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[–]John_Denvers_Head 8745 points8746 points 22 (827 children)

Someone will need to make sure they don't leave Barron behind.

[–]BigShoots 3009 points3010 points  (99 children)

Can you imagine how hard Dr. Phil would push for that first interview with him?

[–]Surprisetrextoy 624 points625 points  (47 children)

Wait. Dr Phil isn't only alive but still somewhat relevant?

[–]Toby_O_Notoby 1216 points1217 points  (412 children)

He'd be pretty hard to miss, he's like 8 feet tall now.

EDIT: Just because this is getting some traction, here's another shot of him where you can how tall he actually is. I'm 5'11" and feel like his legs would end somewhere around my elbow.

Having said that, I hope the kid doesn't suffer. It's not like he could pick his parents and it would be kinda cool if he like, came off on the bench for the Lakers one day.

[–]YaoiNekomata 935 points936 points  (139 children)

I would hate to be him, cause now everyone expects him to become a supervillain or a superhero. No in-between.

[–]moriarty70 1129 points1130 points  (87 children)

Honestly, I'd be so happy for him if I hear his name in 20 years tied to some mid teir charity effort, and realize I'd forgotten about him.

I think that would be the best life he could get. Be his own man and outside the influence of his family.

[–]Jeremizzle 826 points827 points  (51 children)

Holy shit, is that really him??? I think this is the first photo I've seen since 2016. No wonder Trump keeps him locked away, he towers over him lmfao. It must kill his ego a little every single time he cranes his head up to look at him.

[–]belethors_sister 499 points500 points  (43 children)

I can't remember where I read it but apparently that's exactly why he doesn't want Barron photographed with him.

[–]StrawberryGeneral660 245 points246 points  (16 children)

True, He is half a head taller and only 14. Eric is tall too, hopefully Melania continues to keep Barron away from them all-

[–]TurtleInATracksuit 198 points199 points  (27 children)

Holy shit lol. I really hope he turns out ok and not like his father, because none of this is his fault.

[–]smacky623 230 points231 points  (18 children)

His father might be a very nice guy. Do we know who he is?

[–]TheFalconKid 83 points84 points  (13 children)

Frank Sinatra. Barron and Ronan Farrow are half brothers.

[–]smacky623 43 points44 points  (12 children)

Dude, I was telling someone about Ronan the other day and how he was estranged from Woody Allen and looked it up to be sure and it was then that I read the Sinatra thing. And holy shit, Ronan looks like Frank. I believe it.

[–]erkdaclerk 252 points253 points  (29 children)

Dude, there is no way Trump is the father of that kid.

[–]TheFalconKid 214 points215 points  (22 children)

Holy Fuck! It's going to be hard for him to blend in when he flys with his mom to the compound in Estonia.

[–]snbrd512 222 points223 points  (159 children)

Lol he did that in 2016

[–]burnsalot603 870 points871 points  (157 children)

I'm still convinced that they were getting divorced as soon as the election campaign was over. He was using the campaign as publicity to start his own version of keeping up with the Kardashians but then he won. There's a picture of him in a room full of people when they announced he won and everyone is cheering except trump who is just blankly staring at the tv.

Melania clearly wanted nothing to do with it since she didn't even move into the White House for 5 months and I'm pretty sure she only did that because they renegotiated the prenup and she will get a lot more (or thought she would) when they get divorced as soon as he leaves office.

Edit- the picture was a screen grab of the end of this video, https://youtu.be/Z3868qotZ_A

[–]sbarto 221 points222 points  (13 children)

Rumor has it that she was renegotiating her prenup.

[–]pecklepuff 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Where do ex-spouses fall in the bankruptcy creditor list? I'm guessing pretty low? I suspect Melania may think she's been had.

[–]Muzzie720 343 points344 points  (34 children)

Im telling you I've said it for years, i swear she has like a contract with him that while he's president she won't divorce him since that stormy scandal and that she's gonna file shortly after and get money for staying.

[–]ass_hamster 93 points94 points  (11 children)

He'll never pay.

[–]Snatch_Pastry 100 points101 points  (7 children)

If she didn't set up a separate block of money that he literally couldn't touch without her permission, then she deserves to get nothing. She knows what a fucking piece of shit this guy is financially, so if her lawyers didn't take the right precautions, then she'll end up with what she actually deserves.

[–]beka13 163 points164 points  (35 children)

She'll probably "write" a book about it. Likely full of lies and certainly sued by trump before publication.

[–]nhdw 6102 points6103 points 212753& 28 more (104 children)

Found this little gem on twitter.. https://twitter.com/i/status/1348302247889874945 🤣

[–]jackwrangler 1277 points1278 points  (8 children)

That little moment of quiet at the end 👌🏽

[–]ChoochChyme 964 points965 points  (2 children)

The “Wait, just one second” was timed perfectly.

[–]FluffySpork 817 points818 points  (44 children)

Gold

[–]toothbrush7 228 points229 points  (26 children)

Man I wish it was that simple to be guilded

[–]jerryleebee 81 points82 points 4 (13 children)

I just want a wholesome seal of approval.

Edit: I'm so happy.

[–]uberblack 49 points50 points  (1 child)

I almost woke up my wife and kid laughing at this lol

[–]adubdubdubImalright 705 points706 points  (30 children)

Imagine passing Trump on the highway driving erratically in a Penske truck

[–]saunterasmas 10.3k points10.3k points  (322 children)

Having paid for moving boxes before, those two pallets are like 20% of his net worth.

[–]IMovedYourCheese 5418 points5419 points  (144 children)

Bold to assume he's going to pay for it

[–]thargoallmysecrets 2306 points2307 points  (119 children)

Taxpayers

[–]Okeyebrows 2385 points2386 points 4 (95 children)

Mexico

[–]its_all_4_lulz 1691 points1692 points 22 (73 children)

I’m building a cardboard fort, and Mexico is paying for it.

[–]sucobe 261 points262 points  (36 children)

From the journal of Sergeant Major Franklin Courell

“We never thought we would get this far. Like, one big sick twisted parallel universe we’ve fallen into. A South Park episode.

When we overtook the south lawn of the White House, we came across a mass grave. Nothing but a sea of red, not from the blood, but from the flags, shirts and hats.

We linked up with 8th & I on the northern lawn to await orders from our intel on the inside, undercover CIA posing as a Verizon saleswoman. The idiot thought if he sneakily bought a new phone, he could tweet again. It couldn’t get any worse than this. This is what we’ve come to as a democracy?

We got word the inside was cleared. Granted, we were a bit taken aback when the front door was casually opened to us as if to invite us in. The place was an absolute mess. It smelled like mold and feces, a dead rat in the corner as two housemaids were smoking, not phased by us.

We reached the presidents living quarters on the second floor, greeted by Commanding Officer Park. a slight “casualness” to him. He opened the door and what I saw will forever haunt me until the day I die.

A cardboard fort. The son of a bitch really did it. He had a cardboard fort. This is what the Proud Boys on the south lawn died for? Almost half a million souls to covid? 4 on the January 6th capitol siege?

May god have mercy on our democracy. I pray we wake from this nightmare.”

[–]Krojack76 95 points96 points  (8 children)

I'm ok pitchin in to help pay for those boxes if it gets him out of there sooner.

[–]RogueKnightZ 411 points412 points  (14 children)

I'm pretty sure he didn't have to pay for those boxes. They were probably donated by others to help speed along his moving out.

[–]Silo-Joe[🍰] 128 points129 points  (5 children)

They have pre-paid postage for Russia and handy folders for state secrets. :(

[–]Lost-My-Mind- 218 points219 points  (57 children)

Dude.......just go to the grocery store. They give them away for free.

[–]kirkum2020 36 points37 points  (4 children)

I bought some for my last move because lockdown made this route impossible and I'm not sure I can go back.

Moving is already stressful enough. Having strong boxes of the same size that all stack nicely and come with blank panels for easy marking was such a luxury.

[–]tentmcclurg 2178 points2179 points  (68 children)

He's going to take every fucking pen, 100%

[–]LakeStLouis 762 points763 points  (32 children)

He's going to take every fucking pen Sharpie, 100%

Mere pens aren't grandiose enough for him.

[–]NotObviouslyARobot 662 points663 points  (34 children)

Nice. Anyone who's ever moved will tell you the hardest part is packing shit up first.

Protip: Use the smallest moving boxes you can, as often as you can. There is absolutely no sense in filling a box so full of stuff that you can't lift it.

Edit: Also, if you have lots of heavy things, rent a truck with a lift gate instead of doing suicidal trips up and down a ramp

[–]_EmmyNoether_ 4289 points4290 points 2 (219 children)

Poor Biden. Imagine having to sleep in the same bedroom where Melania gave Trump one sad handjob in the past 4 years.

[–]kin_of_rumplefor 244 points245 points  (5 children)

Home girl be swatting away his hand constantly. No way she’s touching his cheeto worm

[–]emgyres 163 points164 points  (6 children)

You have to assume they have burnt the mattress, replaced all the toilets, smudged a field of sage and performed an exorcism.

[–]i_suckatjavascript 1643 points1644 points  (142 children)

And yet the Republicans still went crazy to impeach Bill Clinton over a blowjob but not the orange turd that caused the US Capital raid

[–]_EmmyNoether_ 1717 points1718 points  (120 children)

To be fair, he lied about it under oath. To be more fair, republicans think that’s worse than trying to get your opposition killed. 🤷‍♂️

[–]i_suckatjavascript 590 points591 points  (70 children)

Trump lied so many times, did he not?

[–]BillyAstro 685 points686 points  (56 children)

Unfortunately, Trump would never talk under oath.

[–]InformalWafer5 2261 points2262 points  (436 children)

Why so many boxes? The WH is furnished, right. So what else would you have to move other than personal items like clothes shoes etc

[–]pixel_of_moral_decay 2553 points2554 points 484 (125 children)

There's a lot in the White House collection + sometimes presidents get loaned stuff + personal items.

For example there's several possible desks in the Oval Office, in modern times (since Bush Sr. I think) it's always been the Resolute desk, but there's several desks in the collection. Biden gets to pick what he wants. The rest go into the study, or storage, or a museum.

There's also lots of furniture/art which Jill Biden as First Lady will generally work with the White House on selecting what they want to do. It's partially functional, it's partially a statement. They'll pick stuff (here's some of Obama's) that represent the aspirations of the Biden presidency. I'd expect something representing his upbringing, trains, etc. etc. Some picked because of the artist, represent diversity, etc. etc.

The stuff they don't pick goes back to the museums or storage depending on its origin.

Then there's all the personal items. Michelle Obama shed some insight on how that works. Prior to taking office the First Lady spends a day pretty much being interviewed about what the family wants/needs so it can be kept at the ready. Dietary concerns, menu considerations, eating habits, etc. Do you like eggs in the morning? Only on Sundays? Whole wheat or white bread? Cereal? Which ones? Oatmeal? What in it?Vegetables you like/hate so the chief has an idea what to procure and work with? No broccoli? Yes to asparagus? Toilet paper preference? Toothpaste preference? What brand moisturizer do you like? Pants size? Suit size? Boxers or briefs, hair products? etc. etc. into insane detail.

It's not like they can take a quick trip to the mall to do some shopping, or even groceries. So the staff needs to know what to keep on hand, and not bother them for the next several months with every stupid detail. You don't want to keep interrupting the president during a security briefing because you don't know his shoe size.

The whole idea is the president can focus on the job, and everything else household wise just magically happens for them.

Fun fact: the move on inauguration day is actually insanely choreographed so that the outgoing president feels at home until the last minute, and by the time the incoming president comes back from the inauguration parties, the White House is 100% ready. If you think about the logistics behind that, it's insane.

This is all tradition and part of the President symbolically making their mark, and the "smooth transition of power".

Edit: added a few links.

Edit 2: This is also the case for much of the staff. Once Biden swears in at noon, a bunch of people working until the last second stop, and a bunch of new people are now on the job. Not everyone goes to the party, many will go right to the office and pickup the job. Seamless transition, or as close to it as possible.

[–]dennis1312 620 points621 points  (33 children)

I'd love any suggested articles to read about WH housekeeping (White Housekeeping?)!

[–]okntx 367 points368 points  (12 children)

The White House Historical Association has a podcast that has an episode or two about this topic. They give a lot of behind the scenes info about the moving process.

Edit: Sorry, I should have been more specific and included the actual podcast name. Like others said, it’s “The 1600 Sessions”. In addition to an episode or two specifically about the transition, there’s also an episode about the decorator who helped the Obamas update the living area for their family, including the paintings which someone had also talked about in an earlier post.

https://www.whitehousehistory.org/1600-sessions

[–]Fartin_LutherKing 537 points538 points  (24 children)

furniture/art which Jill Biden as First Lady will generally work with the White House on selecting what they want to do

Wait, so if Hillary won Bill would've got to decorate the white house? Oh man...we could've had a First Mancave with a kickass bar and a stripper pole in it. Damn you Republicans!

[–]pixel_of_moral_decay 188 points189 points  (8 children)

There's a curator and a whole committee you work with. I don't think Presidents have too much latitude in terms of what they can do. The White House is also a historic site/museum.

I presume it's like a menu and they guide you through your choices/preferences.

[–]montanagrizfan 1336 points1337 points  (222 children)

I thought that too, but then I figured they are probably for all his staff and cabinet so they can box up any papers and things that need to be stored and also box up any personal item for removal. Probably a normal part of any administration change, this one just makes us gleefully happy.

[–]manberry_sauce 33 points34 points  (1 child)

this one just makes us gleefully happy.

It's like reverse-Christmas, getting excited about things going into boxes!!

[–]InformalWafer5 683 points684 points  (210 children)

Don’t criminals usually shred their papers instead of storing them?

[–]verdatum 962 points963 points  (191 children)

Trump got in trouble for being in the habit of tearing up everything after he's looked at it, which was in violation of the presidential records act. After failing to get him to stop, they set up an office entirely tasked with taking the crumbled torn up papers and putting them back together.

[–]Parastormer 541 points542 points  (118 children)

Is that real because holy shit.

[–]verdatum 613 points614 points  (86 children)

[–]DukeOfGeek 265 points266 points  (6 children)

Whenever I read about him I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[–]VasyaK 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Same, friend. I had this thought today. I’m going to be certifiably nuts by the end of all of this (Haha, I’m naively expecting an ending).

[–]manberry_sauce 518 points519 points  (31 children)

Even though the papers wound up being preserved, he was actively trying to destroy the documents. At best this was willfully wasteful of government resources.

What a fucking asshole. I'd like to see him in a pillory.

[–]the_dude_upvotes 276 points277 points  (10 children)

Instead, they chose to clean it up for him, in order to make sure that the president wasn’t violating the law.

My main takeaway from this is he should have been impeached at least as early as 2018. Law and order my ass.

[–]raouldukesaccomplice 184 points185 points  (17 children)

At least one staffer claimed she once saw him eat a handwritten note so it wouldn't be discovered by anyone else.

[–]Parastormer 75 points76 points  (6 children)

I just had to do the ugly laugh... imagine you stick to your habits so hard you have to eat a damn note because else someone would fizzle around you with a little dustpan and collect the pieces.

Any eye contact between these two must have been ultra awkward at that moment

[–]Lost-My-Mind- 236 points237 points  (20 children)

Ok, first time, ok. Second time, they should be annoyed, but ok. Third time they should have seen a pattern. Fourth time, don't even bring him the original. Bring him a copy. Let him tear that up. From then on, trump never touches the original.

Why is this hard?

[–]BathAndBodyWrks 191 points192 points  (8 children)

Laminate it.

[–]FrenchFriedMushroom 113 points114 points  (2 children)

Id watch a 45 min CCTV clip of Trump trying to tear up a laminated sheet.

[–]icematt12 57 points58 points  (1 child)

If he writes on something then that needs to be what they keep. That's the most logical reason to me. Or just digitise everything then create a hard copy for the records.

[–]CriesOverEverything 118 points119 points  (8 children)

To be fair, if I, poor asshole with furniture all valuing less than $500 combined, were asked to move into the White House, I'd still take a few things. I have a few nostalgia items and a chair or two that I feel are irreplaceable.

The White House staff, a good portion of who are probably being asked to find new jobs also probably have items of theirs at the White House.

[–]mgweir 13.5k points13.5k points 22 (547 children)

I hope somebody inventoried all the silver and china that belongs to the White House. They better count the towels too.

[–]namastayrighthere 12.8k points12.8k points 575862& 28 more (203 children)

Chi-na

[–]frizbplaya 1829 points1830 points  (99 children)

I wheezed at that one.

[–]befuchs 441 points442 points  (84 children)

There needs to be an onomatopei for this action of quick exhalation (normally thru the nasal passages) at funny content.

[–]proxyproxyomega 371 points372 points  (15 children)

Gy-naa

[–]Cornandhamtastegood 131 points132 points  (9 children)

That’s what his neck looks like

[–]onepinksheep 71 points72 points  (3 children)

And his mouth looks like an anus, so I guess that makes his chin the taint.

[–]IMovedYourCheese 899 points900 points  (90 children)

And the artwork. Grifters love those.

[–]eugene20 696 points697 points  (85 children)

[–]Telzey 214 points215 points  (11 children)

“20th century fakes of wannabe 17th century sculptures,” and of little value.”

Of course it would resonate with him.

[–]zystyl 245 points246 points  (7 children)

Donald Trump has been doling out diamond cuff links to unsuspecting pals as presents — but they’re actually fabulous fakes, sources say. At least three recipients later learned that the glittery gifts were valuable only as mementos from Trump. Actor Charlie Sheen recently called out The Donald for the ruse, saying Trump once gave him his own cuff links as a wedding present and boasted that they came from one of the city’s leading jewelers.

“He says . . . ‘I want to give you an early wedding gift as a gesture from me and Melania’ — and she doesn’t say a word, she’s very sweet and very pretty but just kinda sits there,” Sheen told the BBC, referring to a time he ran into Trump and his wife in a restaurant about five years ago. “He says, ‘These are platinum diamond Harry Winston,’ and he pulls off his cuff links, and he gives them to me.”The actor said he took the links to an appraiser six months later, only to learn that they were worthless.

“She took [her magnifying] loupe, spent about 4 seconds and kind of recoiled from it,” Sheen quipped. “She says, ‘In their finest moment, Trump gave Cohn a pair of “diamond-encrusted’’ cuff links and buttons in a box from famed jeweler Bulgari as a present, said the New York Times. Cohn’s partner, Peter Fraser, who inherited the items, said he later had them appraised, and they turned out to be knock-offs.

A Trump source told The Post on Tuesday that after The Donald engaged in a fake ringside take-down of wrestling honcho Vince McMahon in 2007, he griped to the promoter that he lost one of his “Trump-stamped’’ cuff links worth $50,000. The source said the links were actually valued at less than $100. But “that’s just Donald. It’s just very Donald,” said the insider, who heard the mogul tell the story. Trump markets his own line of cuff links through his “Donald J. Trump Signature Collection’’ that are made of metal in China and go for as little as $39.99

https://nypost.com/2016/06/21/trump-has-been-giving-out-fake-diamond-cuff-links-for-years/

Charlie Sheen says his tale on Graham Norton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp6BIDCZRic

[–]AlbertZhuFG 378 points379 points  (12 children)

I read that whole article. He couldn’t even spot good art to bring back stateside. The portrait is a copy, the original of which is right in the National Gallery, and WH art curators ended up borrowing the original from the National Gallery, cuz it’d just be awkward otherwise, I guess. Then the bust and the figurines were also replicas. These pieces are like the perfect metaphor for Trump: someone who pretends to be something greater and falls embarrassingly short since people know who he truly is

EDIT: as many have pointed out, the figurines are forgeries

[–]Malgas 164 points165 points  (7 children)

the figurines were also replicas

Better: The figurines were forgeries.

Old enough to be antiques in their own right by now, granted, but nevertheless the original artist intended to pass them off as antiques when they were new.

[–]mtaw 26 points27 points  (2 children)

[–]Dharma101 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I don’t think Trump’s understanding of “real” and “fake” are the same as most people.

[–]waystedone 139 points140 points  (44 children)

I just mentioned this artwork to my wife when Biden took the victory, I bet he takes it all!

[–]nhincompoop 509 points510 points  (63 children)

During the Capitol terrorist attack, Melania was overseeing a photo shoot at the White House featuring "rugs and other items," per a person familiar.

Someone check the Kijiji listings in the DC area.

[–]YepThatLooksInfected 196 points197 points  (53 children)

I hope they clear out all of those tiki torches.

[–]e22ddie46 194 points195 points  (47 children)

They also need to de-covid the place and get rid of the rats

[–]CookieMonsterFarts 128 points129 points  (27 children)

Regular rat traps are too small. They're going to need a really large box with a stick to prop it up and whole lot of cheeseburgers.

Edit: *hamburders in a hyuuuhge box, the biggest - really the best - box only the best

Edit-edit:👐

[–]Msalex351 44 points45 points  (18 children)

Maybe find Steven Miller while they’re at it?

[–]Successful-Basket 388 points389 points  (1 child)

Dear White House Movers: Ask for the money up front.

  • Conan O’Brien

[–]ravbuc 696 points697 points  (25 children)

I hope a photographer gets a good shot of them removing the spray tan machine.

They did a good job hiding it when they moved it in.

[–]VenConmigo 154 points155 points  (11 children)

I want to know what his TV set up is like where he watches CNN, Fox News, OAN and re-runs of the original Law & Order.

[–]Melgitat_Shujaa 83 points84 points  (3 children)

6 gold plated 50" tv's on a curved mount with a lazy boy recliner in the middle with questionable stains.

[–]FinnsterBaby 9146 points9147 points 2222& 4 more (131 children)

I don’t know if all of that is going to fit into a prison cell

[–]mayihaveatomato 644 points645 points  (23 children)

They’re probably Trojan horses full of drooling , rolling coal red necks charged with dismantling the WH security systems. ‘Murica 2021 Ep. 1 airs Jan 17, 2021

[–]thisguydan 528 points529 points  (6 children)

[–]ShiftedLobster 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This thread is filled with some hilarious content!!

[–]Ragnangar 190 points191 points  (4 children)

The huge one labelled “Fragile” is for his ego.

[–]ptraugot 975 points976 points  (54 children)

Wonder how much the family Is going to steal.

[–]incog_nico 953 points954 points  (18 children)

I mean, they tried to steal democracy, so probably a lot.

[–]MinimalDysfunction 191 points192 points  (8 children)

Exactly. Someone better count the spoons once the hillbillies leave.

[–]Parastormer 120 points121 points  (3 children)

I'm more worried about the state gifts that are on display in the WH.

The rest of the world didn't part with them to be stolen.

[–]Whatmeworry4 299 points300 points  (24 children)

It’s a shame he had to hire movers. I’m sure we could have rounded up a few million volunteers to help him out the door.

[–]Orion2350 120 points121 points  (7 children)

I'm imagining everyone grabbing one box and one item a piece and having him packed up in like 10 minutes, so whoever he has to unpack all of his shit has to it one item at a time

[–]BigShoots 99 points100 points  (2 children)

I hear his supporters are pretty fond of marching into federal buildings and taking souvenirs though, so you'd have to vet those volunteers pretty carefully.

[–]Sl1mj3t 688 points689 points  (72 children)

They are going to have to deep clean every inch of that place . Get whole new mattresses sheets curtains everything.

[–]Robochumpp 339 points340 points  (4 children)

Imagine the streaks of orange all over the pillowcases.

[–]i-c-u-p-p 170 points171 points  (12 children)

The cleaning process they do after each move and to prep it for the incoming president is really amazing. My kids watched a short documentary about it. It's really very organized and takes a lot of staff.

[–]hotrock3 100 points101 points  (9 children)

You can't leave us hanging like that! What's the documentary called?!

[–]KCC-Youtube 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Ooooh I want to see this too

[–]John_Denvers_Head 360 points361 points  (12 children)

And burn sage. Be sure to get the corners.

[–]FrenchFriedMushroom 156 points157 points  (6 children)

"I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me--"

BITCH, you're married to a Nazi who attempted to usurp the presidency of the United States via special needs special forces.

Pack up your "Precious Moments" ceramics, sit down, and shut the fuck up.

[–]davisdilf 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Boxes of native soil arriving for Jared Kushner

[–]wubwub 325 points326 points  (7 children)

What a heartwarming and happy picture.

[–]TyroneTeabaggington 91 points92 points  (2 children)

Why boxes? Just get him some garbage bags.