - Vikings

[–] Jetsdevonondrugs 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Since met life has two teams you could call it the twin towers

[–] PatriotsAmm-O-Matic 53 points54 points  (9 children)

Tom Brady Field at Gillette Stadium

Don’t think any QB will ever surpass his win total there. And it’d be obviously be well deserved after all he’s done for the franchise.

[–]Zestyclose-Rub8932 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The Forge (Steelers)

[–] Panthers PanthersGuiltyjerk 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Kitty Litter Park

[–] PackersNo-Baby9317 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Green Bay- the warehouse

[–] PackersUranus_Hz 7 points8 points  (4 children)

The Butcher Shop

[–] Broncosfufuberry21 14 points15 points  (5 children)

High horse.

[–] SteelersSlimZorro 35 points36 points  (4 children)

The Browns would play in the toilet

[–] Bearsdropay 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Their Qb is a shithead

[–] JaguarsSea-Satisfaction-711 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lions could be the Pridelands

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Cowboys = The Ranch