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[–]Cheshire1001 639 points640 points  (23 children)

Don't expose yourself to new information about her, so your mind can process what it already has in its backlog. Eventually, you'll notice you didn't think of her all day. After a while longer it will be a few days. Then, finally it fades. The key is not to feed it.

[–]membershipreward 138 points139 points  (0 children)

I’ve gone through many many breakups in my life. This is the only thing that works, op.

[–]Zshelley 43 points44 points  (0 children)

The other posters are right, but the is the correct advice - the only advice - for grief. I'm sorry OP. Eventually it will fade and there will be more of you than there is of the pain. Hang in there <3

[–]spaced_drakarde 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Nothing was better for my sanity a few years ago when I finally dumped Zuckerberg's trash fire for good.

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

[–]tiddertodmoc 15 points16 points  (3 children)

This is it right here. My girlfriend of two years just left me for a very wealthy man and got engaged to him all in the span on a month. This is what I'm doing.

[–]misterguyyy 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Blockity block block muthablocka

[–]_BearHawkBane 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yep. Remove off everything. Even the little things, like if you added each other on Venmo or whatever. It sounds stupid, but if you accidentally see them interacting with the new person it is a gut punch you never wanted.

And tell your friends to not give you any updates on her whatsoever. They don’t have to unfollow her or whatever, but they just can’t tell you anything about her.

Best of luck OP

[–]JagmeetSingh2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yea definitely block her on all social media

[–]vdgg71 14.5k points14.5k points 4832& 7 more (634 children)

You’re not a loser. As much as it might hurt, the fact she left you so quick and started dating another guy means you dodged a bullet. Give yourself some time to grieve and process this, but this isn’t a you thing, it’s her thing

[–]Vertigo-21 4688 points4689 points 2 (519 children)

Thank you for this. I can't help but to compare myself to him, and this shit hurts ... I come from a poor family, and I'm working my ass off but I'm a long way from being as well of as that guy..

[–]2W_Clarence 3890 points3891 points 2 (136 children)

Ya, most people aren’t even out of college at 21. That guy doesn’t own 2 startups, his parents own 2 start ups. Her leaving the way she did, especially as a 19 year old, says a lot about who she is deep down.

[–]lovestheasianladies 398 points399 points  (30 children)

Anyone can "own" a startup anyways. It's a meaningless title for a tiny company. Literally anything can be a startup.

[–]TheS4ndm4n 318 points319 points  (25 children)

Usually code for "doesn't make a profit yet"

[–]shakeitup2017 204 points205 points  (14 children)

And usually also code for "bankrolled by the bank of mommy and daddy" - more like a rich kid's university project than a real company.

[–]Wind_Yer_Neck_In 79 points80 points  (0 children)

The greatest predictor of entrepreneurship is existing access to funds and a safety net so that failure of the company isn't personally damaging.

That's not to say there aren't a lot of people who go all in on their dreams. Its just a lot easier when you already didn't have to work to survive.

[–]JustheT1p 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Well, Greeks are almost the best at hustling girls with half truths or straight up lying just to get them to bed a few times

Source: I am Greek I should know

[–]tacohippo 20 points21 points  (8 children)

I've dated enough greek guys to know this is 100% true. Then they make you feel crazy afterwards too. Never dating a greek dude again.

Source: I am Greek. I should know

[–]JustheT1p 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Hey gorgeous, wanna go for a ride with my brand new 200hp car that I just borrowed from a friend to impress you?

[–]tacohippo 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Ohhh yeahhh make sure you layer that hair gel on. I cant wait to watch you rip 20 cigarettes in 5 mins and pick your teeth with your long pinky fingernail. Opa!

[–]ask_me_about_cats 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel personally attacked!

Source: One man part-time game development studio.

[–]limpingdba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And "having to work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week" aka "rockstar <job title>".

[–]MikeLinPA 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A lemonade stand.

[–]RoryJSK 3540 points3541 points 342 (76 children)

She'll likely be dropped for the next pretty gold diggin girl to come along, anyway.

[–]Morkamino_Bones 1969 points1970 points  (33 children)

Yes, and if that happens, do NOT take her back.

[–]Walking-HR-Violation 1135 points1136 points  (22 children)

When..

[–]n0tresp0nd1ng 123 points124 points  (16 children)

As a person who was in trouble with HR 4 times in my last job, I am very impressed.

[–]blippityblopflop 45 points46 points  (15 children)

What did you do?

[–]ur-mas-left-one 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Co worker said her husband was born on a leap year which means "he's only 6!!". So I called her a paedo and she put a complaint in

[–]dontlikecomputers 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I did the same, sick bitch rooting a 5 year old!

[–]n0tresp0nd1ng 70 points71 points  (9 children)

Nothing bad. A co worker and I got close but she kept going back and forth about moving forward.. when she was ready I friend zoned her and she tried getting me in trouble all these diff times. I had to show text evidence to show why I said what I did, which was in response to something horrible she said right before... for example she’d say some guy had big feet must have a big dong. I said stop whoring around my desk via text and she went to HR lol.. but I got cleared when they saw what she said... very convenient select text showing to them. We made up after she left the company.

[–]subcinco 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a nice healthy relationship

[–]soapgene 35 points36 points  (6 children)

you made up ... after she falsely accused you of sexual harassment ... while jeopardizing your career?

[–]Mysterious-Gazelle89 262 points263 points  (1 child)

Thank you for your name. I’m laughing now :)

[–]MightStayMightNot1 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sounds like it's all about control with this girl. She doesn't want you. She wants to be wanted and is incredibly materialistic.

You need a girl who will be with you through good and bad times. This girl is only gonna be with a guy through good times and the kind of guys she's gonna go after know what she is.

You forget about her. Delete her numbers and any other way of contacting her. You should also block her on any and all social media. Move on. She wasn't who you thought and count your blessings you didn't find this out after being married or something. Though it will be hard you will get over it with time. Good luck to you.

[–]slangwitch 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Which is why she kept dangling a carrot with OP by saying manipulative stuff like "let's be together again in a year" etc. She's kept him around as a backup until rich guy seemed more likely to work out. It's just plain cruel. This is also the type of person who gets back in touch five years after totally destroying you because they just got dumped by the other person and think that you're going to pick them right back up like nothing happened whenever it's most convenient for them. Narcissistic behaviors.

[–]Kuwuii 37 points38 points  (10 children)

It would be funny but fucked up in OPs situation if Reddit’s hive mind predictions about the other dude are wrong and he actually worked really hard for his two startups and he actually loves this new girl he met in Greece.

[–]brown59fifty 41 points42 points  (6 children)

Everything is possible. However if that dude would be actually so great then he wouldn't be pursuing girl already in relationship.

[–]Rendi9000 46 points47 points  (3 children)

What if the dude doesn’t know? He just thinks this great new girl is single and available. This girl has been playing both sides.

Then the dude finally knows and shows up to apologize to OP, they click right off the bat and bam OP and rich guy is engaged while gold digger 19 year old is left in the dust

/s

[–]fjbalage 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes "pursuing" someone is just talking and talking and enjoying time spent together. And in a certain moment, all this changes. Don't judge, lest you be in the shoes of the judgee one day.

[–]Marston_vc 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I would suggest that it’s a product of her young age that made her think making such a quick decision was the right move. But also, 2 years of commitment down the drain means she hadn’t been feeling that connected for at least a while.

[–]MountainParadiseTypical 1/2 German, 1/2 Japanese Male 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, but in fairness, 19 year olds aren’t exactly paragons of decision making lol

[–]FireWoman89 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Agreed!

[–]cactusboohoo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it says she’s 19. Still a kid making kid decisions.

[–]Corporation_tshirt 196 points197 points  (10 children)

There’s no worse kind of violence you can commit against yourself than to compare yourself to somebody else.

[–]vdgg71 751 points752 points  (23 children)

I completely understand. From your background versus his own, just know whatever you accomplish is 100 times more impressive than him, and you should be proud of yourself!

[–]bizcombobulate90 246 points247 points  (7 children)

I second this! I came from the poor family as well and went through a heartbreak at age 25. I didn't have my crap together at that time but i was well on my way to it! Now, looking back, I'm flipping proud of myself!

[–]nifty_mick 91 points92 points  (6 children)

I third this! I come from a poor background, one parent was a filing clerk and my other parent worked two jobs at fast-food restaurants. I couldnt read or write at the age of 8. I hustled, worked and studied my ass off and had a heart break when I was 28. My world completely turned upside down and fell apart. But because of the hardship I've endured throughout my life, I bounced back because I'm resilient and put kintsugi on my shatter breaks. I'm on top of my career, Ive been dating stunning woman who're emotionally matured and life is fun for me. I'm super proud of myself when I look back. It's going to hurt now, but this hardship/pain is going to make you a better man in the future. Trust me.

[–]Pandalite 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I fourth what everyone's saying, losing a girl who throws someone over in two days is just losing 100+ lbs of dead weight. You don't want to be tied to someone like that.

[–]letterbeepiece 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I bounced back because I'm resilient and put kintsugi on my shatter breaks.

ooh, i like my man knowing urushi... :D

[–]UsernameStarvation 30 points31 points  (12 children)

Well lets not dog pile on the guy. Its girl whos an ass

[–]vdgg71 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Didn’t mean to shit on the guy, just saying OP should be proud of whatever he accomplishes and to not compare himself to him

[–]ebmnm 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Firstly dont compare yourself to anyone else this is your life you battle no one elses. You may think hes way better for her for whatever reason but just know money doesnt mean much he has probly struggled half as hard as you. You are far from your prime buddy just pick yourself up and keep livin its your only option

[–]pm_me_your_pastaa 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hey man, the same thing happened to me when i was your age with my first relationship. I’m 23 now so only 2y have passed, but that shit still stings. I still have resentment and i still sometimes compare myself to him and every girl i date to her. So i have had to bail out of a few potential relationships to avoid hurting the girl.

Some advice/lessons learned from me is to just keep working on yourself, focus on where you want to be in 2 years and to never think about her ever. Do not linger on her. You will find your own path as everyone does and it will make you stronger. Find your focus, be it your hobby or your job or your friends, etc... for me it was my job. As a result, i can’t by any means claim to have my shit together, but my job is defo one of the things i’m proud of in terms of achievements. Just focus on yourself and block out everything else.

[–]DomoneroMale 183 points184 points  (25 children)

Also keep in mind if she meets another dude who’s slightly more successful than him, she will drop this guy as fast as she dropped you

She legit only loves the wallet & not the guy she’s actually dating man

That’s a big ass bullet dodged

[–]lotsoluckMale 112 points113 points  (11 children)

if she meets another dude who’s slightly more successful than him, she will drop this guy as fast as she dropped you

It might not even be that, it's easy to idealize strangers as being perfect then reject them once you get close enough to see their flaws. Some people spend their whole life chasing a fantasy. They're generally unhappy and miserable to be around.

[–]cosmicsans 33 points34 points  (1 child)

The best revenge is to live your best life.

[–]Fake_Photon 14 points15 points  (1 child)

It's not about being better at his game. It's about being the best at your game. You win by being better that who you we're yesterday.

In the words of Rainer

Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final

[–]stuckInForLoop 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Man, i would say I was in a very similar situation s you at one point. I always felt inadequate in school and money.

To be dead ass serious with you. It’s going to fucking suck. She’s going to be in your head. Potentially forever. Remind yourself what she did. Remind yourself that the image you had in your head about her is not right. That’s okay too. Same Shit happened to me.

Fuck em. March to your own beat. Figure yourself out. Figure out where your morals are. Figure out what you find value in. Learn to love yourself. Do some shit you always wanted to do, but couldn’t for various reasons. Do not be afraid to go to therapy. Learn to make genuine connections with people. Learn that not all connections are forever, and not everyone is going to like you. Fuck em.

This is also a good time to begin rebuilding your potential career/school. Be honest with yourself. BRUTALLY honest. Even look for an outside opinion on your school work. Figure out where you are. Face the truth. When you do that, you can start to become the best version of yourself. A version that is always striving to be better.

You got this king

[–]doggiedigit 51 points52 points  (1 child)

It's nothing to do with that guy. The issue here is that the girl would flip that easily. She was always going to. Imagine it had happened in eight years when you were married? Nothing to do with you, the guy, or the comparison of your situation to his. The girl has a fatal flaw. You got the inoculation version of it: maybe this new guy will lose half his fortune to her one day.

[–]SheriffHarrah 25 points26 points  (1 child)

The skills and traits you have/ will have due to the utter grind to get into the same “class” as the other guy are WAY more valuable than possessions. You’ll have grit, tenacity, perseverance, hard work-ethic, a never quitting mindset, and an appreciation for where you are and how you got there. Don’t ever compare yourself to someone who gets everything handed to them on a silver platter. Don’t give up man, look ahead and focus on yourself for now. She was not worth your time if she left you that fast for another dude. That’s not love. That’s a “what’s best for me” mentality. Selfish and absorbing.

[–]trynotobevil 11 points12 points  (0 children)

wonderfully stated! money can be lost but STRONG CHARACTER is at your core--the ability to make your own path in life can't ever be taken.

[–]zxDanKwan 60 points61 points  (8 children)

Don’t be jealous of someone who was born on third base and believes he’s already hit a home run.

These types of people are either extremely narcissistic and selfish or they’re absolutely lost in devotion to chasing their almighty dollar. Neither one of these makes for a good partner.

Keep focusing on developing your own skills and abilities, your own morals and beliefs, and you may find you’re not even playing the same sport any longer, let alone in the same ballpark.

[–]I_AM_TEDDY_SPAGHETTI 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Lol what? We know nothing about the other guy other than he was born into a rich family. You’re doing a whole lot of projecting based off almost nothing.

[–]ABathingSnape_ 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Why are we shitting on the other guy? For all we know he’s a saint. It’s the girl who’s the problem.

[–]djslurk 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Because we're all subconsciously a little jealous of his money.
We're all prone to it whether we realize it or not.

[–]Blueccaadd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Comparison is the thief of joy, stop comparing yourself to other people, what's yours is set aside. Do not let this destroy you, the best revenge is to succeed despite all the hurdles.

[–]PeriodicallyATableSup Bud? 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This guy might be "well off", but it doesn't sound like he actually worked for anything he has. Your ex sounds incredibly shallow, and probably isn't the kind of girl most people want any way.

The end goal in life, imo, isn't to make as much money as you possibly can. Its to make enough money to get by doing the simple things you enjoy. I went to university, and left my field because I didn't think it was worth it in the end. I personally think I'm a lot more successful than many people making a lot more money than me.. but, your success is something only you can really measure, and depends on what you value

[–]MoChive 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm working my ass off

Never lose sight of where you came from and how hard you've worked to get where you are. Hold on to that motivation. There are women out there who are also doing the same, and I'd wager they're way less of a hypergamic flight risk than Miss "my family goes to greece" 19 y/o. Plus, I've experienced that most people I've met who've really worked hard for what they have tend to be more down to earth and genuinely caring. It stings like hell right now, but hold onto that feeling and use it to propel yourself forward. Like the others have said, you dodged a bullet. The best revenge is your own success. Hang in there my guy.

[–]LagoonRoom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't compare yourself to that guy by the sounds of it he hasn't worked nearly as hard as you have he was just dealt better cards at birth.... It's unfair, but that's life. Keep working hard on you, keep your focus on you and be the best version of yourself.

[–]Sta723Male 🇬🇷 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you understand how much of a favor she did for you. Like others have said you have so much life in front of you. Take it from someone a little older who had his heart crushed as well- I thank her all the time in my head still because I evolved from that shit.

You too will evolve and be more powerful and grateful than you could ever imagine. Be prepared to be upset and in pain, do not avoid those things as they are guiding you to better. It’s going to be hard for awhile.

You got this.

[–]woundupcanuck 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You working your ass off to achieve things will make you more proud and humble than him. A similar situation happened to my best bud. He got dumped after their trip to germany, she stayed there to date another dude. He took it hard but eventually moved on. Guess who came crawling back. He said fuck you. Now hes got a nice wife and 2 beautiful kids. Things happen for a reason. You indeed dodged a bullet.

[–]DCINVESTING 758 points759 points  (14 children)

Yeah dude, this. Honestly, she sounds like she’s got some shit to work out and you’re only 22. You’re young. Enjoy it. Go out, meet people, explore, and most importantly ENJOY IT. That girl is toxic. Run and don’t look back my friend!

[–]ILoveGreenEverythingProfessional Man 40 points41 points  (11 children)

She doesn’t have to work through anything. This is a reflection that, frankly, she’s a piece of shit. She’s looking to throw away a relationship for nothing.

She thinks she’s valuable and worth something, but she’s going to date for three weeks until this guy gets bored, then get dropped

[–]7at1blow 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's a possibility. If that happens, then he should not take her back.

[–]Hohohoju 44 points45 points  (3 children)

Also OP, he's not more successful, he just happens to have a rich family. That's not success.

If she's that shallow then it sounds like you dodged a bullet.

[–]7at1blow 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Yes. "Startup" is such a silly buzzword. If you want to see real businesses, then go to Chinatown.

[–]concernedad420 22 points23 points  (20 children)

I'm kind of going through a similar situation. How long should the grief persist and processing take? It's been over 3 weeks and I'm still hurting really bad

[–]-----1 23 points24 points  (0 children)

One day you will wake up and she won't be the first thing you think about, from then on it's way easier.

[–]NottyScotty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’ll vary person to person. Take as much time as you need. Focus on healing and improving yourself.

[–]wingedmonkeytrainer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I promise it gets better. Give it time.

[–]Spiffy_Dude 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Been about 3 weeks for me now too. I'm still really depressed and struggling. Feel free to dm me if you wanna talk. I might not have advice, but I can relate and I can listen.

[–]SD00002974 64 points65 points  (0 children)

This is meant for OP, but the last line of this reply nails it.

“This isn’t a you thing, it’s a her thing.” THIS. 100%. If she could just up and leave you after almost 2 years for a guy she met on a family vacation. She was never really into you in the first place. And that may sound like I’m taking a shot at you, but I promise you I am not.

Here is what’s going to happen my friend: she is enamored with all the money and “fancy”. But as soon as the next girl comes along that rich boy finds even the tiniest bit hotter, she’s out.

YOU are going to keep grinding away, because your building... you’re building that work ethic, building that hustle, building YOU. And you’re going to keep building and ALL this struggle will 100% be worth it. So some day in the near future you’re going to wake up, and have that self actualization where you look at your self in the mirror and say, “Fuck yeah THIS is who I am.

Meanwhile, girly is gonna be sad about captain fake-ass throwing her away and come back.

DO. NOT. DO. IT.

It’s going to hurt a little to say no, and you’re going to want to give in at some level. But ALL that work you’re doing is NOT so you can go backwards.

I promise you this is not an ending, it is the new chapter you’re working for. I know because 10years ago I was you. Watching my girl run off the new CEO. Now I have an amazing wife and 2 daughters... she is still trying to chase a dream.

[–]Camd1n 55 points56 points  (2 children)

yeah you dodged a bullet for sure on this one. don't beat yourself up. money isent everything and its better finding out now instead of wasting more time in the relationship.

now in my experience of this situation, she called back 6 months later crying saying she made a mistake. dude cheated on her, beat the shit outa her in an olive garden parking lot and gave her the clap.

in the mean time, i met a girl from my friends dnd group. we hung out a bunch, started dateing, ten years later we are married. never woulda ended up meeting her if i was stuck in a relationship.

idk i think my point is, maybe don't think of this as your lost a girlfriend of 2 years and more as you have gained an opportunity to find a better partner ya?

[–]Fight_Forever_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow. I needed this. Thank you.

[–]samfeeds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

damn i needed this too, going thru something similar

[–]ConcreteBong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Anything that happens was eventually going to happen. Instead of being upset that she did that, be happy that it happened now and not 5 more years down the road.

[–]jbh01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So much this. You will look back at this years from now and laugh at what a shallow person you dodged!

[–]lilmixedvegan 2 points3 points  (2 children)

In a similar situation. What is the best way to grieve if you don’t have the space to do so? I work with him and his new gf.

[–]Dopecombatweasel 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Being with someone for 2 years aint really dodging the bullet.

[–]jorel424 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was just about to reply something along these lines. Still incredibly disappointing to be let down like this by someone you love. On the bright side 21 is really young and this is reminding me of the James Franco "first time?" meme

[–]Affectionate_Hornet7 2889 points2890 points  (30 children)

Count your blessings. You’re free now.

[–]MentalErection 804 points805 points 2 (24 children)

This is true. But OP you probably missed some red flags. I’m going to go against the grain here and offer you other advice. Take this pain and betrayal and use it as fuel. She likely won’t end up with that guy anyway. But you, use that time to build success. Use it as a motivating factor. What people in this sub won’t tell you is that success will open up many doors and women want successful men. You feel like a loser now? Well you’re young and got plenty of time to reach success. Do what you can to reach your highest level of success and this ex, she will rue the day she ever gave up on you. Best of all you’ll have someone better and more authentic in your life by then. Chin up mate.

[–]El_Aventurero 131 points132 points  (4 children)

I 100% agree with this comment OP. I was in your shoes around the same age you are now. Take this time to reflect on the relationship as a whole. I'd encourage you to make a list of 1. What you did well, 2. What you could've been better at, 3. What she did well that made you happy, and 4. What things about her weren't compatible with you.

It gets better man. Feel free to PM me any time.

[–]DM_ME_YOUR_DRAMA 33 points34 points  (3 children)

These lists are a great idea. I’ve also found it useful in past break ups to make a list of 5 things you didn’t like about the relationship, 5 things you did like about the relationship and then a list of how you’re going to give yourself the things that you did like.

For example, I didn’t like how selfish she was. I did like feeling close with someone. I’m going to give myself that by becoming closer with my friends and family.

[–]cdoon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Dude, this is exactly what I did when I was in an almost identical situation as OP and I’m so happy I did. Don’t see it as “well now I have to become that guy”, but see it as “well now I know she wasn’t patient enough to see me become the man I’m supposed to be.” And it led me to look deep into who I wanted to be and how I wanted to carry myself and now I’m more fulfilled than ever. So OP, don’t compare yourself, just continue you being you and you’ll get to where you need to be and will meet women who see the value in you being earnest

[–]tashnado 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I would add to this: while it's great to find money and a high-paying career, never let it become the source of your self-worth. Do it for your personal goals but don't seek out women who are seeking out wealth - the best girl for you is not the type of person who will leave you for someone who flashed money in her face.

[–]Chapped_Frenulum 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Haha, oh man. The older I get the more a breakup feels more like breaking out of Shawshank.

Doesn't really matter who left who, or why. The sooner you figure out what the deal is, the sooner you can get back to doing what you'd rather be doing with your time. Throwing all your extra effort down a bottomless pit and getting little to nothing back is too depressing.

[–]Affectionate_Hornet7 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lol I’m with you. 10 years ago, after a big breakup, my uncle said “ya know being a bachelor isn’t all that bad “ as he showed me around his tiny house.

Now I see his wisdom.

[–]Nyora- 1245 points1246 points  (33 children)

When I was 20 I was so worried about everyone else being ‘ahead of me’. Most of my friends were in relationships, better at school, earning more money. I felt left behind.

7 years later now. Literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON that was in a relationship then has broken up now. I have a very successful career and am financially stable. Two of the people that I thought were so much smarter than me are now at home with a burn out.

They probably feel like they’re left behind now and worry that I’m ahead of them. But where I am doesn’t matter.

You see: SO MUCH can change in a few years. Life’s a marathon. Not a sprint. If you focus on improving yourself, you’ll outrun everyone.

Also; fuck your ex girlfriend. Sounds like she didn’t appreciate you at all. You’ll find someone more compatible

[–]jonnyh1994 232 points233 points  (4 children)

SO MUCH can change in a few years. Life’s a marathon. Not a sprint. If you focus on improving yourself, you’ll outrun everyone.

I like that. Think I'll steal that phrase from you :)

[–]Nyora- 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Go ahead! You have my full permission

[–]ThatOneLad 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Holy fuck I really needed to read this tonight man. Thanks.

[–]jeanleray 10 points11 points  (2 children)

And maybe you won't "outrun" everyone. You don't have to keep up with the Joneses. Part of improving yourself is not worrying about everyone else.

[–]SavingsStrength0 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. Best part is not comparing myself to anyone and just doing my own thing. I love it

[–]ares395 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I didnt sign up for this, I don't even like running... I'd like to quit this marathon

[–]lightmaster2000 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thanks for this man. I’m 20 now and going through what you went through 7 years ago. I started working on improving myself about 2 months ago and I’m already seeing small results.

[–]SlimDirtyDizzyMale 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Same story man, had a mental breakdown at 20 because so many of my friends were in serious relationships and I was super alone.

Now 7 years later I make more money than any of my friends, lots of them got married young and had kids and still live in our college town. I got to have a few relationships to figure out what I wanted and who I was and now have a partner I see a real future with.

You set your own pace in life.

[–]DeusExMagikarpa 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I don’t know what “at home with a burnout” means, but if you’re talking about living with parents I’d like to promote the idea that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I believe there is something wrong with kicking your kids out at 18 to use their bootstraps. I was treated like this and for 10 years I struggled and have resentment towards my parents.

Currently I have a family, married with a kid, make more money than my parents and all that, and I will never make my feel kid feel like that. I know it wasn’t the point of your comment, but it really irks me, and I think Americans can benefit by appreciating other cultures that have different views towards family.

Also great job and good luck to your continued success and between you and me fuck OPs gf, but that’s probably not what he needs to hear right now.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

[–]Nyora- 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Ah no that’s not what I mean at all! Sorry, bit of a language barrier here. English is not my first language.

I mean they suffer from a burn out currently because they are overworked. They are unable to work so have been ‘at home’ for months in recovery. They don’t live with their parents.

Also my whole point is that there is NOTHING wrong with that.

They both feel like I’m the one that is ‘ahead’ now and they are falling behind. But I told them there is no such thing. 7 years from now everything will be completely different. They are only competing with their old self. Not me.

I’m not ahead of anyone. We’re all on our own journey.

Also I’m glad to hear you overcame the difficulties you described and completely agree with the point you made.

[–]asassyjanitor 98 points99 points  (6 children)

Whatever you do, don't do what I did and tried to drink it away. That left me as an alcoholic and took 6 years to get out of that hole after I found my fiance of 5 years with anothr dude.

You can and will recover from this. My best advice is to get back out there. Someone was attracted to you and someone else will be to. You're worth more than you know. You're still young and have plenty of time to kick ass out there.

You've got this. We all believe in you.

[–]ThatsNotPossibleMan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Extremely important comment. Slipping into alcoholism or other substance abuses is dangerously easy after an experience like this. Hope you're better off now mate.

[–]ceedes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s too easy to cope with drugs. I hear you on this.

[–]CloudsTasteGeometric 3203 points3204 points  (132 children)

If this dude "owns two startup companies" at age 22...and comes from a rich family?

That just means mommy and daddy bought them for him. Only a fool would think a guy like that is self-made at his age.

He isn't "more successful" than you - he's just richer and more privileged. Goes to show how shallow your ex really was.

[–]ze-incognito-burrito 545 points546 points  (58 children)

I was gunna say. Sounds like new guy is mommy and daddy’s most special little trust fund brat. Take pride in earning what you have.

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it sounds like this was no great loss.

[–]RyanBahr 280 points281 points  (22 children)

I was gunna say. Sounds like new guy is mommy and daddy’s most special little trust fund brat. Take pride in earning what you have.

The guy that we know nothing about did nothing. This is all on the girl. While yes, the 22M is likely privileged, we have absolutely no reason to believe the person is a brat just because they have wealth. 'Owning' two start ups means nothing. I ran into literally 'serial startup entrepreneurs' job titles that bought IP from my research lab to market towards larger companies with absolutely no clue in what technical aspect and that it would fail at an industrial level. Again, I'm not saying the guy is one of these, just that the title holds little weight without more details and that even if they are legit well off startups, inherited or otherwise, doesn't mean the person is a bad character, just living a different life.

[–]high_rise_fucking 67 points68 points  (16 children)

Thanks for commenting this. I also don't understand why some of them are bashing the other guy, we know absolutely nothing about him and it doesn't reflect well on the commenters.

[–]snazzymcgee123 62 points63 points  (11 children)

If there’s anything Reddit hates more than rich people, it’s rich peoples kids who get to enjoy their parents hard earned wealth. Some people are just more lucky than you, it’s not an easy pill to swallow

[–]SherbertBacon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because this is reddit and on reddit things have to be like a Mel Gibson movie where the bad guys are so evil you can’t even recognize them and the good guys are literally poet warrior national saviors.

(PS don’t shit on me Braveheart is in my top 5 movies)

[–]I_devour_your_pets 10 points11 points  (1 child)

OP is a 2 month old account with almost no posting history and suddenly he's on top of a major sub. You can bet some nice people have already tried to donate to him.

[–]donvito39 116 points117 points  (29 children)

I don't see the point of bashing the guy.

[–]7at1blow 84 points85 points  (20 children)

It is important for the OP that we flush out the oversized image he has of the guy.

[–]donvito39 49 points50 points  (15 children)

This is the only reason I can get behind. Literally.

[–]TAS-Throwaway 26 points27 points  (13 children)

This website is populated by human trash. They could never wrap their heads around someone with wealth actually earning it. Apparently the redditor is a flawless genius and anyone with more success was somehow gifted it unfairly.

And even if he did get a leg up, who are you to assume he's incompetent? Or that you're AKSHUALLY better than him and had the roles been reversed, you'd be doing as well too?

[–]donvito39 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Even all that considered, the other guy isn't part of the problem at all. If my girlfriend left me for someone else, which she won't because like a true Redditor I don't have one, that's on me or her. Not whoever she left me for.

[–]TAS-Throwaway 9 points10 points  (2 children)

There needs to be a disclaimer everytime you open reddit.com that shows a picture of a 200kg purple haired porn-addicted gamer saying, "this is who is giving you opinions"

[–]TheRealMichaelScoot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But why do we label the guy as a brat? I agree OP has dodged a bullet. But the guy could very well be the one who created those companies.

Listen OP, the guy hasn’t done anything to you. Don’t compare yourself to him. I would honestly just keep doing you. Get better at your craft and move on my dude.

[–]ArciusRhetus 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Exactly! At 22, no one knows shit about running a company, let alone two. Hell, most people haven't even figured out their career at this point. OP, one day you will realize you dodged a huge bullet there.

[–]enginegoes 28 points29 points  (0 children)

“Born on third, thinks he hit a triple...”

[–]Grinchypantz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Idk, who cares if this is true or not. I just want to say I saw the fact that op was still in college and trying to get your life started. Nothing wrong with that, keep going, its not a race. Nothing wrong with comparing to others, personally, I prefer when people compare themselves to set goals rather what you haven't accomplished yet.

[–]Sev3n 63 points64 points  (25 children)

If he's a 22 year old that's rich with two companies, we would've heard of him as it's probably the next Mark Zuckerberg.

It's just momma daddy money

[–]JimmyPD92 135 points136 points  (9 children)

Nah. Start up companies sounds way more impressive than it actually is. Likely just small online retail, clothing brand, digital service stuff. Companies like that can run at breaking-even or minor profit in the hope someone purchases it to integrate in to their own business.

But yeah, he's almost certainly propped up by parents money.

[–]spaced_drakarde 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Any dickhead with about $100 can register a "startup" in the US.

[–]tagged2high 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yeah, it's just a buzzword at this point (more so than in the past, anyway)

[–]spaced_drakarde 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Indeed, now it means "the next Apple" or whatever BS tech hype company from the Valley.

I guess we need a different term when you start something like...a carpet store.

[–]worlds_best_nothing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or he could just be in 2 mlms

[–]OnePieceTime 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Plenty of young folks have multiple companies, that doesn't mean they're successful. He could be making websites for local shops at student rates, sell t-shirts with his own shitty logo on it, his companies could simply be administrative entities that help him with taxes or perhaps they're those startups that only exist because the guy had an idea and decided to form a company before planning it out. I have my own company because internet with a persistent IP is only available for businesses where I live and I wanted to host a game server... Having a company is absolutely meaningless, doesn't say anything about your success and definitely doesn't mean you're the next Zuckerberg. That guy did a lot more to make Facebook successful than just start it.

[–]Relaxed-Ronin 35 points36 points  (8 children)

Exactly this. Trust fund babies are pseudo entrepreneurs - real entrepreneurship is riding on your idea with no safety blanket, with the funds you scraped together through other means. Carry yourself with pride and stay the course, material success is only a form of it - you can’t buy the feeling of achievement and hitting your personal goals.

[–]gingersson 32 points33 points  (6 children)

Hey man, I approve of the ideology but a grand majority of entrepreneurs come from families that can provide safety nets for them. In rare circumstances do people achieve greatness without a support network around them, and that’s okay. Something something “shoulders of giants”.

[–]OnePieceTime 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Even without a direct support network, there is always support. You can't be an entrepeneur today and don't use anything that other people have provided for you. We are all dependent on each other, none of us do this alone.

[–]__Beetle_Juice__ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yep, realized this when I wanted to make big risks but had no safety nets, so the idea of the fuck up overwhelms me.

I looked at all the wealthy people I know and they either had a lot of help in cash or a safety net from a family member.

[–]Particular_Bobcat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a dangerous attitude. Wherever you go, there will be people who are more successful than you in a legit way.

You just need to let it go. Count your blessing that she leaves earlier.

[–]SnooPies3969 1045 points1046 points  (29 children)

Man don't be too hard to yourself.

That girl didn't deserve you and your qualities and just chased the money. You now can for sure tell that she probably didn't love you for real.

Keep your focus on your education even tho you're struggling from time to time don't compare your life to someone else's life. Especially when the background is so different.

You're 21 you'll be fine and will have a good job and a loving person who truly is into you.

Take a little time off from dating and enjoy yourself and the things you like – value the time you don't have to waste on that girl anymore.

[–]Drake-From-StateFarm 95 points96 points  (5 children)

I would add that you should make sure not to let money become the thing you use to see your own value. It will become difficult not to see things as “more money = better partner” especially if you came from poor circumstances but that’s not how it works. So long as you keep a roof over your head and food on your table, money is just a thing that’s nice to have but means very little in the long run.

[–]fatjohnnybravo 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Guy coming from poor house here. Even though we're doing good rn I'm obsessed with money. Not a penny pincher but the idea that your money can increase without doing anything is absolutely empowering. Like the 100 buck you had is now 150 ? Jesus Christ it feels amazing. I think it was the reason I got in the stock market.

[–]nightopenedmyeyes 97 points98 points  (21 children)

That girl didn't deserve you and your qualities and just chased the money. You now can for sure tell that she probably didn't love you for real.

Or maybe she liked the other guy better? The learning lesson here isn't that OP is perfect, nor that his girlfriend was shallow and didn't deserve him. It certainly isn't that he will inevitably find a good job and a loving person.

It is that his self-worth shouldn't be based around others or financial concerns. People come and go, part of growing up is living with that, and accepting that it is not generally a consequence of flaws in yourself or others.

[–]TheBookOfSeil 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Ah, a breath of fresh air.

Sometimes I get tired of people trying to blow others up with talk of "you deserve better." I often think it's just projection because people would tell themselves that they would deserve better in the same situation.

[–]finger_milk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be fair, no matter how faulty of a person you are, you never deserve to be cheated on.

[–]seannemairi 43 points44 points  (2 children)

This is highly valuable and realistic advice. People try to make these things black and white, but it's just life. You're both young and still discovering who you are as individuals. Just allow yourself to grow and love who you are becoming and don't place so much value on how you want others to perceive you.

[–]nola_mike 57 points58 points  (6 children)

If she left you and is over you that quickly then she's been checked out of your relationship for a while.

It'll hurt, and you'll probably cry. The pain will get worse over time until finally you'll wake up and the pain will be gone. All you'll have left is the memories you made be they good or bad. Learn from this relationship and grow.

[–]Takiyah7 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Bruh this is like the only comment talking about her probably wanting to leave for a while. We don't have any information about the condition of their relationship prior to this trip, but everyone is bashing her and the guy.

I agree that we should lift OP up, but after any breakup some introspection must be done. He could learn some lessons that would prevent him from heartbreak in the future.

[–]GOWhead92 301 points302 points  (3 children)

Its hard to see when youre still in love but you didnt lose anything special man. Chances are shes going to leave him for someone else eventually as well. Youre 21 and she was 19 dude its not supposed to work at these ages for a reason youre still finding out and learning about yourself. Chances are you wont ever get “close” to becoming like this dude and why would you want to? To attract gold digging superficial girls?

You can value and respect yourself by not speaking to this girl ever again she already showed you what shes about and who she is.

[–]Stargazer1919 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Exactly. She sounds immature.

[–]drewsprocket 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Committ to your own happiness, every fucking day. Build into your life joy, fun, work towards goals. Let yourself feel your feelings about your ex but commit to letting her go in your mind. All relationships will end someday one way or another. Be grateful for the time you were with her and just let her go. It’s ok. She’s ok. Moving on takes time but you speed things up when you tend do your own life rather than look back at someone else.

[–]FullDisclosureDaemonMale 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Don’t let this change how you value yourself. At 21, no one expects you to be successful. You have the rest of your life to find success, however you choose to define it. If your ex wants to lamprey off some eurotrash who’s only achievement was being born rich, let her. There’s so much more to life than how many startups your daddy funded for you.

Not saying is won’t sting for a while, but the odds were pretty slim that you were going to end up with the girl you were dating as a teenager. Live your life and figure out who you are. When you’re ready, you’ll meet someone better — and better for you.

[–]DamnIamHigh_Original 47 points48 points  (9 children)

Girls come and go. Friends stay. Try not to focus on a relationship, fullfill your life and your goals and pick a girl up on the way. That might work. Thats at least my plan. Here I go, Thailand, Im on my way to Tuner Heaven soon

[–]youngboybrokegainThe Man 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I might sound harsh and inconsiderate but let's keep it 100 man you have to take it on the chin, she left you that's her problem not yours, you'll find a good partner later and you'll remember how low you're feeling rn and you'll think wtf was i thinking that girl wasn't worth it. So yeah I'd just try to move on and accept life sometimes life sucks a lot of dick.

Also her leaving you for a rich dude who probably walks with a stick up his ass to be perfectly stiff and look at you over his shoulder is a big L for her and a W for you, because you probably dodged a bullet there.

[–]ArianaGlans 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Just know that you'll wonder why you ever gave a shit when you're 30.

[–]TimmmyBurner 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Hate to be that guy but.... she happens to meet a guy who lives an hour away from while on vacation in another country?

And then her and her friends go on another vacation where this guy happens to have another house?

[–]pgvildys 11 points12 points  (4 children)

The “come find me in a year” is a trap. To try to let you off easy. Also gives her a backup if she finds no one in that year. Forget it.

[–]Vertigo-21 3 points4 points  (3 children)

And I was dumb enough to say "okay, I'll find you"

[–]alton_underbough 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A lot of us have been there bro, don't worry about it. Lots of good advice in here, just continue on your path bettering yourself. You got this

[–]StrongDPHT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been through something similar recently, as in 4 months ago. She said the same shit. Lemme tell you man you'll learn to hate her and you have to let yourself go through that.

That whole "we'll try again later" thing is complete bullshit. It's a selfish person's way of making their ex go away so that they can do whatever the fuck they want and not consider anyone but their own feelings and wants. It looks good in the moment because you still love her but it's not worth it and she's essentially throwing you in the trash.

Clearly, to her you have no value. It's a hard realization, but I realized there's no point in spending energy on someone who doesn't give a fuck about you.

You're in for a rough time, but I know that when you're where I'm at you'll feel so so much better. There's gonna be realizations, tons of pain, reflection, anger and crying. As you're going through it though you will find yourself a different and better person. A person that values themselves and won't take back their ex because they genuinely don't want to. A person that can look back and say "yeah I fucked up in some places, but I didn't deserve that."

Finally, there are going to be times you look back and wish she was with you again. In those times realize that you're not missing her, you're missing the idea of her at best, but mostly you're missing love and affection. When we feel something is missing from life we look back at our past to find it. Don't be afraid to go back out there, and don't be afraid to keep to yourself for a year. Do what you need to do and you'll be a different but better person. Even if you don't want to change, you already have, so make sure that change is good.

Good luck my friend, I truly understand your pain.

[–]Stalked_Like_Corn 23 points24 points  (1 child)

"Successful guy" comes from money. He started on third. He has two startups doesn't mean they're successful. If she's a money chaser, best to be rid of her anyways.

[–]gnique 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me in 1984! I was 36 then and I was fucking devastated! I am not going to tell you about the horrible thoughts that ran through my head. Time passed. She married the guy. Divorced him. Married him again and then divorced him again. More time passed. I got married again and had three kids. The kids are all grown up and I am happy and fucking rich. She lives alone on Social Security. So this from a Ginuwine Old Son Of A Bitch, Kid : Shit happens and time passes and the WORST thing that ever happened to me was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. Take a salt tablet and DRIVE ON! ALL THE WAY!

[–]Youriclinton 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I went through something similar when I was 23, and it absolutely shattered me. I was still studying (i.e. was broke af), didn't have a great deal of self-confidence, and was worried about my future. She left for some older rich dude. I also felt like an absolute loser. A decade later, I have a great career and feel I totally dodged a bullet because the way she broke up with me just showed her true colors. More importantly, I'm now with someone amazing, who's been making me way happier than my ex ever did.

Don't try to compete with this guy. Your ex is gone and the relationship doesn't seem to be salvageable anymore. Focus on yourself, do what you've got to do to find your own path - which does not need to be becoming a startup owner - and things will get better. You're super young, you have plenty of time to find out what you want to do with your life, and you will surely meet more girls in the future.

[–]distraff 8 points9 points  (3 children)

There will always be someone more successful, smarter, and more attractive than you out there. And many of them are walking around town every day. If she left you for someone else, it means you two weren't compatible and she was looking for different things. I'm glad it ended before you two got married.

[–]AdamLynch 61 points62 points  (27 children)

Hear me out, and after reading the comments, I know I'm in the minority. I know that when you look at this - mainly because this is how you write it, so you perceive the situation to be as such - it would seem she left you for someone more successful, but the fact she was with you for two years and then jumped shipped doesn't make me suggest she was a gold digger, or went with him because he's more successful.

It's a fact he's more successful, but it's probably not the reason she left. Regardless, the reason really doesn't matter. Analyze your life and ask yourself what you're doing right, and what you want changed, then strive to achieve that. Don't compare yourself to others.

You might have thought she was the one, and maybe she thought you were the one too, but if you think of 'the one' more like a gradient scale instead of a 0-1 binary scale, then you realize that as you meet more people you might find someone who's 'the one' more than someone else you thought was 'the one' - nothing wrong with the last choice, but the new choice was more suitable.

Watch something like 500 Days of Summer, maybe it'll give you a new perspective or at least get you into a new frame of thinking.

[–]Taciturntacitus1 31 points32 points  (9 children)

After reading so many comments I can’t believe that this was the first one I saw where it’s not calling the girlfriend a bitch.

People do fall out of love with each other. It can take a while but you will get over her eventually. Chin up!!!

Edit: OP’s edit does change things...

[–]skatchawan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm agreeing with this sentiment as well. From the dudes write-up the girl even said she had a connection and liked talking with this new guy. Thia sounds like a case of one moving on while the other didn't have that chance. It's the "same old story" (reference to an old garth brooks song). Almost everyone who finds happiness has been through at least one relationship where they were in forever mode and suddenly one of the two changed their minds. It sucks , you are sad for the time it takes, you lean on your friends and hobbies , and then you eventually move on....often when least expecting to. To OP , hang in there you will be fine.

[–]Sigourn 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Not to mention we are only hearing OP's side of the story. It's easy for someone to think their relationship was going great... when it wasn't.

Not to mention she is 19. It's all too easy to jump in on the "gold digger" bandwagon, because OP has defined this guy on his "success" alone.

[–]sunnyreece 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It will take time. Get rid of all social media connections to her. You’re not a loser. You will recover.

[–]DougBourbon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I believe you mean ex girlfriend

[–]OmegaCookieOfDoof 103 points104 points  (11 children)

Oh my, if she got over you that fast you should think you're lucky, she's (sorry for phrasing it this way) the literal defenition of a hoe. You didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a fucking nuke. Think about school now, be successful for the sake of crushing her, but don't think she'll get far in his relationship, I have a feeling she'll get dumped just as fast. And if she ever has the audacity to ask you out again, just ask her who are you?

I'm sorry if I sound a bit too agressive, just had to say this. Good luck with school

[–]pussyinacorset 40 points41 points  (21 children)

Be kind and generous to yourself. She's the one who's lucked out thinking the grass is greener. You're only 21 and YOU WILL find what your looking//hoping for. Just don't let her behaviour make you angry or bitter towards the other sex. Just be grateful that you dodged that bullet and she's lost a great fella. Big man hugs 'bro x

[–]Vertigo-21 18 points19 points  (20 children)

Thanks. I don't mind the other sex beacuse of her but I keep on wondering, what was that he could give her emotionally that I couldn't? She told me she really liked his personality and the way they could talk for hours ..

[–]belugwhal 36 points37 points  (1 child)

That's called the honeymoon phase. She'll be disappointed one day (soon) when she realizes he's not actually that interesting (ok I don't know the guy.. so, at best, is no more interesting than you). Hopefully his money will keep them together because that's all she seems to care about, and that way she won't disappoint another decent guy like yourself by pulling the shit she did with you.

[–]jellybeans118 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Block her so you don't keep harping on it. You'll end up happier when it's all said and done. 2yr of lesson learning is what you got now.

[–]devildocjamesMale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Uhhhhh... you are twenty frickin' one. You'll survive and become more successful. You're in the years of figuring out what you want. Forget her and get to figuring. Don't forget to go and vote also.

[–]BretTheShitmanFart69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro if I had a nickel for every guy who had a “start up” it truly doesn’t mean jack shit.

[–]octopoddle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't be her backup plan. She's tried to make you agree in advance to accept her back if the new relationship doesn't work out. That is incredibly selfish of her. Let that attachment go. If you take her back then she'll go again, and keep you as backup again.

I think from the way that you are writing that she made you feel worthless. You seem to put more stock in her values and opinions than your own. She's made you feel you'll be nothing without her, when really the opposite is true. Once you've fully let go of her and moved on, you'll find your worth and you'll see whether she brought true happiness to your life or kept you from it. Someone who smokes cigarettes feels that the cigarettes give them relaxation and relief. When you've given up for a long while you realise that the addiction was actually causing tension all the time, and that having a cigarette was merely temporarily relieving that tension rather than bringing true relaxation. I think your relationship was like this.

[–]EmmyNoetherRing 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Did you and her ever stay up all night talking? If not... it probably has nothing to do with how successful you and the other dude are, so much as her personality clicked with his better. Your personality will likely click with someone else better as well, and you’ll be more in love with them than you ever were with her.

[–]Wrullo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will. That's it. It hurts but life goes on. It might seem like the end of the world and feel like it but it's not. Being left for someone 'better' will always sting but that's just how it works out sometimes especially for guys. If the reason she left was purely because of what he had compared to what you don't then you lost nothing of value even if it seems that way right now.

[–]johnnyaclownboy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it's the same for most breakups..

Find new, healthy hobbies. Separate yourself from her, including shared dwellings and stuff. Meet new people. Invest your energy into improving yourself rather than unnecessary, neurotic thoughts.

[–]dayzdayv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look man, you matter. That’s all it comes down to. She couldn’t see it and chose this other guy for some reason, and that’s her decision. But you matter, and this one person deciding they don’t want to be with you doesn’t change that. They say “there are other fish in the sea” and we roll our eyes at the cheesiness of it, but the reality is that it’s true. You’re young, and you will meet so many more people in your life. At some point you will look back / remember this moment and it won’t be the same. This will be a moment that shapes you, and affects you deeply, and right now it sucks but in reality it’s provided you with many life lessons and emotional stock that will pay off down the line. Find some way to feel the pain, but then channel that pain into writing the next chapter of your life. Best of luck to you. You’ve got this!

[–]stewnodrink 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I bought my wife a moissanite ring. I wanted to know of she loved me or my bank account. She is an incredible woman who loves me and loves her ring. I am a very lucky man and so are you. Now you can find a woman who loves you.

[–]Shot-Machine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Learned it from JBP.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Take stock of yourself and start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Start small with incremental improvements and fix some tiny part of you, continually, over time. Look back and see how you were better this week/day/year than the time period before and continually see yourself progress through life.

There’s going to be an infinite number of people better than you. There’s also going to be an infinite number of people worse off than you. But we often ignore the latter.

[–]5cr1ptk1tty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeeea you'll probs never see this, but you might (: since you asked, I would say you might benefit from not comparing yourself to him, or anyone else, as long as your a better man than you were a month ago, you're doing fine (:

side note, he may have financial success, but does he have integrity like you? grit like you? hard working ethic like you? an understanding of reality like you? nope, he probs doesn't being a rich kid who sleeps with other people's partner's... I'm not so convinced yet that being given everything on a silver platter is so beneficial to one's true happiness...

don't worry about financial success so much, many people at the end of their life have stated that they treasured the time they had with loved ones the most, they treasured experience, memories, and who they had become through a lifetime of doing their best. not one I've heard has ever mentioned financial success at all... perhaps there's a reason (:

there's someone loyal and loving out there for you, obviously that bitch ain't the one, keep looking and you'll find her (:

GOOD LUCK MY BRO!

[–]rubyspicer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's been cheating and wants to keep you on the hook if/when this guy dumps her.

[–]KeananRice21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buddy, her "connection" is worse than if they fucked. Move on, you will probably never see her again. This is going to hurt you very much but I implore you to keep your head up. This will pass man I fucking promise. She isn't right for you. I'm so sorry.

[–]StewFReddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The quickest way to get over the last woman is to get on top of the next. Doesn't matter why she left.

[–]yaoz889 23 points24 points  (9 children)

Hey, I just want to give you some insight from a 3rd part objective perspective and all this pity that this site is giving you. You don't need pity, but you do need to move on. One thing is for sure, no one leaves you just from meeting one person. She is definitely lacking something from you. From past experience and learning about psychology, here are the reasons she might have left you:

  1. You have been too busy to spend time with her. This is probably because you are working so hard to achieve a future you want, but your SO does need to spend physical time with you. You have no time for fun with her. Meanwhile, the new guy she is seeing might have more time to spend with her, since he is consulting/managing and not working his way up. In addition, the guy's confidence will definitely be very high.
  2. Your too stressed. This Covid situation probably just made both of you feel stressed, depressed and tired all the time. This might have led to misunderstandings, which in term would have led to arguments. She probably needed a release and you couldn't provide it for her. With the new guy, she could feel safer financially, which would make her feel better emotionally. This Covid situation was probably a worst case scenario that occurrs once in a decade.
  3. You are too needy. You requested emotional support too much from her and she would become tired of it. From your past posts, you don't seem to be a confident person, so you need to work on that.

Of course, you could just ask her. Most girls will tell you why they left you for someone else. Just don't be toxic and start arguing with her. No one leaves someone out of nowhere if they've been together for 2 years.

Since you're a guy, you need a solution. Here is the solution:

  1. Don't make your life around a single relationship. You need to make more friends (try something like Zoom meetups and etc.). You need a more diverse life.
  2. You need to get your finances in order. I'm not sure how you are doing, but looking from your past, you did not get into college. If you do not go to college, you have 3 choices: trades, computer science and sales. There might be other cases, but these 3 professions can thrive without a college degree. You must invest in your education to get a decent job. If both of you were always stressed with money, it becomes very easy for someone to decide to break up.
  3. You need to work out, since you need some activity that will get you to do something without thinking about her. Working out is very good for this.
  4. If you do all three above, you will obtain confidence and that will attract friends and females that are even better than your previous SO. You have a lot of work ahead of you, but you're young. You have the time. I would say the work required would be at least 2 years (1 year if you go 100%), you will have a much more clear picture of what type of man you want to be.

[–]Lusterkx2 40 points41 points  (7 children)

You are already getting the positive words from everyone here. I’ll go opposite.

That’s women hypergamy. It’s real and all you can do is accept it.

You can moan and cry about it all you want. You can even use it to motivated yourself to become a better man so it won’t happen again.

But hypergamy works that way and there is nothing you can do about it. Wipe your tears and get to building yourself. Cry your heart out, punch the wall, scream at the sky. After months, end the pity party and start rebuilding yourself.

She’s going to be making love with this new guy and the last thing you want her thinking is you crying in the corner. Use the heart break to better yourself. Good luck.

[–]CYKAblyaddd 11 points12 points  (4 children)

As a Greek guy here, you dodged a bullet. Buddy probably wants to use her for a citizenship. She’ll eventually pick up on that and she’ll come crawling back. Don’t take her back. It’s not your fault that Greek guys are serial womanizers.