SH: “What common nickname does someone named Richard go by?”

Steve Harvey, already preparing himself for an over exaggerated response, practically licking his lips, barely able to contain his excitement

Contestant: “uhh.. hah—okay well uhh.. I’m gonna have to say, uhh..”

Steve’s forehead becomes a sweat faucet, his eyes wiggling back and forth rapidly, knees quaking in anticipation, his lungs sucking in a huge breath of air

Contestant: “okay Steve, I’m gonna say—

Steve’s eyes now bulging from his skull, mouth quivering as it tries holding back his exclamation with futility

Contestant: “Rich!”

The contestant’s family all begin clapping, followed by the studio audience, but something’s missing.

Steve has completely deflated. Slowly, the excitement that drained from him now rebuilds itself as pure untethered rage.

Steve bludgeons the contestant over the head with his microphone. Once, twice, a third, skull crushing blow.

Everyone screams. The police are called and are in the studio in moments. They handcuff Steve Harvey, read him his rights and begin dragging him out to their vehicle. As he’s being pulled away, audience members hear Steve sobbing heavily as he repeats over and over,

“He was supposed to say dick… he—why couldn’t he just say dick..”