×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Eldrxtch 3914 points3915 points  (161 children)

Oh yes 100%. The only reason I’d be hesitant is i’m very likely to forget

[–]Total-Willow5165 897 points898 points  (55 children)

This is the reason I never went on the pill and got a coil instead.

[–]ObsessiveNihilist 620 points621 points  (34 children)

Same, but the arm implant for me. Can't forget something jammed into your skin.

And bonus points since Covid since I can make loonies think I got microchipped.

(I do clarify after before anyone thinks I'm actually spreading fake news)

[–]g4vr0che 174 points175 points  (10 children)

TBF in my experience anyone gleefully bragging about being microchipped is pretty clearly being sarcastic, and I usually chuckle. I'd die laughing if you did that with me lol.

[–]ObsessiveNihilist 73 points74 points  (0 children)

You hope but man some people in the 2020's you really gotta emphasize sarcasm.

[–]Belphegorite 49 points50 points  (1 child)

I couldn't wait to get my mind control chip and have Bill Gates take over my life. That guy has a shitload of cash; clearly he makes better decisions than I do.

[–]TroutSnifferrr 27.5k points27.5k points 294108& 19 more (299 children)

Yes, I have this theory that every man’s phone alarm would go off at the same time at the bar, and we would raise our bc pill in the air to cheers all taking it at the same time

[–]AstroCat1000 7775 points7776 points  (88 children)

This is the universe I want to live in.

[–]castaway666666 3994 points3995 points  (70 children)

As a woman this is the universe i want to live in too

[–]Regallybeagley 972 points973 points  (26 children)

I would go broke buying them all shots for being so responsible lol

[–]-Don-Draper- 321 points322 points  (9 children)

The alcohol renders the pill useless. monkey's paw curls

[–]clackingCoconuts 476 points477 points  (22 children)

For some reason in college I thought it'd be a good idea to take my bc pill before bedtime, at 11 pm. I've chased that shit down with beer, shots, you name it. I would literally carry my little cartridge and pull it out at bars, parties, and at the library (finals and midterms week).

[–]Caris1 326 points327 points  (2 children)

Me and all my friends did this. 9pm at the bar, several alarms go off, we all take our pills together. Good times.

[–]UusiSisu 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My bestie and I took the same brand, coincidentally and were on same cycle. A few times we’ve had to borrow and replace the next day.

[–]Jsnooots 1228 points1229 points  (15 children)

Chest bumps...random pounds... knowing looks...and group shout- outs...!!!(reggae hooornnnn!!!)

[–]lumberjackedcanadian 551 points552 points  (7 children)

Bwaaa bwaaa bwaaa bwaaaaaaaaaaa!

[–]ChaniiB 134 points135 points  (2 children)

The first time I’ve seen it written like that and it’s a thing of beauty!

[–]Season2chunisalright 961 points962 points 2 (8 children)

“TO THE BABIES WE NEVER HAD WITH THE WOMEN WE NEVER LOVED!” “AYYYYYYEEEEEEE!”

[–]Local-Idi0t 356 points357 points  (7 children)

It's ladies night and all the gentleman are on the pill. Ladies check your panties at the door cause you won't need them.

[–]Classicfatdab 148 points149 points  (0 children)

This mans living in the future…. 2122

[–]nikzaar 26.5k points26.5k points 623& 11 more (197 children)

Ofcourse. Dont want my cleenex box getting pregnant

[–]TheMobHasSpoken 8901 points8902 points 66 (42 children)

Aww, so that's where those mini-packs come from!

[–]Professional-Pipe-44 2149 points2150 points  (22 children)

Are you trying to say the stork doesn’t bring them?

[–]Glitter_berries 626 points627 points  (21 children)

Everything I’ve been told was a lie

[–]Jak_n_Dax 250 points251 points  (15 children)

Those responsible for the lies have been sacked.

[–]hailhell 188 points189 points  (11 children)

Those responsible for sacking those who lied have also been sacked.

[–]Slow_End_2350 177 points178 points  (5 children)

I don't know why buy I love this comment.

[–]RCSmileDude 630 points631 points  (108 children)

You fuck the box?

[–]GrimmRetails 1327 points1328 points  (35 children)

It's got a hole, doesn't it?

[–]camefrom_All 600 points601 points  (29 children)

Step 1: cut a hole in the box

[–]SuedePenguin 411 points412 points  (19 children)

Step 2: Put your dick in that booox

[–]JayTV1027 348 points349 points  (15 children)

Step 3: Make her open the box

[–]SuedePenguin 239 points240 points  (10 children)

And that’s the way you do it!

[–]ChemistryRespecter 132 points133 points  (7 children)

We finally have the answer to WHAAAAT'S IN THE BOOOX?

[–]JuicedGrape 105 points106 points  (0 children)

Please don't make it sound like it's not normal.

[–]ClownfishSoup 111 points112 points  (46 children)

You don't? Man, you're missing out!

[–]RCSmileDude 57 points58 points  (37 children)

Be right back, I’m gonna try that!

[–]Thrazun 123 points124 points  (29 children)

Curious about this too. My friend explained how screwing fruit is gay because you are blowing a load into something that contains seed.

Looking for an alternative.

[–]chicxulubq 118 points119 points  (2 children)

That's the dumbest thing I've heard today, and that's impressive.

[–]-____deleted_____- 85 points86 points  (5 children)

That’s enough of the Internet for today

[–]Barry_McKackiner 18.7k points18.7k points 413201917& 70 more (130 children)

Yes.

Because there's no better feeling than deploying the troops behind enemy lines without the worry of one of them becoming a POW for 18 years.

edit: haha. Glad ya'll like my euphemism. 9 years on reddit and my top comment is about creampies.

[–]melvinfosho 2166 points2167 points  (18 children)

Doesn’t that make you a POW for 18 years?

[–]Gandalfasaur 282 points283 points  (6 children)

Put a helmet on that soldier! As I was told many years ago lol.

[–]zestytwirls 1031 points1032 points  (18 children)

As a woman who snickered at this, these war metaphors for spunk are gold.

[–]thundercod5 19.5k points19.5k points  (397 children)

Yes. I world prefer both genders have birth control and that both are actively using it to give the best possible chance of no accidental pregnancies.

[–]TikkiTakiTomtom 4800 points4801 points  (284 children)

Easy. Just wait till you reach 60 and have sex. Never fails to work every time.

Edit: Yes I’m aware men are still viable beyond 60 lol. The last sentence was a double entendre. Either it works in preventing pregnancies or it works in doing just that.

[–]PhilosoPhoenix 2114 points2115 points  (177 children)

Do you mean if you are having sex with a woman who has undergone menopause? Otherwise, men are making viable sperm until they die

[–]elchiguire 3892 points3893 points 2 (143 children)

My 68 year old dad and my 3 year old sister confirm that.

[–]SL1NDER 4456 points4457 points 23 (45 children)

I know what you mean.

But it took me a moment.

[–]CaIamitea 1187 points1188 points  (13 children)

Yep, that moment was a wild ride.

[–]TOkidd 222 points223 points  (12 children)

It really was.

[–]chykin 159 points160 points  (10 children)

I also went on the ride, it took someone else's comment to get me off

[–]Skyboy91 111 points112 points  (6 children)

I know what you mean.

But it took me a moment.

[–]arrow100605 851 points852 points  (4 children)

I too knew what he ment.

But now I cant unsee when you thought.

[–]LuckyBall3788 271 points272 points  (15 children)

So glad I’m not the only one who misunderstood that 😰

[–]Tricky-Wheel7977 388 points389 points  (1 child)

At first I was like "whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA"

[–]lessFrozenHodor 438 points439 points  (3 children)

Poor phrasing, my friend.

[–]Maanavdv 260 points261 points  (6 children)

I was a picosecond away from calling the FBI

[–]misterborden 78 points79 points  (3 children)

I had already called them before I realized…sorry u/elchiguire, they’re on their way

[–]Collins_Michael 60 points61 points  (1 child)

Ladies and gentlemen, we got em.

I mean... carry on, fellow redditors.

[–]throwaway_0x90 33 points34 points  (0 children)

.......what

[–]flaccidpedestrian 147 points148 points  (0 children)

yeah that sentence aint right...

[–]elchiguire 318 points319 points  (30 children)

Um, no. My dad had his 2nd child at 65, three years ago. And I’m sure if his 37 year old girlfriend was still around he’d keep going.

[–]U_L_Uus 263 points264 points  (24 children)

We have an idiom at my country that says "old men have no teeth but they keep the seeds", and that's for a reason

[–]PMme_bobs_n_vagene 52 points53 points  (6 children)

What country is that? Big fan of idioms here

[–]U_L_Uus 79 points80 points  (5 children)

Spain. Also, it's more of a transcription than a translation

[–]Books-McGee 4611 points4612 points  (385 children)

Sure, I see no reason not to.

[–]justAPhoneUsername 1002 points1003 points  (205 children)

I'm curious what other uses/effects it would have. My sister originally started taking the pill to regulate acne and mood. I wonder if male birth control would do similar things

[–]Quinnley1 860 points861 points  (88 children)

I wonder what kind of side effects it might have and then men will have to decide if they accept the risks like women have had to. I eagerly got the birth control pill the second I was legally able to. My skin cleared up, I lost a bunch of weight, my frequent migraines almost completely disappeared, and my mood stabilized ... it was amazing. I loved the benefitical side effects if gave me in addition to keeping me from an unintended pregnancy.

Unfortunately, I also developed a rare side effect: permanently elevated blood pressure. Developed at 18 years old while in the best shape of my life, didn't smoke or have any other outside factors leading to developing it, no family history. I immediately got off birth control and it stayed elevated. Now I have to be on prescriptions for blood pressure for the rest of my life or risk heart attack or stroke because took birth control for 2 years.

[–]halfsieapsie 293 points294 points  (19 children)

I'm sorry that happened to you :( That sucks.

All the great effects you got, I got the opposite. No high blood pressure, but breakout, moody, gained weight. Didn't help with the pain either.

All these men are "of course I'll take it", but in reality the pill has so many side effects for so many

[–]GeordieJumper 64 points65 points  (11 children)

True but I like to think I'd take it to stop my spouse from having to go back on it once we've finished having children. In reality I'll likely just get the snip rather than her having to run the associated risks of birth control

[–]ithoughtitwasfun 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Same here. Weight gain, libido decreased, migraines, acne, etc. but….. it helped my menstruation. (Heavy, painful flow because of a fibroid) So if I were given the options again, (between fibroid and bc) I would choose bc.

[–]__Corvus__ 2335 points2336 points 2 (96 children)

The only reason I wouldn’t take one is because I’m not doing the sex

Edit: But for real tho. Women already go through so much with their periods, the fact that they have to carry the child, give birth to them, and all the other bs they have to deal with just by walking outside (catcalling, constant fear, etc.). This is literally the least a guy can do for his girl to make life a little easier for them.

[–]dejohan123 592 points593 points  (23 children)

Hey, you never know. That's why I wear a condom 24/7.

[–]Amphibutter 186 points187 points  (11 children)

...the same condom??

[–]__Corvus__ 209 points210 points  (4 children)

People have told my my face was protection enough

[–]tias 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I just wear the condom over my face

[–]ThrowawayIntensifies 609 points610 points  (18 children)

People always warn you to stay away from things that lower your sperm count.

I actively seek them out.

Hot tub? Only if it’s hot enough to roast chestnuts.

[–]Tahoeclown 182 points183 points  (11 children)

Read an article (Mens Health maybe?) were a guy sat in 112 degree water every day for for 45 min for 3 weeks straight and apparently went sterile for 3 months.

Edit: Found this informative website on the topic

[–]Helpful_Classroom204 296 points297 points  (0 children)

“I don’t know, I’d feel more comfortable if you wore a condom”

“But baby, I sat in 112 degree water every day for 45 min for 3 weeks straight!”

[–]bozoconnors 72 points73 points  (0 children)

lol - & in addition, apparently also blew onto microscope slides for three months & was often seen peering into a microscope afterwards & shouting "yesssssss!!" (except that last time - "damn")

[–]YouAreAvinaLaff 13.2k points13.2k points 5423& 5 more (74 children)

I'm already on it, it's called face/personality.

[–]ovni121 1122 points1123 points  (2 children)

Verbal contraception : I asked a girl out, she said "No".

[–]BickeringPlum 1620 points1621 points  (24 children)

[–]EliseoSpurrier 2087 points2088 points  (21 children)

Went to my doctor

Doctor: You’re overweight

Me: I want a second opinion

Doctor: You’re ugly

[–]MajorDanger85 270 points271 points  (7 children)

Don’t forget crippling depression. Can’t forget that.

[–]onewilybobkat 114 points115 points  (1 child)

He already said personality! /s

[–]locotx 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He didn't say which one

[–]trocar88 360 points361 points  (9 children)

I hope they’re made in gummy bear form.

My plan would be to keep them in a big bowl on my kitchen table & take a handful everyday.

[–]MoguoTheMoogle 10.4k points10.4k points 3 (728 children)

Abso-fucking-lutely YES a million times yes!!!

[–]crandallvxzfgvwsaq 4421 points4422 points 3 (156 children)

Straight away, it would be a dick move if I expected my girlfriend to take stuff if I'm not willing to

[–]DaphneButt 1573 points1574 points  (32 children)

i would do in a blink as well?

do you know what kind of toll 3 vasectomies have on a person???

[–]earth_inked 737 points738 points  (10 children)

SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP

[–]GimmeTheGunKaren 112 points113 points  (6 children)

Serenity by Jan

[–]TacoInABag 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits babe!

[–]khenziekaye 212 points213 points  (0 children)

SNIP SNAP

[–]corf3l 3363 points3364 points  (167 children)

Think I'd probably still rely on rubbers
Shooting a load without one and relying on it being blanks... I'd be too paranoid about it

[–]Cannonball_86 3013 points3014 points  (95 children)

Rubbers will still help against things OTHER than pregnancy too - so, wearing them is still a good idea

[–]DiagonallyStripedRat 742 points743 points  (92 children)

It's not a factor in exclusive couples, though.

[–]Swiss-ArmySpork 1173 points1174 points  (84 children)

Nah my wife gets infections out of nowhere all the time.

Edit: my silly joke backfired

[–]intredasted 617 points618 points  (7 children)

Know what you mean, bud, mine even got pregnant off a toilet seat at her office Christmas party.

These things happen.

[–]Powderboy5 188 points189 points  (5 children)

That's weird, my girlfriend said the same thing. Do you by chance know anyone named Katie?

[–]intredasted 266 points267 points  (4 children)

That is my wife's name, but it can't be her.

She has no boyfriend, silly - she just has a friend who happens to be a boy.

He's a cool guy, he even bought me a pair of noise-cancelling headphones for when he comes over for one of their wrestling sessions.

[–]MrPopanz 968 points969 points  (15 children)

You should have a word with her boyfriend.

[–]robotnique 360 points361 points  (11 children)

About his investment portfolio?

[–]wontootreefor5 127 points128 points  (1 child)

He was supposed to buy me a new Xbox sometime in Q3!

[–]SiberianToaster 426 points427 points  (18 children)

Not to mention the rubber desensitizes me so I get to go twice as long. That extra 30 seconds makes all the difference

[–]AriandtheSevenRings 104 points105 points  (17 children)

I never trusted female birth control when I was on it. So I feel you in this one.

[–]Lutgerion 2548 points2549 points  (69 children)

No.

Source: He gae

[–]DVeagle74 1166 points1167 points  (37 children)

Same!

I mean me and my husband keep trying for kids but it just isn't happening!

[–]Rrraou 622 points623 points  (6 children)

Have you tried turning him off and on again ?

[–]Kartarsh 231 points232 points  (19 children)

I have a female friend married to another woman. Someone asked if they were trying for a baby, and she said no, and was kind of confused. Then they responded with "oh well you never know it might just happen!"

The person was someone who knew that she was married to another woman, and had started out the conversation asking how her wife was. No, my friend is not trans and is very stereotypically female in appearance (long hair, wears dresses, etc).

[–]Glitter_berries 191 points192 points  (3 children)

This sounds like something I would say then I would wake up at 3am realising that I’m an idiot.

[–]mdwrds 177 points178 points  (12 children)

As a lesbian and also as a non-biological parent (they have NONE of my DNA) I can't even tell you how often people say things like this without thinking about it. "She has your eyes/hair/smile" etc. It's hilarious and I also love it because it means people view us as a normal couple!

[–]Gyddanar 92 points93 points  (5 children)

My twin sister and her gf just had a baby girl.

The number of times I've seen a resemblance that should not exist is hilarious to me.

[–]FadeToPuce 71 points72 points  (2 children)

Those baby mirror neurons are quick to start picking up facial expressions. That baby may not share genes but almost everything it’s learning about how a human like her is supposed to react and behave, she’s picking up from her moms. She’s gonna pick up some expressions from your sister and some from your sister’s partner. Expect the same thing to happen with vocal patterns and even posture. Later you’ll start seeing it in sense of humor and other socializing behaviors. Very little of it will be perfect mimicry, but you’ll be able to pick out the roots.

[–]Lutgerion 184 points185 points  (2 children)

Keep trying, in time you'll surely both be daddies!

[–]TheUnseenForce 152 points153 points  (10 children)

When I saw this question, I was like… does PrEP count?

[–]diciembres 95 points96 points  (6 children)

I was about to say - I’m on PrEP and I liken it to birth control all the time.

[–]Pficky 64 points65 points  (5 children)

Lmaoo I call it my gay birth control.

[–]diciembres 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Same. 😅 just got out of my PrEP checkup actually. If you’re in the US it’s now law that it has be 100% covered by insurance (that includes copays and lab work, as well as the cost of the medicine itself).

[–]garbagecan7620 1071 points1072 points  (73 children)

Yes, why not

[–]manofsleep 520 points521 points  (13 children)

Because you’ve got to have sex for it to work.

[–]becomesaflame 382 points383 points  (6 children)

Definitely not true. 100% success rate if you don't have sex

[–]manofsleep 130 points131 points  (4 children)

Definitely true with skydiving too, simply by not skydiving, my herbal medication prevents skydiving death rates at 100% success.

[–]GatoMcwitch 1323 points1324 points  (131 children)

No. Because I got an irreversible vasectomy. If I was still verile then absolutely

[–]WhySoNaCl-y 568 points569 points  (78 children)

Came here to say this,

Had three planned kids. My wife did the IUD thing between 2 & 3. It wasn’t good for the sexy time. (Probably 2 boys under 3 didn’t help either)

Got the chop in 2019 and covid was good for the marriage. I mean what else are you going to do when you can hardly leave the house.

Edit: I told my wife about the dialog going on here. She comments that the IUD took away her “drive.” Just a FYI.

[–]seeasea 484 points485 points  (17 children)

Some of us went down the "can't stand your face anymore" route in lockdown

[–]BasroilII 407 points408 points  (12 children)

This is why doggy exists.

[–]CaptainSeagul 220 points221 points  (9 children)

Uhh, I really hope you mean doggystyle.

[–]Nodnarbius 256 points257 points  (4 children)

Of course. She won't stop licking my face in missionary.

[–]Smoolz 50 points51 points  (47 children)

What do you mean by the iud not being good for sex? Sorry if that's too sensitive to ask but my partner just got an iud a couple days ago and is in the healing process.

[–]BlazingThunder30 72 points73 points  (3 children)

Not OP but hormonal IUDs are similar to any hormonal birth control in that they may have side effects like less sex drive

[–]CodingBlonde 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Doctors all claim that hormonal IUDs won’t cause problems because the hormones are “localized.” Hey doc, go fuck yourself that’s entirely not true. Sure maybe it’s not as bad as the pill and the risk is lower, but it’s not non-zero. I’ve had a female doctor treat me like I was a problem because I didn’t want hormonal BC. After the last pill made me suicidal for absolutely no reason at all, I refuse to go through that again. It’s ridiculous to have doctors pressure me and try to tell me I can’t have a diaphragm because its efficacy is lower. I don’t give a shit, a diaphragm won’t make me contemplate death, just give it to me. Had to go to planned parenthood just to avoid being challenged.

[–]raginwhoremoans 86 points87 points  (22 children)

I'm guessing the pain involved. I managed to fall pregnant whilst having the IUD... with twins! The coil (Kyleena) was super painful during intercourse but I was told I needed to have tried it before I could get my tubes tied. I presume it was inserted incorrectly? So much for that!

Not that I'm bitter or anything but I'm ready to pop so IUD are a bit of a sore subject!

[–]Naitra 181 points182 points  (13 children)

I needed to have tried it before I could get my tubes tied

This is some grade A bullshit being peddled by gynecologists in US. You can get your tubes tied as long as your doctor isn't a hidebound cunt who thinks they can interfere with what people want to do with their own bodies.

I heard so many horror stories about doctors trying to prevent people from getting permanent birth control.

Unfortunately only option is to find a doctor that is professional and doesn't mix their own opinion with their job when dealing with patients.

[–]Gonzobot 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Better option is to name and shame the practicing quacks who manipulate women based on their biases from yesteryear, so women don't go to them and get manipulated

[–]Negafox 120 points121 points  (8 children)

Nope. I already had a vasectomy. Snippy-snippy!

[–]NGD80 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm also the proud owner of a Hollywood pistol.

All the action, none of the risk

[–]RanBS 813 points814 points  (203 children)

of course. im actually amazed that with all of our technology this still isn't a real thing

[–]skippy94 473 points474 points  (119 children)

They've tried many times, and a couple newer ones are showing promise.

[–]MrFahrenkite 271 points272 points  (93 children)

I feel like this has been the case for years, maybe decades, but I still never hear of anything going to market

[–]MountainDude95 29.8k points29.8k points 3451411& 32 more (937 children)

Yes. Makes more sense to unload the gun than shoot at a bulletproof vest.

[–]techievxczvzxcb 5635 points5636 points  (665 children)

Without a doubt. I hate the idea of a vasectomy...nervous about the procedure. But I'd 100% take a male contraceptive pill

[–]Musaks 3124 points3125 points  (379 children)

To be honest, i had a vasectomy and it does hurt while healing...like any operation. And i was unlucky and even years later i can have a "sensitive day" where i wouldn't want my wife to play roughly with my balls as usual (i don't regret having the procedure at all though)

But i trust the mechanical solution of a vasectomy much more than i would trust some chemical reaction / hormone treatment to not result in weird/unknown sideffects

In the end i would trust both, after they are thoroughly tested and scientific sound practises...but from the gut feeling, the vasectomy is easily understandable and just a short ove time procedure

[–]daneelthesane 2040 points2041 points  (167 children)

When I was having my vasectomy done, my doctor scared me a bit. He had me open and was rooting around in my coinpurse and doing his thing, and he made a bit of a "Hrm..." sound.

I was like "Uh... everything okay, Doc?" since that is not a sound you want to hear coming from a doctor working on your boys.

He said "Yeah, you just have a bleed somewhere I am having trouble finding."

He spent an extra 10 mins in there, and the local was starting to wear off. I started feeling a dull ache when he finally got me sewed up.

He said that was the least-smooth vasectomy he had done in a while.

So yeah, folks shouldn't worry. If that's as bad as it gets, it's not that bad.

[–]WitShortage 1357 points1358 points  (109 children)

He spent an extra 10 mins in there, and the local was starting to wear off.

My doc said "I've attached the anaesthetic, so I can give you more at any time. If it starts to ache or hurt, tell me. There's no point in you suffering."

At one point it did start to ache a bit. I told him, he said OK, and literally 10 seconds later the ache was gone.

EDIT: a word (kind of a crucial one, but one nonetheless!)

[–]Degreez32 1694 points1695 points  (84 children)

My doc said he drowned my balls in anesthetic to the point where it would ooze out of the incision sites LOL. He said, “That’s why they call me Dr. NumbNuts.” Hilarious.

[–]MikeRich511 715 points716 points  (65 children)

I strongly believe that urologists are some of the funniest doctors. It's this kind of self deprecating humor that can only come from working on dicks all day. Mine had me laughing pretty consistently throughout the procedure.

[–]Asphyxiatinglaughter 63 points64 points  (30 children)

Do you have to be awake during this? That would freak me the fuck out

[–]MikeRich511 104 points105 points  (5 children)

You have the option for general anesthesia, but it's less common and needs to be requested. In all honesty, a trip to the dentist is worse, but there is definitely anxiety.

[–]gsibble 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I'd much rather get my vasectomy done again than a regular dental cleaning. That might be the way to best describe how easy it was.

[–]Ian_Patrick_Freely 62 points63 points  (15 children)

You're awake, and you don't really feel it, but you will hear and smell the sizzle when they cauterize your nut tubes. 8/10, would do again.

[–]KPR70 120 points121 points  (6 children)

Mine took a selfie with me, which I sent to my wife in the waiting room during the procedure.

[–]ForeverJung 80 points81 points  (6 children)

Mine was both hilarious and a good sport. We were definitely joking around quite a bit during mine. First week was sore and uncomfortable then it improved from there. Uncomfortable for a while but totally reasonable

[–]BadgerSituation 49 points50 points  (1 child)

“That’s why they call me Dr. NumbNuts.”

"Well that and the absurd amount of times I've screwed up even the simplest of procedu- actually, forget I said anything. Making the first incision."

[–]daneelthesane 84 points85 points  (0 children)

He asked me if it was okay if he held off. He was nearly done and I guess there was some very mild risk for one of my medical profile if he did more.

[–]HomesickRedneck 84 points85 points  (6 children)

I don't think mine kicked in fully, I told him... hey doc that hurts should I be feeling this? It wasn't unbearable but definitely felt like someone was getting rough down there. He said "I'm sorry, but at this point I'm so far in it'd hurt more to stop and wait for the anesthetic to kick in." He blazed through in the next 3 or 4 minutes, so was super fast but definitely wasn't bad. I had to be careful with sex for a few weeks, wrong angle and the boys slap up against flesh a little hard and it hurt but after that no major problems except my intermittent swelling I get there still.

[–]aedinius 57 points58 points  (1 child)

"I'll give you a warning before I give you the anesthetic, it'll sting a bit." He continues his preparation for a few minutes then I feel a horrible pain, "ahhh..." "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you."

[–]Booker-of-roadies 175 points176 points  (102 children)

Im shooting blanks too, but wouldn't it have been wonderfull having this option before we were old enough to get surgery... 30 in my conutry, i don't know about yours..

[–]thisisjustforposting 545 points546 points  (73 children)

Weird....US citizen here, had my vasectomy at 26. Doctor didnt ask me anything in regards to why or whatever, he was a guy who did nothing but vasectomys/reversals so i guess making an appointment there already says a lot. Best decision I ever made...over a decade of not thinking about pulling out!

The real reason i did it was because we knew we didnt want kids and my wife was having a really hard time with various pills and it was causing her lots of side effects...she struggled for almost 2 years...so felt like the right thing to do to man up and handle the situation myself and stop her suffering.

[–]Its_Lemons_22 305 points306 points  (19 children)

You’re awesome for being considerate of your wife’s side effects from birth control. A lot people don’t realize how serious the side effects can be.

Edit: PSA: Condoms are only 87% effective with normal use. You shouldn’t store condoms in wallets, cars, or bathrooms. Condoms expire, don’t keep them for too long. Also, make sure you or your partner fully understand how to apply a condom correctly. Finally, two is not better than one.

[–]likealikeasexyorange 108 points109 points  (2 children)

It's why I got mine. My wife had severe pre-eclampsia with both of our kids and it would be way too risky for her to end up pregnant again. Combine that with her unfortunate side effects while on birth control and it was a no brainer.

[–]Julia_Kat 22 points23 points  (1 child)

We have decided that if I need a C-section (a very likely scenario since I'm likely high risk), that I'll get my tubes tied. Otherwise, my fiancé will get a vasectomy. It's pretty invasive for women unless they are already in there for a C-section. Decent compromise.

[–]hellcat_uk 201 points202 points  (49 children)

Just so you have the full compliment of replies, I had the no needle, no scalpel procedure and had basically no need for pain relief beyond the two paracetamol given to me at the surgery.

[–]Escuche 74 points75 points  (45 children)

May I ask you to elaborate more? I'm interested in this option

[–]hellcat_uk 234 points235 points  (43 children)

So the anesthetic was delivered by a jet injector (like a StarTrek hypospray) then a single incision about 4mm long was made, one tube at a time pulled out and cauterised and secured with a titanium clip. Only slightly uncomfortable during, and the weirdest part being it smelt slightly of bacon which made me hungry. For recovery I took a couple of days off work, one day just chilling around the house, then a day trip out but trying not to over do it. The small hole was sealed up after a couple of days.

[–]AcceptableStranger96 61 points62 points  (13 children)

I just had that procedure and have also had laser eye surgery. Same smell.

[–]Renshaw25 144 points145 points  (14 children)

I don't think the smell of my own burning genitalia, would it smell like bacon, would ever make me hungry.

[–]TrixicAcePolyamEnby 108 points109 points  (11 children)

Yeah, it is a surreal experience to be sure. And I had to look...I couldn't not look. That tube getting tugged out in a little loop, the puff of smoke rising up as he cauterized it, the weird not-quite-bacon-but-something-akin-to-bacon scent...wild shit.

[–]LiteralPhilosopher 18 points19 points  (2 children)

the weird not-quite-bacon-but-something-akin-to-bacon scent

Yep ... I used to work in an OR ward in a major hospital. Cautery units in use all the time; regularly getting made slightly peckish by what was, let's face it, the smell of smoked meat. Human meat, but the nose don't know.

[–]tobomori 25 points26 points  (3 children)

As others have said here - it's really not that bad. Only advice I would give is to get yourself a couple of weeks worth if nice and snug underpants that provide really good support.. Made all the difference to me.

[–]Evipicc 140 points141 points  (25 children)

I can tell you now it's not that bad. Mine hurt a bit because my tubes were short/tight instead of loose like most people's, but afterwards it was just over and no side effects or anything. The fear of having your junk opened up is legitimate, don't get me wrong, but the surety of being done having kids is pretty strong.

[–]Canisventus 27 points28 points  (23 children)

This might be a stupid and ignorant question, but can you reverse the vasectomy and have children again?

Does it affect in your fertility later somehow if its possible?

[–]cynical_euphemism 70 points71 points  (1 child)

My understanding is that yes, you can reverse it, but it’s a more complicated procedure and it’s not always successful, usually due to scar tissue and other complications. (So yes, it can affect your fertility).

If you might want to reverse it later, docs will typically discourage you from getting it done in the first place though, in my experience.

[–]BlueberrieHaze 54 points55 points  (0 children)

When My husband had his vasectomy the doctor told him to consider it 100% permanent. You should never count on a vasectomy being reversible. Pregnancy rates after a reversal can range from 30% to 70%.

[–]mikevago 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Besides the reversal being more painful, more difficult, and less likely to work than the original surgery, it's also less likely to work the longer you wait. If you get the snip at 22 and then decide you want kids after all at 42, you're probably going to end up adopting.

[–]superpositionquantum 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Don't need to. I use reddit.

[–]itachiWasANihilist 290 points291 points  (23 children)

Wait Redditors are having sex?

[–]Stupidnugget725 1837 points1838 points 2 (110 children)

Honestly I would because I hate the fact how it fucks with my girlfriends body And I rather deal with it than her

[–]DeathToPennies 405 points406 points  (27 children)

Absolutely ruins my day when I think about what a hormonal disaster the implant has been for her. It doesn’t even bother her that much, but why should she have to deal with any of it at all? Saving up for a vasectomy so it can all just be done with.

[–]corgarian 180 points181 points  (6 children)

I had the implant for 6 years and while it was great at keeping babies away it wrecked me. I gained weight, I was depressed and my sex drive was almost non existent. I started to believe there was something wrong with ME. We had to schedule sex (Sunday mornings) because even though I never wanted it, I knew that was also unfair to my husband who did want it and was getting hurt when I would reject his attempts. When we finally decided to have a kid and get the implant removed my sex drive EXPLODED. We thought maybe it was baby fever, and then we thought it was pregnancy hormones, but even after my sex drive has stayed sky high. So my husband went to Doctor Snip in Seattle (that is his business name) and got a vasectomy and it's been possibly the best thing to ever happen to our relationship. He can hardly even keep up with me anymore and he hasn't felt the sting of rejection in over a year.

[–]Trixles 50 points51 points  (0 children)

At first I accidentally read your name as DeathToPenis, and I thought to myself, "Wow, this guy is really serious about saving up for that vasectomy" xD

[–]ChowMein04 692 points693 points  (25 children)

Straight away, it would be a dick move if I expected my girlfriend to take stuff if I'm not willing to.

[–]derentius68 341 points342 points  (5 children)

I wouldn't.

Why bother loading blanks when the rifle is hanging above the mantle collecting rust.

[–]5125237143 140 points141 points  (3 children)

you should clean it and oil it regularly still. take to a shooting range and practice.

[–]SteelSnep 115 points116 points  (1 child)

"Man Arrested At Shooting Range For Public Indecency..."