top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]NadiaElm 6092 points6093 points  (130 children)

Think that you will actually fill up your gas tank the next morning before work. Don’t kid yourself.

[–]respected_prophet 1825 points1826 points  (37 children)

That's morning guy's problem!

[–]Phllop 747 points748 points  (8 children)

haha, stupid morning guy

[–]freefrogs 404 points405 points  (2 children)

Fuck that guy, I'll ruin his day

[–]Thee_big_ox 279 points280 points  (1 child)

Hes a sucker who should manage his time better

[–]scsm 533 points534 points 2 (16 children)

I tried finding the article, but there's some research that says our brains actually consider our future selves as different people, which is part of why we procrastinate.

Exactly "it's other guy's problem."

EDIT: I'll look for the article later, it's that fucker's problem.

[–]MelisandreStokes 69 points70 points  (6 children)

There are some pretty convincing philosophical arguments that they are indeed different people

[–]sycor 107 points108 points  (2 children)

God past me is a dick and had done this to me so many times. I don't know why me and future me put up with this bullshit so much.

[–]awitcheskid 351 points352 points  (2 children)

I feel personally attacked.

[–]Acroninja 1541 points1542 points  (39 children)

At age 30 you should never think age 30 is old

[–]catelemnis 13.2k points13.2k points 552& 3 more (346 children)

Expecting passive friendships to happen. Fuck me, friendship takes a lot of work to build as an adult. Back in school you had excuses to see each other regularly. As an adult you have to construct those scenarios. And if you feel bad that someone hasn’t reached out to you in a while then sometimes you gotta suck it up and reach out to them or else you could just end up not talking ever again.

[EDIT: added a comma to the second sentence bc people were being smartasses about it :P]

EDIT2: To clarify, I was thinking of friendships made as adults (post-school), where you don’t have a shared history to fall back on and have to work to build it into a close frienship. Friends made while growing up or in school are kind of a different thing.

[–]TileFloor 2029 points2030 points 22& 2 more (73 children)

I had a huge and sad revelation recently that my friends don’t reach out to me. I’m the one desperately trying to make conversation. I’m the one reaching out when I notice their tweets seem sad. I’m the one saying “hey I was doing this thing today and this other thing reminded me of you!” It’s just. Really upsetting. I say im okay with friendships where we go without talking for long periods of time cos it doesn’t matter but im not okay with always being to one to reach out. I want someone to care about me.

[–]lhiver 354 points355 points  (3 children)

This hits hard. I did this a lot when I first joined social media. I didn’t live where I grew up and had difficulty finding anyone to hang out with so I tried to reconnect and I was often met with the equivalent of online small talk. Now I don’t really use any social media where I’m not anonymous in part because it isn’t as personal so it can’t hurt as much. 😑

[–]Zeddit_B 115 points116 points  (2 children)

My sister had this issue post college. She decided to embrace it. Exhausting I'm sure, but she made a ton of friends. And what do you know, when she had a wedding on a very tight timeline, she called in all the favors and everyone responded. So see if you can look at it another way. Do they seem to enjoy your contact when you do reach out and initiate? If so, you might just be the initiator for your friendship.

[–]Jungleman6 28 points29 points  (2 children)

That’s pretty much why I’m no longer in contact with pretty much any of my old friends. I was always the one reaching out to start conversations or organise hangouts. Eventually I decided that I was probably bothering them and stopped. None of them tried to contact me. Now my closest friend lives about 600km away and I see her maybe once a year and we barely talk.

[–]Sgt_Smitty 2275 points2276 points  (70 children)

My friends and I are getting better at actually scheduling things instead of just saying "we should get together soon!" to each other over and over again until we die.

[–]catelemnis 1267 points1268 points  (42 children)

lol, I’ve learned my lesson enough that when someone says “we should hang out!” I respond with, “Ok I’m free Saturday, want to get lunch?” I find some people are so bad about waiting for someone else to take initiative so I just do it now. I’m too old and impatient to wait for someone else to do it.

[–]daguy9 287 points288 points  (29 children)

I always try and make a plan afterwards but most people are just saying it to be nice. They don't actually want to hang out 😔

[–]d4nowar 192 points193 points  (21 children)

Yep, follow up with "sure let's get lunch tomorrow!" And you'll get left with a "let me see!" and then not hear from them for two days.

[–]Luneowl 155 points156 points  (19 children)

I tried scheduling a coffee meetup with a coworker who lived nearby. After the 7th cancellation (don’t know why I tried so many times) I got the hint.

She still says that we should get together and catch up. “Sure, you bet!” I say and forget all about it.

Forgot to mention that she has a toddler so most of the excuses were doctors appts which seemed legit. Guess that’s why I tried till it got ridiculous.

[–]chinou91 252 points253 points  (16 children)

I totally get your point since I'm in this situation. However, I reach out to those friends that I have not seen in a while, but they are always "busy" or don't make the effort to come out. I've started to stop caring about those friendship since I seem to be the one making all the efforts to make plans, I don't mind planning, but some just never want to come and hangout again. Maybe they never valued the friendship as much as I did, but we shall see if they ever get back to me.

[–]willbeach8890 9606 points9607 points 3 (344 children)

Quit exercising

[–]1nsider1nfo 609 points610 points  (25 children)

This is a big one. You see those 70 year old's running and hiking like they are still 30. Keep your bodies moving people.

[–]noni4gurj 2332 points2333 points  (222 children)

Fucking insane how long it takes me to recover now. At 27-29 I was recovering so damn quick.

[–]willbeach8890 887 points888 points  (122 children)

That soreness is motivation for me to stick to it

[–]kencleanairsystem 959 points960 points  (114 children)

My buddy the personal trainer made sure I understand that the secret cure to being super sore from squats, is more squats. Fun.

[–]sleepingbeardune 1236 points1237 points 2 (103 children)

I'm 69. My reward for living so long is a pair of twin grandbabies, now 9 months old. They've turned out to be a very efficient squat-training regime, with the added benefit that they automatically up the ante over time by gaining weight.

They're almost 20# each, now; caring for the two of them all day is, I calculated, about 4 squats per hour per baby. It adds up!

Note to expectant grandparents: do the work now and get ahead of this game.

[–]weristjonsnow 575 points576 points  (66 children)

I've never seen the pound sign be used to designate weight and now I'm questioning why it's not more common. It's genius

[–]Johnnyfutbol86 417 points418 points  (13 children)

Man I realize the importance of icing a sprained ankle or a bruised hand at 35. That shit used to be fine in no time without any care back then. I notice even little cuts take longer to heal up now lol

[–]savvy_knee 78 points79 points  (6 children)

My shoulder got tendonitis from over use. Not bad form, not anything crazy, just the same working out with weights I've always done.

Put me out of commission for over six weeks now waiting to fully heal.

Fuck getting old.

[–]Buttigieg2032 492 points493 points  (49 children)

In 34….after 6 months of heavy exercising my recovery times are the same as my early 20s. The slow recovery times are mostly a symptom of being out of shape rather than age, until like 50.

[–]Vegetable-Double 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Agreed. I’m 36 and my recovery times are actually better now, mostly because I am consistent nowadays unlike when I was younger.

I’d say the biggest drawback though is if I hurt myself now, it takes a long to recover from that. I still play pick up basketball and I can’t just walk off an ankle sprain anymore.

[–]kapntoad 249 points250 points  (3 children)

As a 53 year old who lost 100 pounds and starting running 5 and 10ks, agreed. Despite being in way better shape, things fall apart; the center cannot hold.

[–]maurice_moss_d20 329 points330 points  (9 children)

Can't quit if you don't start!

[–]noisyturtle 252 points253 points  (13 children)

but the older I get the more I want to die

[–]nospltincor 4773 points4774 points 24 (134 children)

Feel guilty about work. Fuck that shit

Edit: didn’t know this would gain so much traction. Thanks for the awards. Remember, you are just a number. If you were to die on a Monday, they would have your position filled by Wednesday.

[–]JeremyMo88 1266 points1267 points  (63 children)

I was about 33 when my passion for work went to 0 and I started not caring what they do. I focused more on my personal life and those in my life. Work was just that thing I do for a paycheck.

[–]paul-mccartney- 504 points505 points  (23 children)

Same with me, right down to being 33 years old.

A switch just flipped after 2020... I busted my ass for 12 months straight, got put on multiple projects, expanded my scope of work, mentored new hires, etc. Got a solid year-end review but nothing that's distinguished myself from anyone else who was phoning it in.

[–]JeremyMo88 165 points166 points  (7 children)

Yep, I had 6 years of excellent reviews but there was always an excuse for low raises and no promotions. "we only get so many (promotions) as a company" or "we are re-organizing" or "the merger just happened so its a bad time" and so on.

[–]ArcticBeavers 145 points146 points  (3 children)

This is exactly why we have the "work 3 years at a job then switch companies" mentality. It's the only way to properly get a raise/promotion

[–]JeremyMo88 37 points38 points  (0 children)

That's why I left my last job. Finally got my promotion and I can work from home.

[–]ripplerider 220 points221 points  (17 children)

Indeed. Something that helps me reduce the amount of fucks I give:

In 1 billion years, will anyone or anything give a shit about this? 100 years? 1 year?

[–]BeagleWrangler 117 points118 points  (2 children)

No one lays on their death bed and says they wished they had spent more time at the office.

[–]Cryptophagist 169 points170 points  (6 children)

Exactly this. I still do because its so engrained in our culture. They call me captain corrupter at work because I convince my co-workers to stand up for themselves and not let the company bully them. But I still have it so engrained in me I feel guilty taking off. Especially if its a mental health day because I haven't had a break in a year.

[–]wegotevrythngweneed 88 points89 points  (1 child)

Thank you! I really needed this today!

[–]wildcatoffense 9179 points9180 points 43 (237 children)

leave the house without peeing first

[–]undeniablybuddha 1868 points1869 points  (108 children)

Or going to sleep. Just go now so you don't have to wake up at 3am to pee

[–]Rayne_Bow_Brite 904 points905 points  (56 children)

I still have to wake up at 3am to pee.

[–]carriegood 525 points526 points  (39 children)

Even if I peed half an hour before bed, I pee again just to be safe. And then I wake up at 3 and 6 to pee some more.

[–]Anthro_DragonFerrite 322 points323 points  (8 children)

I pee twice durin' time o' peace and two in time of war

[–]BigTiddyVampireWaifu 205 points206 points  (7 children)

I pee two times before I pee two times, and then I pee two more.

[–]DefinitelyNotIndie 303 points304 points  (16 children)

My hair is running away from my face, my lower back constantly acts like I spent yesterday lifting bricks, and i cannot just eat whatever the hell i like anymore without getting fat. But goddamn my lying in bed without peeing game is rock solid. Sometimes i stay in bed for 12 hours, no problem. And it's satisfying as hell when i do pee, but as long as i'm lying in bed my body is cool with just holding it, no strain.

Weird post 30 flexes.

[–]PlopPlopPlopsy 69 points70 points  (7 children)

I feel like this would have been me if I didn't push out a kid. Used to have amazing bladder control, until pregnancy and birth ruined it

[–]dominus_aranearum 44 points45 points  (3 children)

Yeah, this actually doesn't always work as you get older. In men, their prostate grows throughout their life, eventually pressing on the urethra. This can cause issues where more frequent urination is required because he can't empty his bladder completely.

[–]Acxeon720 96 points97 points  (5 children)

I don't even sleep without taking a piss first.

[–]MiLaydee 314 points315 points  (5 children)

I have gotten all the way out to my car and thought, nope.... Lemme go back in and pee just in case! Hah!

[–]Sineater224 102 points103 points  (2 children)

I have been doing that since I was 16. Its a good habit.

[–]RealityRush 248 points249 points  (16 children)

The day you leave the house without peeing is the day you get pulled over in your car and have to hold it in while being lectured about speed limits.

[–]jimsmisc 90 points91 points  (10 children)

I once had to pee as my train was coming, but I was only about 25 minutes from my destination and would've had to wait a long time for the next one. So I just hopped on without peeing.

The train had some kind of malfunction about 15 minutes in, and we ended up stopped for well over an hour. I have never had to pee that bad in my life. 0/10 would not recommend, the risk isn't worth it people!

[–]_Fun_Employed_ 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I was coming here to say “there really isn’t anything I don’t feel like I could do now that I’m in my thirties then when I was in my 20’s but actually this is a good answer.”

[–]maxens_wlfr 45 points46 points  (1 child)

It's been like that since I'm a kid

[–]tootsietuesday 3332 points3333 points  (140 children)

Skip routine health check-ups

[–]noisyturtle 1186 points1187 points  (47 children)

So if I never got em in the first place I'm good to go, right?

[–]EhAhKen 379 points380 points  (25 children)

Its worked for me so far

[–]TheMightyIrishman 239 points240 points  (21 children)

33 here. Denial keeps me young, for the most part!

[–]Slammybutt 195 points196 points  (10 children)

I'm low key afraid to go see what's wrong with me. Nothing is hurting or anything, but I just know they're gonna be like "you should be dead".

[–]i_am_legend26 117 points118 points  (10 children)

If you go to the doctor than suddenly everything is wrong but if you never go than your alright. Atleast thats how I do it but im not quite 30 yet.

[–]KeenJelly 61 points62 points  (3 children)

What's a routine health checkup?

[–]neoastic 4617 points4618 points  (108 children)

Re-live the best days of your 20s or even teens. Preserve them where they are and just build yourself new memories.

[–]Qu4tr0 737 points738 points  (6 children)

Proper dad advice there, a damn good one at that.

[–]reallytrulymadly 283 points284 points  (11 children)

Ok but what about the people who barely even got to make those memories in the first place?

[–]I_was_dropped 217 points218 points  (2 children)

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my passing out drunk in a field and waking up the next morning to a little league soccer coach telling me that I need to leave.

[–]the_river_nihil 165 points166 points  (0 children)

If you can't handle me at my huffing nitrous in the Marshalls dressing room, you don't deserve me at my getting arrested in the middle of a reflecting pool

[–]dewyouhavethetime 291 points292 points  (35 children)

But what if you didn’t get to have any?

[–]Mad_Aeric 84 points85 points  (2 children)

Try to have some now? I wouldn't know, I haven't had any in my 30s either.

[–]CyberAssimilation 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I feel you man...I know your pain, that comment made me a bit sad

[–]frogstomp427 25 points26 points  (5 children)

I can vouch for this one. I'm a sentimental and emotional guy. My teens and early 20s were a powerful time for me. Lots of good, lots of bad, but still lots of meaningful memories. As time passed on, I found myself visiting old haunts and doing things we used to do to bring back that magic, but the sad thing is, no recreation of your best times will hold a candle to the original. You'll feel at some basic level that you want to recapture those feelings, but you'll never to able to. Trust me.

If the a good memory persisted for so long, it's probably been idealized and romanticized in your mind. You probably even remember it being better than it ever really was, making an even more unrealistic expectation of you reliving it. I don't think it's unhealthy to revere or remember fond times, and visit old places; it just depends on what you expect from it.

[–]MNJayW 3041 points3042 points  (197 children)

Move without movers.

[–]AnalyticalAlpaca 761 points762 points  (51 children)

Used movers for the first time a year ago. 0 regrets, I will use them again lol.

Cost ~$400 for some college kids to move my crap and drive the truck. I hate moving so much that using movers deletes a solid chunk of the associated pain.

[–]bunnyrut 302 points303 points  (14 children)

Watching those two young men hoist our couch up and trot it down the stairs into the truck with little effort convinced us to always hire movers. It would have taken us a long time to move the couch and then we would have been exhausted afterwards.

It's really worth the money.

[–]freefrogs 101 points102 points  (11 children)

The first time you see one guy bear hug a washing machine and walk up the stairs you're forever changed.

[–]fermenttodothat 130 points131 points  (9 children)

I was going to hire some last year. They wanted $1000 to move a one bedroom condo across town. I enlisted several younger friends instead lol.

[–]lolimazn 125 points126 points  (6 children)

This. It’s fucking expensive to move. I’ve moved every year for the past 8 years. Ain’t got the money to hire movers. Just me, my sedan and a really long shitty day.

[–]anne_c_rose 353 points354 points  (42 children)

Please can you come scream this at my husband... We're moving this year and he wants to do it by ourselves. WE GOT A DAMN PIANO, JESUS!

[–]othybear 92 points93 points  (4 children)

We spent $600 for our movers (same city, and we paid them to haul the furniture and boxes we’d already packed). It was the best money we spent. So worth it.

[–]kencleanairsystem 341 points342 points  (22 children)

Pizza and beer is not the commodity it once was. I’d help a buddy or my sister in law move a single piece of furniture. Beyond that, hire someone godamn movers.

[–]CowsRpeople2 229 points230 points  (10 children)

Reminds of the time i helped my work associate move. He said there would be 5 of us and he would spring for pizza and beers afterwards. Well, two guys didn’t show so it was only me, him and his 60+ year old cousin. And because it was just the three of us, he didn’t bother to order the pizza and his wife just reheated some frozen food. Great time. /s

[–]CO_PC_Parts 155 points156 points  (7 children)

when I was about 35 I got talked into helping a college friend move a huge ass house full of shit 50 miles, there were only 4 of us and it was killing us. I straight up asked him, "why didn't you hire movers, this is too much for us." and he claimed his wife looked into it and it was too expensive.

A week later their family was checked in on facebook for a week vacation at Disney World. I legit have only talked to them once since. I got no time for that shit.

[–]killcrew 155 points156 points  (7 children)

Getting your buddys to help is cool when youre moving from your first apartment to a house (or parents to first apartment). But once youre going from a house to another house,t heres just going to be too much shit and its a major time commitment.

[–]nyle2 18.6k points18.6k points 42653& 11 more (246 children)

Caring about what people think you should or should not be doing at 30.

[–]360Entertainment 2636 points2637 points  (113 children)

Came here to say this. I’m actually healthier as a 35 year old than I ever was as a 25 year old and can actually do stuff I couldn’t do in my 20’s.

[–]nannerbananers 1369 points1370 points  (84 children)

As a struggling 26 year old this is so nice to hear

[–]Shotgun_Rynoplasty 716 points717 points 3 (13 children)

At a certain point I realized what you should or shouldn’t be doing is all just relative to what actually makes you happy. I looked around at some of my friends and a lot of them had kids and got married in their early 20s. Some of them were blissfully happy and some were miserable. The ones that were happy were the ones that actually wanted to do that and not because it’s what was expected. It became completely apparent to me that doing what people expect will never make you happy. Everyone’s different and there is no one path to happiness. Just gotta find your own way and not worry what anyone else has to say

[–]nalligilaurakku 120 points121 points  (1 child)

"doing what people expect will never make you happy" is a powerful realization

[–]Curlaub 477 points478 points  (22 children)

I’m 35 and I’ve lost 50 lbs and cut two minutes off my 1.5 mile run this year. Don’t worry about age. Worry about activity level.

[–]360Entertainment 132 points133 points  (10 children)

You’re good, I still struggle from time to time.

[–]zombot4 116 points117 points  (4 children)

Same. I'm fitter and more active than I ever was in my teens and early 20s.

[–]JxY1989 349 points350 points  (34 children)

Yep, 30s are so much better than your 20s. Whoever said your 20s were the best years of your life was talking out their ass. Your 20s are the worst. Way too much pressure, no money, and an all round slog.

30s things begin to click into place.

[–]Silent_Discussion657 156 points157 points  (2 children)

I always tell people this. Like I know there is science behind it because our frontal lobe doesn't finish developing until our mid 20's but honestly, for anyone reading, it really does feel like you wake up one day and say, "you know what, I really don't give a fuck anymore." That's why I don't believe in anyone marrying before 25. The person I was in my 20's is not the person I am in my 30s. I wouldn't want to marry that person. I'm way more chill, and accepting now.

[–]basic_bitch- 76 points77 points  (17 children)

Just wait til you hit 40. I didn't really feel like I had this whole adulting thing down til about then.

[–]Julialagulia 31 points32 points  (7 children)

Ok thanks for this. My 30s really haven’t been great and I keep on seeing that they are supposed to be the best, so hoping my 40s pan out.

[–]soontwobee 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Just got back from the future, they do I checked with future you. Keep at it <3

[–]ashamedprotein 714 points715 points  (23 children)

I try not to care about what others think of me, but it's difficult when some people are just so judgmental. I was in the park last week minding my own business and just enjoying being out in nature, when some guy in a uniform came up to me and was all like, "Sir, it's 9 AM and you're clearly drunk" and "I'm going to have to ask you to put some pants on."

[–]con_science-404 455 points456 points  (10 children)

Right? Just cause I'm "addicted to ketamine" and enjoy "coked up hooker parties with astroglide and hair net" doesn't mean shit.

Jk Rowling didn't write Moby Dick untill she was as like 70.

Bill gates didn't create the air fryer until he was like 32.

List goes on homie

[–]Cru_Jones86 181 points182 points  (1 child)

Tesla didn't start building cars until many years after he was dead.

[–]NauticalWhisky 3556 points3557 points 2 (111 children)

Sit with poor posture. Everything will hurt.

Break those habits!

I bet at least one person sat up straighter.

[–]obscureferences 1323 points1324 points 2 (7 children)

It's ok, I just slouched extra hard to make up for them.

[–]CanaI_Volphied 5612 points5613 points  (232 children)

Getting in arguments on reddit, because 90% if the time you will be arguing with some punk-ass 17-23 year old.

[–]scw55 287 points288 points  (38 children)

Make your case and walk away.

You cannot argue on Reddit. You can state fact or opinion, but anything more is a waste of time.

[–]arizonahotrock 193 points194 points  (13 children)

For me, sometimes just typing the comment up and then deleting it without hitting post is enough for me. It gets it out of my system but doesn't further escalate the situation.

[–][deleted] 148 points149 points  (3 children)

With the life experience of a bag of potato chips in a cardboard box.

[–]BoisterousLaugh 253 points254 points  (40 children)

Soooo much this. The best part is they have all this crazy life experience at 13.

[–]Creamcheesemafia 183 points184 points  (21 children)

And they all think they are the first ones to learn about logical fallacies and so they try to use the terms against you but they do it incorrectly.

[–]Affectionate_Local59 99 points100 points  (4 children)

Redditors use logical fallacies like they’re yugioh cards.

[–]redyellowblue5031 104 points105 points  (2 children)

We all did, it’s just a few decades ago no one would listen to our bullshit for more than a few seconds. Now there’s a worldwide megaphone you can tap into at any moment.

[–]TheOrionNebula 52 points53 points  (4 children)

I finally got old enough to stop fighting with people while playing League. It only took me to age 40 but I finally did it.

[–]MniTain38 1268 points1269 points  (22 children)

Engage in internet drama.

[–]j0nnyboy 307 points308 points  (0 children)

That should be any and every age

[–]Katyecat 1833 points1834 points  (204 children)

Fall down...damn near threw my fucking back out.

[–]Barrrrrrnd 512 points513 points  (65 children)

Im 6’3”. The ground is a long way away. I can’t imagine at my age falling on to the floor.

[–]ansmit10 263 points264 points  (26 children)

6'-4", 195 lbs. I watch guys in the NFL about my age and size (if I had 20lbs more muscle) get absolutely obliterated, and then just jump up and jog back. If I took a single one of those hits I think I'd end up in the hospital lol

[–]Burdicus 141 points142 points  (16 children)

Aaron Jones, the running back for the Green Bay Packers, is 5'9" 207lbs. He is literally me, with 20lbs of muscle (realistically 30lbs of muscle and 10lbs less fat) and it blows my mind that he takes hits from 320lb linemen or 250lb beasts of linebackers on most plays where he has the ball.

[–]Cannonfury 58 points59 points  (3 children)

I'm 5'1, male..in my 30s. I dont mind being short. Falls are fine atm xD

[–]smorkenborkenforken 68 points69 points  (12 children)

This is a great reason to take any martial art. Learning to fall while minimizing damage is one of the greatest skills you can ever learn, is taught in damned near every martial art, and is the one martial art skill that you will inevitably end up using. I've taken Hapkido and Aikido. Loved them both for different reasons. Have only ever had to use my fall training to protect myself.

Edit: typos

[–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (50 children)

and never sneeze while lying down or your neck is out for the next week

[–]wayfaringpanda 89 points90 points  (34 children)

I managed to pull my back while sitting. Sitting! Not sitting down, not getting up, just existing in my office chair. Back spasmed suddenly and BAM! stuck in bed for the next 48 hours with ibuprofen and heating pads.

Being older is fun 😅

[–]Rednaxel6 64 points65 points  (13 children)

I once pulled my back moving an empty cardboard box.

[–]roundroundabout 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Yesterday i stood at a bar, not slumped over a bit, i just stood there. STRAIGHT. And my back just went "Let me play you the song of my people" and it hurt for a good minute, and i was just STANDING... Being 30 and 300+ lbs is fun.

[–]Lyrakish 665 points666 points  (52 children)

Regret your teens or twenties because "everyone else has their life together." It takes time and patience, your 30s will still be about growth.

[–]bignuggetsbigworld 242 points243 points  (37 children)

I am 27, but this hit me like a brick yesterday. My friends are getting married, buying houses, having kids and I am…not. I try to remember not to compare and that our lives are different. But it’s hard. :(.

[–]UpperTea936 230 points231 points  (5 children)

Please trust me on this, after the excitement of the weddings, decorating the new house, and bringing home the new babies wears off, they will be wildly envious of all of the freedom you have that they absolutely do not have. I know it might not help 100%, but I swear it’s the truth, just revel in this level of freedom for as long as you have it.

[–]TheBerlinWaller 32 points33 points  (7 children)

29 here, turning 30 in July 2022. Suffered a Pulmonary Embolism last Thanksgiving and I'm still on the sidelines. It's been difficult because last October was the first time in my life that I felt some traction coming on. We're gonna get there in the end!!

[–]fortherestless 3219 points3220 points  (110 children)

Set, follow or care about arbitrary rules or norms about what you should or shouldn’t do based on your age, aside from legality 👍🏻

[–]Minute-Impress4935 381 points382 points  (7 children)

Stop exercising. Or you may never start again!

[–]mlotto7 546 points547 points  (19 children)

Make the mistake of thinking the best youthful days are behind you. Live young. Enjoy every stage of life. Age is just a number.

[–]TheWaste88 92 points93 points  (4 children)

This. I wasted years of my life. I’m about to turn 33 but I just stopped drinking and I’m getting my shit together again. I’m not dead yet.

[–]FreeThinkerDon 263 points264 points  (3 children)

Repeat the same mistakes that you did before your 30's!

[–]HotSpicedChai 1001 points1002 points  (136 children)

Cocaine, just seems like it’s all got fentanyl or super coke in it killing all the older celebs off.

[–]PapaRozzy725 251 points252 points  (32 children)

One of my best friends found this out the hard way. May he rest in peace

[–]partypartea 196 points197 points  (16 children)

My old classmate just lost his teenage daughter to this. Fucking sucks.

Don't do drugs kids, but if you're gonna use, always test your shit.

[–]Shad0wFaxMachine 73 points74 points  (5 children)

My brother also died this way. Sending love ❤️

[–]Wutchu_fitna_fuc_wit 515 points516 points  (48 children)

And all it takes is a simple $20 fentanyl testing kit. Sure blow out an 8ball on your birthday just test that shit first

[–]DonQuixoteDesciple 709 points710 points  (24 children)

This guy advocating for a responsible 8ball is a hero

[–]JimmyTheChimp 158 points159 points  (21 children)

It's funny but it makes sense. If clubs/festivals etc. could give out testing kits we'd have less people going to hospital.

[–]MountainEmployee 75 points76 points  (4 children)

A lot of the festivals where I am will have a testing booth.

[–]khal_Jayams 132 points133 points  (7 children)

I did not know this was a thing. Thanks, helpful cocaine advice guy!

[–]fairfishofnewwater 248 points249 points  (48 children)

Avoiding the Dr. I ignored symptoms for a year before I ended in a doctor's office and surprise I felt so bad because I was dying.

[–]groovyusername 88 points89 points  (44 children)

Ummm can we get a little storytime bro?

[–]fairfishofnewwater 196 points197 points  (43 children)

In 2014 I started just generally feeling bad. It was a very busy time at work and I just chalked it up to eating poorly and not getting enough exercise. Work settled down and I went back to my regular healthy eating and regular exercise but the symptoms stayed. I didn't realize it was related but I weirdly started getting mold in the toilet. Then around Feb of 2015 I started loosing weight alarmingly fast. Finally I went to see the Dr. Turned out I was type 1 diabetic and my body had been eating itself for fuel. I ate low carb to begin with so that probably allowed me to get by for awhile. Towards the end I was drinking so much I figured instead of just water I would get some Gatorade, which is full of sugar. That really pushed me over the edge.

Edit: I was 34 at time of diagnosis

[–]groovyusername 49 points50 points  (30 children)

whooooa so do you take daily insulin now? How does the mold in the toilet thing work? Im sorry if this is a lot of questions Im just genuinely curious.

[–]-screamin- 104 points105 points  (29 children)

Diabetic urine (edit edit: that is, the urine of someone with uncontrolled diabetes) is full of glucose. Mould presumably uses that glucose-rich source to grow quicker.

edit: fun fact - in ancient times, physicians would taste their patients' urine to know if they were diabetic or not. Blows my mind. They wouldn't have even known the first thing about how diabetes comes about, but like five thousand years ago they were diagnosing diabetes, and recommending people fast and exercise to help with it.

[–]smashmyburger 1369 points1370 points  (190 children)

Probably date a teenager.

[–]Theoretical_Girls 578 points579 points  (96 children)

Before that it's also stupid. I tried dating a 19yo when I was 28. It was like trying to date a child.

[–]mothwhimsy 283 points284 points  (17 children)

I'm 25 and I can't date anyone under 21. They all remind me of my partner's little sister, who is an adult now but still makes me think of a 14 year old.

No hate to anyone in a legal relationship, I just wouldn't be able to do it

[–]GeneralFactotum 504 points505 points  (47 children)

Don't get hurt ever. At this age the Dr. will tell you... "Sorry, this pain will be with you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

[–]humanHamster 213 points214 points  (26 children)

Yeah. I am a runner and just turned 31. Every time I get a twinge of knee pain or a slight discomfort in a muscle I immediately go to "Oh man, this is it, I am done with running forever!" followed by a mild depression for a few days while I reset the knee/muscle.

Luckily the pain does go away, or at least it has so far...fingers crossed!

[–]GRVrush2112 304 points305 points  (45 children)

As a metalhead, my mosh-pit days are left in my 20s. I'll contently headbang in towards the back half of the venue.

[–]Mitochandrea 61 points62 points  (9 children)

Being in the pit is so fun but for some reason I’m always worried someone’s going to knock me in the mouth. Even as a teenager I’d only be in a few minutes before I was like “wait! my teeth!”

[–]BjornLakenstrazen 31 points32 points  (11 children)

Im 29 and going to see Gojira tomorrow. I'm hoping my knees and ears recover fast

[–]flubberFuck 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Have you ever headbanged so much that you couldn't move your head around ? Sucks ass lol

[–]GotThemBabyLungs 427 points428 points  (33 children)

Stop Listening to new music.

There’s good new bands and artists everywhere.

Even if the charts don’t represent this.

[–]onixannon 101 points102 points  (9 children)

Commit a felony.

Seriously. From 30-40, you're at a point in your life where you absolutely NEED stability. A minor felony can cost you 5-7 years of your life that you could've used to prepare for when you get too old to work.

[–]gorli- 272 points273 points  (6 children)

Think ur old and life’s defined by being 30

[–]Ineversaid 501 points502 points  (34 children)

Think you are old.

I did so much after becoming 30, buying a house, travel more than ever before to see nature or historical places, started seeing great results on the investments I started from $0 in my mid 20s that by age 50-60 should be $500k-1M, learned photography, buying old shit from my childhood and teens to sell to young kids today who wants to be retro. Life really starts for real at 30.

[–]HeisenBo 246 points247 points  (8 children)

Anything… before you stretch.

[–]neinnein79 78 points79 points  (6 children)

Just turned 50 and the things that would upset me in my 20s I could give 2 shits about now. You just stop giving a fuck about the small stupid stuff.

[–]dignified_fish 801 points802 points  (166 children)

Trust a fart

[–]atx3000 518 points519 points  (102 children)

It’s disturbing to me how common this comment is. Am I the only person in the world who hasn’t shit their pants (or even come close) as an adult? I can’t imagine life where farting and makes you worried you’re going to shit yourself.

[–]PamelaFinklestein 331 points332 points  (7 children)

I woke up the other afternoon and someone had shit my pants.

[–]TackYouCack 179 points180 points  (16 children)

I am 43, and I shat myself in the hallway at work this year. On St. Patrick's Day. Wearing a kilt. Apparently, there was something really wrong with my lunch because I didn't have enough time to turn around, take 3 steps, and get into the bathroom. The horrific cramps didn't even hit me until it was go time. I felt perfectly fine, and the next second I am standing in a puddle of my own filth.

This had some serious force behind it. Like a septic tank exploded in my guts. I have never been so horrified, disgusted, and ashamed of myself at the same time.

edit - since a few of you liked it, I'll add some of the details.

I work in an internal medicine office. This happened right after I closed the door to a patient room. A patient stepped in the puddle, and a doctor stepped on the paper towels that someone put down over it.

I had been drinking Lipton Watermelon Tea and the blast from my ass was festively green.

Had I been thinking, I could've just caught everything with the kilt, but I turned into a nightmarish version of a deer in headlights. I ruined both my socks and my shoes.

The aforementioned 2-steps-away bathroom is a patient bathroom, which is connected to our POC lab. You know, where people leave specimens in a small door that connects the bathroom to the lab. I had to text a coworker to get my scrub pants and pass them through the silver door while I tried not to let on what was going on. Shortly after that, people realized what the puddle was.

In a panic, I paged my bosses and told them I had to leave sick. When they came to take over for me, they questioned why I was still there. I told them I needed socks. They brought me some nice hospital socks, and I cleaned out my shoes as best I could.

I own up to all this whenever it comes up, and told my bosses I'm ok if people make fun of me for it. Most people have been super sympathetic.

The lunch was from Noodles & Co.

[–]EmergencySnail 41 points42 points  (3 children)

I'm with you... I haven't shit myself at work (yet) but I have seriously come close too many times. Like I'll be at my desk and suddenly its time to go... right the fuck NOW... and then I quickly waddle to the bathroom doing that super awkward "please don't shit yourself" walk that I am CERTAIN everyone watching is aware of. And then almost losing control right as I get into the stall... and finally losing control when the pants come down... it's a struggle... nobody ever told me turning 40 would be this bad

[–]ToastyBB 56 points57 points  (1 child)

I started working out earlier this year so i started eating a lot of protein. farted liquid shit in my shorts and was late to work....23 years old

[–]coinpile 36 points37 points  (1 child)

I never had a problem with it and just brushed these comments off, until one time when I had a very close call with one… It only takes once. Be careful out there everyone.

[–]The_Blendernaut 65 points66 points  (4 children)

At 53, I can't even remember 30 or what I did between 30 and 50. Come to think of it, I can't remember anything.

[–]I_Loot_Hamburgers 222 points223 points  (36 children)

Mosh pit, its a young mans game.

[–]abthomps 99 points100 points  (1 child)

In my early thirties I was still like "Hell yeah!" but now that I'm closer to 40 I'll spend extra for a seat in the balcony and just watch the kids beat the shit out of each other.

[–]silverblossum 71 points72 points  (7 children)

I'm a 32 woman, stayed in a mosh pit for 40mins at a festival last week. Just wanted to say this because I worry about younger people thinking life is over in a few years for them.

[–]jmcgit 33 points34 points  (5 children)

It's a game for people who have some level of leg strength. Pre-pandemic I was all about them, but at this point I'm just too out of shape. I tried a bit recently and felt like I was gonna lose my footing, the floor is filled with spilled beer, and some people weren't exactly following the kind of etiquette I'd expect.

I hope to return one day but not immediately.

[–]SomeBirdguy_ 31 points32 points  (2 children)

flirt with 14 y/o

looks at my algebra 1 teacher

[–]SquirtleSquadSgt 165 points166 points  (11 children)

Date someone who cannot purchase liquor

[–]samiam871 158 points159 points  (20 children)

Drink excessively, the hangovers are brutal past age 30.

[–]MadFergus_7 1483 points1484 points 2 (89 children)

I do not understand this. I did everything after 30, studied martial arts, wrote an unpublishable garbage screenplay, bought a house, got married, went back into the military, got out of the military, did some other things, traveled, wrote, loved many a crazy woman and fought plenty of bad men. Now on the edge of 50, I have started a family and I am re-inventing my life again, I pushed through an intense academic program while working 50 plus hours a week and raising my daughter. I can still keep up with the 20-year-olds in the gym and have read more books than most people my age. Recovery from workouts takes longer and hangovers hurt a lot more, but I am not stopping.

live your life man, never stop learning and growing and exploring, there is no reason to ever quit. For the record I did not come from money, I came from a shit home in a shit place

[–]ivigilanteblog 198 points199 points  (3 children)

Best comment. Definitely fake because nobody does more stuff than me, but still a great comment.

[–]monstertots509[🍰] 148 points149 points  (9 children)

Does anyone else wonder what the "did some other things" are? It's right in the middle of a list of pretty specific things which makes it seems sketchy.

[–]HoodsFrostyFuckstick 87 points88 points  (3 children)

Loads of cocain and hookers

[–]KalessinDB 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Actually scrolled back up to see if this was OP

[–]AichSmize 378 points379 points  (31 children)

Start letting your weight creep up.

Actually, that's something you should never do, at any age.

[–]Suzettebishop89 156 points157 points  (27 children)

Have your mum do all your laundry and cleaning for you. 😖😖