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[–]T-Flexercise 2038 points2039 points  (20 children)

One time, a dude selling solar panels door to door told me "This is 100% meant as a compliment, but you totally look like John Travolta in Grease."

I am a woman. But to be fair, I do kinda look like John Travolta in Grease.

[–]TinyTurtle88 178 points179 points  (3 children)

Ooh, tell us more?

[–]ShortNerdyOne 175 points176 points  (3 children)

I mean, John Travolta in Grease was pretty.

So was Mark Hamill in Star Wars.

Can someone do that with John Travolta?

[–]Potat_Eatr 1687 points1688 points  (36 children)

I have been called "diplomatic" four times by completely different people while doing different jobs. I don't think I've ever heard anybody else casually described as "diplomatic"...

[–]Chuckitybye 982 points983 points  (8 children)

Lol, this means you can tell someone to go to hell in a way that they look forward to the trip

[–]Melonby77 324 points325 points  (3 children)

Being tactful is a great quality!

[–]UpstairsFance 19.8k points19.8k points 2243 (279 children)

I was minding my own business in a New York bar. I was sleepy and yawned a lot because it was late.

This random person who I'd never met before approaches me and asks me a question "Are you a native of Boston? You yawn the way people in Boston movies yawn."

I am from Boston, and he was from Norway.

[–]destinybond 5297 points5298 points  (98 children)

Thats incredible. I love when people can pick up things like that based on very small clues

[–]DragoonDM 1201 points1202 points  (29 children)

Alternatively, it could be a fantastic way of subtly messing with people. Overhear them say something that makes it clear where they're from, then ask them, "hey, are you from Boston, by chance? You've got those typical Bostonian fingernails."

[–]destinybond 493 points494 points  (17 children)

oh shit I have to start doing this

[–]drsideburns 411 points412 points  (13 children)

Oh gosh, you too?

I got excited about this, because it's a subtle prank I can add to my arsenal.

If I found out someone's birthdate, if I walked by them, I'd ask "are you a Taurus? You smell like a taurus."

[–]Diablo516- 1912 points1913 points  (56 children)

The movies got it right for once.

[–]JoshSidekick 1012 points1013 points  (52 children)

How do they get the accent so wrong but the yawn so right?

[–]aChocolateFireGuard 624 points625 points  (31 children)

Wait, people from Boston don't sound like "AHHHH YOU A CAWPPP?!" (I am also under the impression they yell everything)

[–]BrittneyRageFace 414 points415 points  (15 children)

I live in Boston and can confirm the native Bostons yell everything

[–]spiderbabyinapram 792 points793 points  (41 children)

So.. how do people from Boston yawn?

[–]CatAteMyBread 463 points464 points  (3 children)

The way most normal people say “Yarn”

[–]boombapdrumz6666 679 points680 points  (14 children)

Like this y a w n

[–]tank19 621 points622 points  (13 children)

Says the guy who yawned while wearing a Red Sox shirt…

[–]The_One_Who_Decides 1055 points1056 points  (37 children)

A Norwegian would never approach a stranger

[–]olibr26 291 points292 points  (9 children)

Probably not in Norway, but if i were in an american bar i would

[–]OSHA-shrugged 325 points326 points  (12 children)

Could have simply adopted a 'When in Rome' mentality.

[–]ConfidentPark343 6329 points6330 points  (54 children)

Years ago, I was working out at my high school's gym. This young lady approaches me and says something along those lines "It's completely unjust! I'll never have ankles as good as yours, no matter how much I work out! You're fucked!" Prior to storming out. I'm also a man.

[–]molybdenumb 1769 points1770 points  (10 children)

This person was probably my mother lol

[–]dewyouhavethetime 652 points653 points  (9 children)

If you mom isn’t actually a comedic genius and actually cares about the her ankles. Tell her to get into ballet classes. Ballet technique classes are just for exercise and refining skills.

[–]Wagsii 1029 points1030 points  (22 children)

The "you're fucked!" at the end throws me off

[–]Delicious-Law2977 12.9k points12.9k points 222 (153 children)

I was told that I have nice legs by some random guy that didn't have legs at Wal-Mart once.

[–]snakepliskkin21 4510 points4511 points  (34 children)

Well, say goodbye to your legs. Soon will be on sale in eBay

[–]elee0228 2804 points2805 points 2 (25 children)

I dislike people with no legs.

I'm lack-toes intolerant.

[–]willyolio 199 points200 points  (2 children)

You never learn to properly appreciate something until it's gone

[–]FinalboyWasTaken 7758 points7759 points  (185 children)

A random girl passed me at the mall one time. We made eye contact for maybe a second. Then she just said "Nice pants" and kept on walking. My roommate said she was talking about my butt, but I like to think I had some sweet pants on that day.

[–]JuRoJa 6105 points6106 points 23 (31 children)

Meanwhile she's kicking herself. "NICE PANTS??? WHO SAYS THAT??"

[–]_haha_oh_wow_ 918 points919 points  (7 children)

More people than she thinks I bet.

[–]Mae_Ellen 1777 points1778 points  (34 children)

Reminds me: I was walking in a mall, a man was walking the opposite direction of me and staring at me. I must’ve given him an annoyed look. When he gets passed me he yells, quite angrily: “you’re beautiful!” I guess he had to tell me why he was staring.

[–]andidandi 1250 points1251 points  (23 children)

I mean, to be fair I've seen some people that are so beautiful it makes me mad. It happens.

[–]Mysterious_Fox_8616 786 points787 points  (15 children)

I remember being in a store and asking my friend if a dress I tried on looked good on me. A guy that was passing by smiled and said "yes!", then walked away.

[–]Apocalypse_Squid 609 points610 points  (51 children)

LOL holy shit, "nice pants" were my now husband's first words to me as I caught him checking out my ass.

[–]Jelz 2200 points2201 points  (69 children)

I was assisting an older lady trying to fill out an unemployment claim and she looked down and said, "Mmm, you have nice veiny hands. I LOVE veiny hands."

[–]Schitheed 379 points380 points  (19 children)

When I was working as a cashier a customer told me that she was a nurse and that I had really nice veins. I'm skinny so my veins are pretty pronounced but I really didn't know how to respond

[–]DooberNugs 112 points113 points  (3 children)

That was my first thought. Probably a nurse. My mom is a nurse and she always points out nice veins. Weirdos.

[–]Zachabay22 2125 points2126 points  (125 children)

How many guys out there got compliments on their eyelashes.... I do.

[–]DanlexTheKnight 532 points533 points  (9 children)

Oh everyone in my family gets those a lot lol. Girls are always all like “you have such pretty lashes!! Im so jealous” Its usually more common for guys to have pretty long lashes due to testosterone yk? Same thing as with good eyebrows.

[–]Klemmquat 13.5k points13.5k points 3 (126 children)

I was washing my hands in a gas station, and this lady told me I'm very good at washing my hands. Then she leaned close and said, "No, really. I'm a health inspector, and I'm very impressed."

[–]stopannoyingwithname 4918 points4919 points  (17 children)

Well your handwashing is health inspector approved.

[–]bluejackmovedagain 1018 points1019 points  (4 children)

My technique for carrying boxes up stairs was similarly approved by a work place health and safety assessor.

[–]lowercase_underscore 515 points516 points  (11 children)

If that's not a Hallmark movie meet-cute I don't know what is.

[–]RhettWilliams88 394 points395 points  (28 children)

My fantastic European accent

I’m from southeastern US. I do not sound European in the slightest, and I wasn’t putting on an accent. This person just really thought my country bumpkin voice somehow sounded European

[–]tofutti770 4753 points4754 points  (43 children)

"When you cry, you look like a sad otter. It's very cute."

Said to me as a 27 year old man.

[–]iknowthisischeesy 1183 points1184 points  (6 children)

In their defense, otters are adorable. And age is not inversely proportional to adorableness.

[–]Justlikeyourmoma 391 points392 points  (6 children)

Ffs ruined my excitement that an Otter had a Reddit account

[–]trippy331 7425 points7426 points 2 (91 children)

I was told by a random lady in the grocery store that i have birthing hips, i am a 26yo man. Not sure if it was a compliment, but it was definitely strange.

[–]akanefive 4678 points4679 points 2 (16 children)

HAHAHA THERE GOES THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

[–]gutsch 527 points528 points  (22 children)

I was working with a Hutterite client. Introduced myself and went to shake his hand. He responded with “My name is Josef, you have excellent birthing hips my child.”

My male colleague stepped in and handled the rest.

[–]SmartAlec105 8004 points8005 points  (95 children)

“You have a very swan like voice”. She did mean it as a compliment but she’d never heard a swan so she was just going off of how swans look.

[–]Vlad-V2-Vladimir 2799 points2800 points  (36 children)

I imagine they sound like angry geese, which doesn’t sound like it’d be a compliment, or it’d be a passive-aggressive insult

[–]baguasrr 799 points800 points  (5 children)

They make gentle honks, and hiss like cats when angry.

[–]Substantial-Ice9730 1087 points1088 points  (24 children)

Someone once told me I "look like X-Men".

[–]Complex_beauty717 2888 points2889 points  (61 children)

I like your teeth what do you do to them? I was so uncomfortable because I replied by saying I brush them with toothpaste…

[–]HolyMolyGawkomole 804 points805 points  (16 children)

Someone thought I had false teeth because they looked so nice

[–]DukeInterior 5373 points5374 points  (55 children)

A homeless man once yelled out 'Heyyyy sexy Jesus!' at me.

So that was nice.

[–]Hoof_Hearted2000 9721 points9722 points  (91 children)

I was dressed as a zombie for a scare acting job at a haunted house - full-on gore, horrendous outfit, the works.

I scared a group of lads and then as they were walking away I heard - "Dude, was it just me or did that zombie have a fantastic ass?"

[–]ashamedprotein 3403 points3404 points  (13 children)

Stupid sexy zombie...

[–]How_Lewd 761 points762 points  (8 children)

Feels like I’m wearin’ nothin’ at all!

[–]SurlyJason 933 points934 points  (8 children)

And?! Was it just him, or was it a fantastic ass?

[–]RemarkableWar007 1629 points1630 points  (21 children)

You have the appearance of an attractive older woman.

[–]plupluplapla 714 points715 points  (7 children)

I had a slightly younger man tell me, "You're really attractive for someone your age."

[–]buddytheamazing 2732 points2733 points 2 (38 children)

After returning to the office post-COVID I got told I look way less fat in person.

[–]coffeecoup 834 points835 points  (5 children)

sadly, the opposite is true for me

[–]Windholm 645 points646 points  (18 children)

In college, after a year apart, a casual friend greeted me with, "You've lost weight!"

I hadn't. And I wasn't fat at all. But somehow, in his mind, I had been overweight all along.

[–]Preservesaremyjam 2628 points2629 points  (66 children)

A friend recently told me "you have a very conventionally attractive laugh."

I wasn't paying attention to how I was laughing at the time and I'm kind of a wreck over wondering how I was laughing to be able to recreate it. I probably laugh entirely differently now that I've been alerted to it.

[–]Baberaham_Lincoln6 596 points597 points  (25 children)

I've been told that my laugh sounds like "a laugh" like if you made a Wilhelm Scream of a laugh. They didn't say it like a compliment tho. I, too, am now stressed about laughing all the time.

[–]yarnmonger 79 points80 points  (2 children)

Don't be. All authentic laughs are nice :) I bet it's a nice laugh.

[–]DrFridayTK 3963 points3964 points  (98 children)

“It must be fun to be you.”

I was told this when a friend asked why I was laughing and I replied that remembered a joke from a Simpsons episode I watched 3 years earlier.

[–]Agrochain920 1805 points1806 points  (21 children)

having the ability to crack yourself up is invaluable. I often make jokes by myself in my car like a lunatic and laugh at myself. But hey, I'm having fun

[–]davelicious123 338 points339 points  (11 children)

People always say it’s weird when you laugh at your own jokes but personally I tell jokes for myself. It’s just a bonus when other people think they’re funny too

[–]Menolo_Homobovanez 1294 points1295 points 2 (42 children)

Someone one once asked me why i laugh at nothing, one of my friends (who is independently referred to as my interpreter) said “think about how many funny things he says, some of those things just go unsaid, and then he laughs and we don’t know why”

Edit: Didn’t expect this to explode, but my friend has a carefully curated twitter page of my quotes that he updates haphazardly (meaning usually when we drink) unfortunately he has moved so its not updated much anymore. https://twitter.com/CrystalOcular

[–]GodofTeeth 415 points416 points  (4 children)

You have an awesome friend in that interpreter 🤣

[–]dphiloo 2127 points2128 points  (71 children)

Accidentally shot the speculum back out at my gynaecologist and they told me I had impressively strong uterine walls. Thanks?

[–]fixitorbrixit2 1116 points1117 points  (16 children)

Yeah doc, like a fucking bear trap.

[–]missionbeach 317 points318 points  (0 children)

That's gotta be a tough match on dating apps.

"She was almost perfect for me, but I just couldn't get past her wimpy uterine walls."

[–]stunt_pickle 467 points468 points  (14 children)

Had a dentist once tell me that I had an impressively strong jaw. He then went on to tell me that I was creating stress fractures in my tooth enamel from clenching my impressively strong jaw.

[–]RettyD4 750 points751 points  (15 children)

A gay guy told me I was hot but I stunk like a straight guy.

[–]stackjr 200 points201 points  (3 children)

I had a gay guy tell me that I was sexy with a great body but he wouldn't fuck me with a stolen dick.

I really wanted answers but he just walked away. I will forever wonder what in the hell that was about.

[–]lil_gingham_n_graham 156 points157 points  (2 children)

Do you wear body spray/cologne? There’s a yankee candle scent called Mantown. Maybe you smell like that? I want to know lol

[–]Lily_Hylidae 715 points716 points  (26 children)

"You're very photogenic, but don't for one minute think that means you're beautiful. You're not,"

Er. Thanks?

[–]Outside_Classroom_38 84 points85 points  (10 children)

What!? Who said that

[–]Lily_Hylidae 48 points49 points  (6 children)

Customer in a pub I used to work in. I was about 18/19 and it crushed me a bit.

[–]NovaOfficialReddit 1513 points1514 points  (25 children)

My mom stalks you on Instagram... Wtf!!??

[–]ucchan801 227 points228 points  (8 children)

From my dentist: If you were a horse, I'd buy you.

[–]SurlyJason 3161 points3162 points  (32 children)

My BFF introduced me to his new girlfriend as "the guy who would help hide the bodies."

[–]ga_poker 1529 points1530 points  (5 children)

This is the highest level of bro compliment.

[–]Artemis829 409 points410 points  (3 children)

Good friends help you move. Great friends help you move bodies.

[–]ScapryGamer 206 points207 points  (11 children)

You have beautiful veins

[–]AcceptableStranger96 617 points618 points  (5 children)

"You have a very expressive face"

I stumbled out of an after hours club at like 8am and hopped on transit home, I scanned the bus and found a seat. Once I sat down another guy around my age said that.

The guy probably knew I was fucked up and messing with me, still makes me laugh.

[–]Jigbaa 185 points186 points  (3 children)

“Smile girl! You pretty!”

I’m a 35 year old white male.

[–]DrSealMan 1805 points1806 points  (24 children)

I was queuing at a food shop and the guy behind me whispered to his partner/friend while pointing at me "Oooohhh look at me, all rugged and handsome". It was weird because it sounded like he was trying to insult me.

[–]Gothsalts 562 points563 points  (7 children)

trying to make you seem shallow for having good looks I guess?

[–]Heydo29 892 points893 points  (31 children)

snifs me pretty aggressively "you smell good" she then proceeded to tell me the name of my fragrance. Idk why but it weirded me out lmao

[–]Oshioki108 1192 points1193 points  (11 children)

“I love your hairs. It comes off so easily”

I was getting a Brazilian wax

[–]Pm_me_baby_pig_pics 496 points497 points  (5 children)

I was once told “you have perfect anatomy!”

I was spread eagle in labor with my kid and my nurse was prepping me for a catheter.

I just kinda laughed and said “thanks! I grew it myself!”

[–]stressandscreaming 1447 points1448 points  (17 children)

I was walking to a smoke shop in the in the winter, so I fully wrapped my face and hair in a scarf, only my eyes were visible. When I got to the smoke shop and purchased my item, the cashier told me I was "the most beautiful Indian woman in the world." I was so flattered. All this man could see was my eyes. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm not Indian, I'm black. I just took the compliment and felt great all day.

[–]I_creampied_Jesus 513 points514 points  (2 children)

Damn, I was hoping you’d tell us you’re a man also.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Lmao after reading 6 of these I was fully expecting her to be a man in the story.

[–]lady_grey_fog 42 points43 points  (4 children)

I was working at a liquor store, offering product samples. An Indian man came up to me, fully with tears in his eyes, and started talking about how he always wanted a daughter and he imagined she would be like me and he wished me well in life...he didn't take a sample...I am flouresently white.

?!!?!?

[–]TrojanHorseXL 853 points854 points  (13 children)

Older woman at a festival Beer/Wine line told me that I have a nice, strong looking neck, Adam’s apple and jaw line like her dads before he died.

Not sure how I feel about it to this day with the whole he died part but still took the compliment and thanked her.

[–]Vlad-V2-Vladimir 436 points437 points  (4 children)

Trying to find out whose body parts are best to use for making another dad

[–]uranusinretrograde 163 points164 points  (1 child)

I work with the public and this lady was like “Your skin is so beautiful. I love the color. And so soft!” Which would’ve been okay except: A) I had not touched her in any capacity and B) She said it like she was planning on roasting me like a chicken and then harvesting it. It took everything in me not to back up lol

[–]LetsHaveVaginalSex 1254 points1255 points  (48 children)

"Homosexuals must love your body."

[–]_CARLOX_ 406 points407 points  (6 children)

I've gotten that before. I'm a straight guy but I always said thanks as it was a self-esteem boost.

[–]Key_Juggernaut2461 732 points733 points  (11 children)

True story: last year my wife said to me, when I look at you I can tell that when you were younger that you must have had a really great body! WTF!!!

[–]motionsickness3 951 points952 points  (21 children)

Your hair looks small

[–]BehindThyCamel 653 points654 points  (18 children)

I got praised by a manager at my company for an insightful comment when I actually said something obvious. Then he proceeded to note it down.

[–]Lucifang 94 points95 points  (8 children)

That reminds me of when I complained to a company that their packaging was crap (I worked for a delivery company) because the side flaps were just glued down and came open a lot during transport. The company responded by telling me how proactive I am, thanking me, passed on positive feedback to my head office, who then issued me a fucking certificate for good work.

[–]coolturnipjuice 76 points77 points  (0 children)

“Buy more TP”

[–]ChampismyPuppy 612 points613 points  (39 children)

I had a guy at the bar tell me I had big feet? My feet are size 7 so I'm still puzzled. Sometimes I think about it at like 3:00 a.m.

[–]Dis0lved 209 points210 points  (12 children)

This sounds like a shitty «pick-up artist» move called «negging». The point is to make an atractive person suceptible to romancing by making them insecure, often by giving a backhanded or ambiguous «compliment».

[–]miasabine 2158 points2159 points  (56 children)

My partner and I were at a David Sedaris reading in Glasgow years ago. We had dressed up a bit, I was wearing a dress with a square neckline. After the reading, we went up to him to get our books signed. When it was my turn, he looked at me and said “Wow, you’ve got fantastic breasts”. I said “Thanks! They’re real!” to which he replied “I know, I can tell!”.

For the uninitiated, David Sedaris is gay. Somehow, that made the compliment more meaningful.

[–]kaleidoverse 564 points565 points  (9 children)

I also met David Sedaris at a book signing. He wrote "I'm glad you're alive". I mean, me too... but I always kind of wondered if I looked somehow suicidal that day or if that's just a thing he says a lot.

[–]RexArcana 115 points116 points  (0 children)

If you bought my books and liked them enough to get them signed, I'd be glad you're alive, too. It's very validating for an artist.

[–]Jaustinduke 634 points635 points  (15 children)

That man is a treasure. One of my friends met him at a book signing and him a joke that I had told him. My friend immediately texted me to tell me how much David Sedaris likes my joke.

[–]miasabine 149 points150 points  (2 children)

He really is. We went to another reading a few years later, but we didn’t get anything signed that time. Hopefully once this pandemic dies down we can see him again. He’s always so funny, I could listen to him all day long.

[–]The_Real_Johnny_Utah 568 points569 points  (25 children)

I'll make someone a good wife.

[–]Pale-Tower-1901 199 points200 points  (6 children)

Like in bride of Frankenstein?

[–]The_Real_Johnny_Utah 122 points123 points  (4 children)

I'm really not sure honestly.

It for sure was a positive statement, and they sounded a little jealous as they said it.

I tell you one thing though, I won't walk alone down dark paths again any time soon.

[–]CaffeinatedLiquid 65 points66 points  (3 children)

I'm a dude and I've gotten that before!

[–]Frankieeubanks2003 546 points547 points  (34 children)

You have lovely hands

[–]Ok-Challenge7712 178 points179 points  (1 child)

That is actually nice, I would love to have lovely hands And very nice to see than on other people also

[–]Vlad-V2-Vladimir 63 points64 points  (2 children)

As long as he doesn’t look similar to David Bowie, then you’re good

[–]AggravatingLimp 2418 points2419 points  (73 children)

I was in the supermarket buying chips, and my cashier was this lovely elderly lady. "I don't know whether you've ever been told this, but you look a lot like Macaulay Culkin!" she exclaims as she rings me up in the nicest, most real way.

I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but as a 21-year-old man who has seen recent photos of Macaulay Culkin and has never done meth, I didn't see it that way.

[–]SecondTalon 1227 points1228 points  (8 children)

Yeah, but - elderly lady.

She still thinks Culkin is 12.

[–]TheSinningRobot 336 points337 points  (14 children)

I feel like the whole Macauly Culkin situation could be a whole class on viral misinformation. One bad picture gets taken of him, and suddenly the next 8 years everyone has just accepted the fact that clearly he fell off as a child star and became addicted to Meth, even though none of that is true

[–]G36_FTW 147 points148 points  (3 children)

Yeah I just spent 5 minutes trying to find a "meth" looking photo of him and he doesn't look bad for 40 even in the worst ones.

[–]Robobvious 68 points69 points  (0 children)

There was one specific unflattering picture of him that I remember fitting the meth head bill exactly, but yeah it was just a bad pic. He was kind of off the radar at that time, now that he’s doing more public stuff again I think there’s just more available photos of him looking normal.

[–]TheDrunkScientist 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Plot twist: you actually are MC

[–]graeuk 518 points519 points  (28 children)

a bodybuilder once asked my how i managed to get my calf muscles so sculpted.

I havent ever done a single calf workout in my life.

[–]miasabine 313 points314 points  (17 children)

It can be very difficult to get one’s calves sculpted because it has so much to do with genetics. It’s not an uncommon source of frustration for body builders. So you’ve probably got good genes, or maybe you walk up a lot of hills in your day to day life.

[–]graeuk 139 points140 points  (3 children)

genetic - runs in my mothers side of the family. we all have HUGE calves.

[–]otomennn 323 points324 points  (8 children)

For someone who look like you, you are pretty smart. i am sorry, what?

[–]zenichi_ 675 points676 points  (36 children)

You can be a very intense person, but it was meant in a good way.

[–]StaceeDorman 518 points519 points  (5 children)

"Your bone structure gives my bone structure"

oh..okay.

[–]MuchupAndKesterd 638 points639 points  (21 children)

"butthole supermodel" ?????

Edit: looked back in the messages and he also said "most tongue-punchable"

[–]kittenslutbaby-999 93 points94 points  (8 children)

got told, “you have the most gorgeous neck” 😭 by a man in the taco bell drivethru where i worked at the time.

[–]pivny2014 93 points94 points  (7 children)

I was working as a cashier at a dollar store and normally got compliments for having a nice voice. One day a customer was checking out and making small talk, he ended with "you have a really nice voice, you could be a phone sex operator.".... I had no idea how to respond.

[–]Scoffer_ 85 points86 points  (3 children)

'Wow, such a nice calves muscle' I was pretty confused 👀

[–]Tyrianne 79 points80 points  (2 children)

Tattoo artists love to tell me I have perfect skin, in another context it would certainly be creepy xD

[–]spiderbabyinapram 79 points80 points  (9 children)

I was once told by someone that my voice made them feel funny but in a good way. I didn't want to ask them to elaborate as that would have involved me talking and I didn't have a pen, so who knows what they meant.

[–]Back2Bach 922 points923 points  (16 children)

Knowing that I'm a chef as a hobby, a dinner guest said (after finishing the last bite of dessert):

"Your cuisine was a culinary triumph!"

[–]orrocos 676 points677 points  (4 children)

You are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

[–]masheduppotato 69 points70 points  (0 children)

A gay man once told me, "I'm don't normally top, I'm just not a fan, but God, I'd top that ass".

I was not topped, but I was flattered that my ass was worth topping... I think.

[–]hewhoanswered 69 points70 points  (1 child)

"I can see your cock through your apron, nice!"

[–]iluniuhai 65 points66 points  (1 child)

A homeless man approached me when I was 18 and yelled "You have beautiful hair! You could sell it for $800!!!!" I looked into it and he wasn't wrong. Still kept it though.

[–]ipakookapi 1119 points1120 points  (55 children)

'You look like you don't care what poeple think'

[–]SnowMiser26 59 points60 points  (4 children)

Not me, but my boyfriend's old roommate Dave was told that he "smelled like a wizard" by his buddy who was tripping on who knows what.

[–]Deathangel2890 570 points571 points  (35 children)

That I have perfect eyebrows.

I'm a guy and I get this one pretty frequently from women. I don't do anything with them and it's made a few female friends of mine jealous over the years. I don't understand how or why their perfect (they're eyebrows...) but, as I said, I get this one a lot.

[–]100LittleButterflies 221 points222 points  (3 children)

My bf is the same way. Perfect eyebrows and such a cute nose. I have no other words to describe them. Apparently he hears this a lot haha!

[–]Diablo516- 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Was at work, saw a friend in the cafeteria, went over to say hello. Her friend, who I didn't know, basically started eye fucking me, telling me I looked great. This was fine, and I was okay with the complement, where it got weird was when she kept going.

See, I had gained some weight, about 40 pounds past my comfortable 180. This woman straight up tells me I look like a bag of tasty oatmeal while making hmm, hmm, hmm noises. I just looked at her, and said "Never, ever, ever, tell a man he looks like a bag of oatmeal. It's not the compliment you think it is" and left with my head down.

Made the mistake of telling two lady friends later, to this day they still call me oatmeal despite the fact I'm back to my 180.

[–]PigeonXerno 236 points237 points  (4 children)

Some random dude slapped my ass and told me: You got a juicy ass. Woman like juicy ass.

[–]EttoreKalsi 144 points145 points  (5 children)

I was told I enunciate very clearly.
Had a wicked bad speech problem as a kid and had to go to speech therapy for 7 years, so I guess its try, but it was still weird in the moment.

[–]spicysnakelover 214 points215 points  (3 children)

First thing coming to mind was the farmer I work for complimenting my deep squat as we crouched planting onions ..

Oh and another time I was at a metal gig headbanging away and suddenly I get a whack on the head I looked up and realised there's this huge bald guy in front of me and he had just headbutted me. So I headbutted him back and we went back and forth smashing our heads together for a few seconds and then he straightened up, looked at me and said "You're cute" and walked away. Never saw him again. And my head hurt like fuck.

[–]VividLoop 63 points64 points  (2 children)

Ayo what the cinnamon toast fuck

[–]Othello_The_Sequel 44 points45 points  (3 children)

I sound like I should be a 911 operator

It’s… very specific at least?

[–]hottamalehothottamal 50 points51 points  (3 children)

"You would be a great cult leader."

I have heard this so many times from many independent sources. I'm not on social media much anymore because of this.

[–]QueasyArts 425 points426 points  (25 children)

I once had a lesbian friend of mine tell me I had an aesthetically pleasing penis.

It's complicated.

[–]PMmeblandHaikus 149 points150 points  (7 children)

Objectively there are good looking types and ugly types. I'm straight and don't really care but definitely some are prettier than others.

Ones that are nice and symmetrical plus proportional are very aesthetically pleasing.

[–]thewednesdayboy 133 points134 points  (5 children)

Before my friend's wedding ceremony the minister told me, "You were great in The Aviator!" I didn't know what that was supposed to mean but it was a nice compliment, so I said thank you anyway.

[–]the_iraq_such_as 41 points42 points  (1 child)

"I love your hair!"

I have a shaved head. Apparently she thought that it looked good on me.

[–]mamaxchaos 43 points44 points  (0 children)

One of my best friends is an absolute sap, and anytime he gets drunk he goes up to people, lovingly caresses their face, and gives them a VERY specific compliment. The first time he did it to me, he was like “if I wasn’t absolute shit at art, I’d spend days trying to sculpt your side profile just to accurately show you how perfect your nose is. You look like a Roman goddess statue and your nose is perfect”

And then he started crying about how much he loved me and my wife, and I had to get him crackers and stop him from calling his ex. I love him so much.