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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 18.35 years of server time

hang in there its worth it shes cute you can do it by Chasith in instant_regret

[–]Oph1d1an 1858 points1859 points  (0 children)

“I never thought I would die like this, but I always really hoped.” -Philip J. Fry

When fetch goes wrong by Scaulbylausis in instant_regret

[–]BULL3T2B1NARY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 garter 1 kitten 1 cast 1 beer 1 wife 1 ego 1 facepalm 1 belt 1 bundle of mail 1 puppy 1 mask 1 stubbles? 1 tusks 1 anal glands 2 dicks 2 pacifiers 1 bird 1 incontinence pad 1 ivermectin 1 electromagnetic properties 1 baby ya dog 1 pen 1 lasers 1 fluffy helmet 1 snake 1 periodic table of elements 1 ass 1 breakaway pants 1 catnip 1 debris 3 leashes 1 keys 1 body filler 1 camera 1 gardening can 1 cheese trap 1 lactose intolerance 1 leaves 1 slurs 1 pipe 1 hinges 1 growth hormones 1 credit card 1 saddle 1 Scooby snacks 1 inflated balls 1 Dostoevsky 1 squad number 1 fish 1 deworming horse paste 1 flying children 1 very large criminal record 1 Asian child 1 rainbow colored lasso 1 gravy 1 microwaved cooked eggs 1 hospital bill 1 tit 1 wheelchair 1 basketball themed dinnerware 1 speedo 1 steel-beam-melting jet fuel 1 healthcare 2 grandmas 1 toilet paper 1 baby 1 arm 1 bamboo 1 batarangs 1 poop bag I I indestructible phone 1 amphetamines and red bull 1 night stand 1 tank 1 pspsps 1 paperless doobie 1 sand 1 banana peel 1 shots 1 poop knife 1 Russian roulette 1 2x4 1 dropbears 1 feathers 1 bra 1 laces 1 Guinea pig 1 neon clothing 1 silk 1 Molotov cocktail 1 three-bean salad 1 sober child 1 crayons 1 jaws 1 mudbray 1 orphans 1 bones 1 dinosaur cuddle blanket 1 teleported bread 1 baby legs 1 afterbirth 2 wands 1 balls 1 crocs 1 pinky 1 rock 1 steak bake 1 pickaxe hammer 1 good luck 1 tombstone 1 door 1 healthy food 1 bounce 1 overpriced coffee 1 intestines 1 hornets 1 dazed and confused dog

"Gonna Break Into This Guy's HOUSE" by Chasith in instant_regret

[–]peeinmymouth_please 440 points441 points  (0 children)

Was that a dog? Looked like a fat koala waddling up to the scene

Toke smoke by Boojibs in instant_regret

[–]ilovepolthavemybabie 1308 points1309 points  (0 children)

✓ That escalated quickly

✓ They had us in the first half, ngl

✓ To shreds, you say?

Just hide it by Iron_Juice in instant_regret

[–]twhitney 363 points364 points  (0 children)

I destroyed the toilet on a ferry once, was an explosion, toilet couldn’t handle it. When I tried to sneak out (hardly ANYBODY ever uses these in my normal commute) there was a line of 4 guys waiting… I shrugged and was like “be careful, some asshole messed that up” … hoping maybe I could avoid the blame? As I walked away I heard the dude go “Jesus Christ!” and when I looked over my shoulder he noped out of there. I think they all knew I was the asshole.

Edit: Silver for a literal shitpost!

Should have checked the clearance by AristonD in instant_regret

[–]Saif-7 458 points459 points  (0 children)

First time giving an award here you go

Jumping on a "trampoline" by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]Tomtom987654321 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Good thing that guy is holding the ladder good so no one gets hurt.