Girlfriend is injured and borderline suicidal in Tokyo. What should I do?

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Ellabella1422 · 2023-03-25T22:29:36+00:00

I sprained my ankle really badly in Tokyo in 2019 and went to the JR Tokyo General Hospital, they x-rayed it, gave me some pain killers and I hired some crutches from them. It was £80 (I think about $100) at the time so didn’t go through the insurance as that was cheaper than my travel insurance excess was. It was difficult but I was still able to get around Tokyo and try and make the most of my holiday. Hope she’s ok.

DeltaDiamondDave · 2023-03-25T22:20:58+00:00

Where she is staying? My wife (28) and I (30) from Atlanta are vacationing over here in Japan right now. We just left the Moxy by Marriott hotel in Tokyo. We can give great recommendations for some cafes near her if she wants to have a chill day while the weather continues being gross.

staywickedlost · 2023-03-25T22:15:21+00:00

The department of state website recommends calling the nearest consulate or embassy if you’re concerned about the safety of a loved one. Here’s a link for you.

It sounds like she’s immensely disappointed by her physical health which is understandable, but if she’s insinuating suicide, she needs to fly home.

Edit: I’m not sure if posting phone numbers is okay here, but if you google “getting help in an emergency us embassy”, you’ll likely get in touch with someone sooner. Best of luck to you both.

yankiigurl · 2023-03-26T00:34:02+00:00

Hello. I live Tokyo and speak decent Japanese. If you guys don't get it figured out you can DM me. She's welcome to DM me too. Any questions. I might be able to meet her if conditions are right. I'm a woman not a creepy dude, if that helps

vaguebyname · 2023-03-25T22:07:09+00:00

Appreciate it's not ideal but surely she can just come home?

Does she not have travel insurance, I know you said she doesn't have health insurance but they are different things.

Benevir · 2023-03-25T22:21:43+00:00

My dad tore his miniscus playing soccer with my son on his second day in Japan. We took a day off for rest and I got him a (hot pink) cane from my local pharmacy and he was back in action (although at a greatly reduced pace).

There are plenty of things to do that don't require massive walking around. Loads of bus tours, hot springs, shows.

If it's really bad she should have a doctor check it out. Even without health insurance it's much cheaper than what you'd get in the US.

As an example (found on google, not personal experience) there are these guys: https://tsocs.jp/english who should be able to have a quick look and probably sell her a brace.

beginswithanx · 2023-03-25T22:26:15+00:00

She may want to try calling the Tokyo English Lifeline. They have an anonymous emergency line, that can provide some support, but I’m not sure if she’ll have access to many resources as a non-resident.

EinSpiegel · 2023-03-26T00:29:05+00:00

I'm orginally from FL and staying in Tokyo for the next two months with my wife and kids. If she wants to meet up with someone who can relate to her and just feel grounded let me know.

ah-tzib-of-alaska · 2023-03-25T22:41:55+00:00

her health insurance wouldn’t matter in japan anyways; she’ll likely find it cheaper to not have insurance in japan than it is to have insurance for the same service in the USA

soldoutraces · 2023-03-25T22:38:16+00:00

It was nowhere near as serious, but in '07 I slipped on Mt. Misen on Miyajima and did something to my hand. I didn't have travel insurance or any health insurance within Japan.

I went to a walk-in clinic in Osaka. Yes, it took several hours. Yes, it is not an ideal way to spend your vacation. They saw me, did an X-ray, gave me some over the counter pain patches and some supplies for 5000 yen (which they discounted to 3700 yen because I was a pathetic foreigner.)

I don't know where she is staying, but send her to a walk in clinic. See what they can do for her. Medical care in Japan even without insurance is substantially cheaper than in the US.

I want to say I was given salonpas patches. They are now over the counter in the US as well, but were not in '07. She should get some and put some on her ankle and keep it elevated. If she is not tattooed, look into a day of going to the onsen, I find that helps enormously with aches and pains.

I don't know how to help with the suicidal ideation, outside of having her call one of the numbers already supplied.

oheydonna · 2023-03-26T00:51:42+00:00

I think when your gf gets back from her trip which she will be back, she should probably seek professional help as that seems very worrisome that she’s contemplating suicide because of an ankle injury!!

How long does she have left of her trip? Since she’s going to a pharmacy tell her to look for a compression sleeve / ankle brace or if it’s really bad a cane, I’m sure they’d have some there to help with walking, also try to keep her ankle elevated when resting (maybe prop a pillow or two under her foot while in bed), if she’s wanting to explore take small breaks every now and then so she doesn’t overwork her ankle. I really do hope she enjoys her time while she’s there even though she is injured, please let her know that if she needs someone to talk to my DMs on here and insta (same user handle) are always open and I want to hear all about her dream vacation when she’s back home! 🥰🥰

FingernailToothpicks · 2023-03-25T23:59:12+00:00

If she's in a hotel there are flower shops that will deliver to the hotel. In the delivery instructions you can put her name, which the hotel will have. There are many flower shops that have online ordering with an English website. I did it for my wife once and she was very greatful.

Then find low key chill spots in Tokyo for her. The nearest cat cafe, hedgehog cafe, etc. There are places where you can just chill and people watch. Taking to e to slow down is part of the greater Japanese culture. Sure, not the Tokyo office worker but overall an appreciation for things is there. If you slow down you get the cultural immersion part of travel vice the constant site seeing tourist stuff.

I strongly recommend building some itinerary ideas for her. If she's that down she thinks she can't do anything. Show her the things she can do.

mithdraug · 2023-03-25T22:11:23+00:00

See this.

phillsar86 · 2023-03-25T23:56:08+00:00

Suicidal ideations are an emergency. She needs to go to a hospital.

Call the Tokyo English Lifeline ASAP!

See also US Embassy Tokyo: Mental Health in Japan

splishsplash696969 · 2023-03-26T04:09:15+00:00

Me and my fiancé are here in Tokyo, currently going to Costco. If there's any medicine you would like us to pick up we are happy to drop it off to your girlfriend later and check in with them as well.

hyperborian_wanderer · 2023-03-25T22:44:39+00:00

If you really feel she’s in danger of committing suicide I would contact a consul at the American embassy immediately.

https://jp.usembassy.gov/

AdehhRR · 2023-03-25T23:54:09+00:00

Oh man, this happened to me on my very first day of a 1 month trip to the US.

Got out of the car, hopped along some rocks to get to a spot to take a picture, fracture my foot.

It is depressing as hell, and its hard to stop thinking that your trip is ruined so I get it.

I hope it passes for her though :(

Subredhit · 2023-03-26T05:35:46+00:00

I know this might sound harsh but lots of people still get by who struggle to walk. Pensioners, people on crutches, people who have one leg. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s twisted their ankle when on holiday and had it swollen up like a football so you have to hobble around in pain on one leg. To think about committing suicide due to a bad ankle indicates some underlying problems which should be dealt with when she’s back home.

Her trip hasn’t been taken from her, she’s mind fucking herself over something which happens to a lot of people and she can still make the most of it even if it means moving a bit slower, on crutches or doing more relaxing things. I hope she gets some help and ends up having a lovely time.

cama9572 · 2023-03-26T02:27:55+00:00

If she is at a hotel tell her to go to the lobby and speak with someone and they can direct her to the nearest hospital. The hospitals in Japan are great. Had to visit one when I was in Tokyo and the hotel called ahead for us and the hospital was waiting for us when we arrived. Coming from the US I was expecting a bill of at least $5000 and I think it total it was $150 with no insurance.

heliumneon · 2023-03-26T05:23:04+00:00

Absurdly high costs of healthcare is an American thing. It will probably be really reasonable to just get it taken care of at a hospital there and pay full price (doctor visit, X-ray, ankle wrap, etc.). They might be able to sell her a good ankle support wrap and/or brace which could be enough to get through the trip.

Neverstopreading42 · 2023-03-25T22:41:13+00:00

I bought a Velcro brace like thing. I would imagine a pharmacy in Japan would have something like that.

AnnieSunFlowers · 2023-03-26T01:00:14+00:00

I spent time in Japan one year and while it was easily the one of the best times of my life, I was also dealing with things back home that almost completely overshadowed that joy. I needed help pronto and found it through this organization. I would have ended my marriage without an immediate lifeline (my spouse did nothing wrong, but it felt like the only way to escape the major stressor at the time).

https://telljp.com/

Depending on the length of her stay, is there a way for you to join her? In addition to emergency therapy, a friend rearranged their schedule to join me and that had an even bigger effect on the trajectory of my visit.

If not, consider this: my mind was so crowded with intrusive thoughts that I couldn't concentrate enough to plan my days. I mostly relied on the Grutto pass to get me out the door going somewhere each day. If she's in this headspace there's likely not room to think about alternative plans. If you can plan something from afar that doesn't require much walking, I would. An ikebana class comes to mind, but you know her best.

Bufger · 2023-03-26T02:48:59+00:00

I'm in Tokyo on business at the moment and the weather is bad, not great if she's depressed. She needs to take a rest day or two. Long hot bath, local coffee shop with a book etc. People try and fit too much into their vacations here.

I'm in Ikebukuro this weekend and Hachioji next weekend. If she wants to meet for a coffee and chat I can meet her somewhere of her choosing.

FlindersFish · 2023-03-26T09:20:49+00:00

She’s your girlfriend. If you seriously believe suicide is a potential outcome then you you need to fly there immediately. It may be the most important thing you ever do in your life, regardless of what might be in your diary for the next few days. Good luck.

Yatagarasu513 · 2023-03-25T22:45:01+00:00

She probably doesn’t need to visit a pharmacy at all, Amazon Japan sell crutches with next day delivery for around 4000円 ($35?)

But if her mental health is holding her back, tell.jp may be worth contacting - they’re a mental health helpline with English speakers who can support her and point her towards resources to assist her.

Depending on where in Tokyo she is I can also provide some travel recommendations for her (have a friend who is disabled who’s asked before.)

DukeOfDew · 2023-03-26T14:33:21+00:00

Hi, I have seen you have got lots of replies here and hope everything works out. I just wanted to let you know, my wife an I live in Japan (near Tokyo) and if things go south or your other options don't pan out, send me a DM and I'll be happy to help however I can.

We have friends who live near Akihabara and could potentially check up on your GF very quickly. So if you loose contact or get a message you don't like, let me know and I'll do my best to help.

I know it sucks when you are so far away and trying to help but just by asking you are doing great. The important thing to try and get across is that, there are still loads of things she can do in Japan even in if she were in a wheelchair! She just needs to change her plan up and save some of the things she can't do for the next time she is here.

I know relying on a stranger is hard but feel free to check my history to confirm I'm just a normal guy who wants to help.

JpnDude · 2023-03-26T01:53:52+00:00

Here is a list of hospitals and clinics in the Akihabara area. Unfortunately, most are closed on Sundays.

Mitsui Memorial Hospital, a few blocks from Akihabara Station, has an English-language page for tourists and temporary visitors.

https://www.mitsuihosp.or.jp/english/travelers/

I wish your friend the best.

trippinxt · 2023-03-26T01:09:24+00:00

Go to the hospital and ask for meds. It's likely than a strong pain killer can alleviate most of the pain as it isn't a new injury where you'd worry if your broke your bone or something. Also, does she not have any pain meds she already know of? Might just be an OTC drug over there.

The best you can do as her boyfriend is continally talking to her and tell her she can turn this situation around and still have a good time the next days!

Sindiful · 2023-03-26T02:45:28+00:00

I lived in Japan and can tell you I had hip issues and my son got Serlver's Disease. (Painful growing plates in his feet) Walking in Japan is brutal!

Look for local cafes. Just make use of taxis and don't walk, because it will over exert the injury.

Tell her to make it a life goal to visit again. Maybe study Japanese for the second trip! Tell her you'll return with her.

Noble06 · 2023-03-26T05:07:52+00:00

I injured my foot halfway through my trip to Scotland a few years ago. I spent the rest of the time on trains just visiting places I hadn't planned on going to. It was a great time. Spent most of my time on my butt watching the country and limping out to the 200 yards outside of the train stations I stopped at. It's all about mentality unfortunately. If she doesn't let it be a problem it won't be, but if she despairs she will self sabotage herself.

DameEmma · 2023-03-26T05:10:40+00:00

My ex ended up in the ICU in a coma for 4 days and in hospital for another 11. Long story but NTT hospital has English speaking patient liaisons to help and are super nice. They bent A LOT of rules for me. Walking distance from Gotanda station on the Yamanote line. Or a very short cab ride.

Ok-Professional-9560 · 2023-03-26T10:48:05+00:00

I am actually here in Japan now if I can help at all. Im also a Florida local and would be happy to help if I can

Nakanostalgiabomb · 2023-03-26T00:04:58+00:00

I traveled for two weeks in Japan.

I have mobility issues due to a torn ACL, and definitely have damage in my ankle from the same injury that caused the tear in my knee.

Japan is improving, but they have a long way to go before you can say they've prioritized accessibility.

Trains are generally good, as are stations, but there are very few ramps on streets and buildings (I even encountered a ramp in Ikebukuro that ended in stairs).

So often I was met with traversing an area much more slowly than I would like. I saw no mobility scooters, and very few wheelchairs while there, so I just toughed it out, but my injury is pretty much healed. I advise to go to the hospital, and oerhaps get a pair of crutches to get around. While not ideal, it beats being depressed in the hotel foe the duration of the trip.

ApplicationOk8228 · 2023-03-26T00:33:10+00:00

She is going to a pharmacy when it opens

What's keeping her from going to see a doctor in Japan?

LiraelNix · 2023-03-26T01:19:31+00:00

Look for day trip tours that include taking people to places by bus or car. It's more expensive than doing it on your own, but it should cut down on how much she needs to walk. Maybe there's even tours that pick up near her hotel

I hope everything is okay with her

tehgurgefurger · 2023-03-26T11:50:37+00:00

She can call 03-5285-8181. This is Tokyos free medical translation service called tokyo himawari. They can answer questions about costs and arrange an appointment for her to the nearest clinic. Hope she gets better OP.

qtmcjingleshine · 2023-03-26T19:53:05+00:00

Tell her to go visit some onsen. It’s a nice Japanese experience and will help her ankle. I have been depressed in Tokyo alone too if she needs to talk to someone

Accomplished_Sea_332 · 2023-03-26T22:28:49+00:00

No one has mentioned it but if she’s not used to International travel and being alone this could also be some kind of culture shock mixed with jet lag. First order of business seems to me to get the a Kyle taken care of. That might give her the reassurance she needs. She should ask the hotel for help finding a doctor.

Pretzilla · 2023-03-26T06:47:57+00:00

She can probably find crutches for almost free from a second hand store. Or cheap from a pharmacy.

A stretchy bandage or even a velcro-on ankle brace, same, or from a 100 yen shop (daiso, etc).

Or just ask at a hospital or sports health clinic.

Good luck!

gnomelikegrandpa · 2023-03-26T07:00:05+00:00

She should do anything that gives her sense that she has some control over the situation.

So, first, yes, see a doctor. If that's not possible, then find some other way to get out and see new stuff.

"She currently feels trapped in her hotel room because she is unable to walk reliably" -- That seems to be the problem, so do anything to not feel trapped.

That might be something as small as getting out and doing something she wasn't planning on doing, anything but sitting in the hotel room.

Very small achievements in situations like this can turn one's outlook around very quickly, like instantaneously. Get out, even if on crutches. So what if she can't climb Mt. Fuji. Maybe check out the corner sushi. Sometimes good things come out of bad things. I hope that's the case for her.

Winnie-thewoo · 2023-03-26T08:45:05+00:00

Also check this service out if she needs support: https://telljp.com/

Captain_Morgan- · 2023-03-26T09:50:35+00:00

Walking boot

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walking_boot

PS: not the small one the big chungus one show in the picture and give to her a lot of Valeriane water will be helpful for her anxiety.

Nyx_Valentine · 2023-03-26T13:23:58+00:00

Is it possible the injury will settle after some resting? I assume if she's this distressed, she still has quite a few days left. Does she see a therapist when she's at home? I understand the disappointment, especially after the toxic past history with attempting this trip, but I consider it highly alarming that you think she may hurt herself (abroad, no less) over something like this.

kaqpe · 2023-03-26T14:43:11+00:00

Many bigger Hotels have wheelchairs in case a guest hurts himself. They can be lend for free. If they don't offer this service I would recommend searching for it in another place. At least that would give her the mobility back. Good luck

Guerori · 2023-03-26T15:07:30+00:00

I just saw this. How is she doing? Is she with someone? I live relatively close to Akihabara in case she needs anything, even if it is just to talk or someone to help her go to the hospital. You can DM if necessary.

Hope she gets better

piatos22 · 2023-03-26T15:30:38+00:00

I don't think all is lost. I had my knee in a cast from tearing a tendon in my knee after skiing. Still had a week left in tokyo after that.

After a day of rest, I limped my way to Don Quijote and got those telescoping walking sticks so I can put away the crutches. Made going around easier.

I still managed to go to a lot of places thanks to the trains. Pretty much all of the stations have elevators/lifts, just make sure to look out for the signages.

I went to St Luke's Internation Hospital btw, eastern part of tokyo. The ER doctors had good english. This was in 2019.

Relative-Biscotti-94 · 2023-03-26T16:00:00+00:00

Lots of good advices here so I’ll refrain from repeating anything. Though I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this already but perhaps you can ask the hotel to check up on her? Maybe they’ll be able to help out with pointing her into the right direction/ get her painkillers or crutches. It’s probably nice to have some human interaction too if she feels boarded up in a hotel room.

filtermaker · 2023-03-26T18:33:03+00:00

If she is deeply disappointed, and assures you it is only that and not contemplating the worst, this is the time to help her to salvage the experience. 1) I broke my ankle in Tokyo in 2018. Ambulance, x-rays, cast, and crutches and pain meds were under $500 . They had an official English translator over an iPad. Go see the doc. 2) Get out the wallet and pay for Taxis to minimize time on the ankle. 3) change hotels to one right on top of a metro hub to minimize walking. 4) Take up the generous offers from the great redditors in Tokyo right now.

Gold-Yogurtcloset485 · 2023-03-26T19:00:22+00:00

Do you have trip insurance? That might cover the medical expenses and having to cut the trip short.

saggytummybubaloo · 2023-03-26T20:52:06+00:00

Yes tell her to go to the doctor. Even without insurance, medical care like this should be relatively affordable.

itsyourmom1 · 2023-03-27T01:10:47+00:00

Any updates here? Hope it work out!!

wimpies · 2023-03-27T05:59:01+00:00

It seems your gf is depressed. I think the priority is her mental health rather than the physical (yes she can't walk normally but she won't die if her ankle is not fixed right now) and depressed ppl have a tunnel vision of seeing things so you can't reason logically with her.

I am not a professional but i think if she lives alone she needs to leave the hotel room (japan hotel rooms are smaller than normal hotel rooms) and talks to ppl. Even limping and sitting in a cafe all day people watching is better than staying inside a room alone.

It is the sakura season but too bad the weather seems to be bad right now, otherwise just sitting in the park watching the sakura is possibly one of the best moments in life.

Sorry i digress, it is best if you can go to Japan asap to meet her and stay with her, if not, see if any redditers or other volunteers can help. Companionship would be very important right now.

God bless you and your gf.

considerseabass · 2023-03-27T16:59:21+00:00

Not to sound insensitive but a few things…you should either have her come back or if possible you go there, because if she’s in a state where a simple injury would trigger her to say something so severe, she was likely not in a state to go to somewhere like Japan to begin with, especially alone. I don’t know the full thing, or her but there’s also a chance she’s just saying that out of the heat of the moment. Not that that should change how you handle it, but she needs someone else is what I’m saying regardless.

Crystalfirebaby · 2023-03-28T02:47:41+00:00

Sister and I are in Japan currently and I am concerned about your girlfriend. Any updates.....?

Shes_Like_A_Rainbow · 2023-03-26T00:05:52+00:00

Can’t she rent a wheelchair or something temporary so she can still travel and do some sight seeing? Just thinking along. Also does she have her meds with her? And are you able to go and take her home in the worst case, before she does anything stupid that is.

sandskiing · 2023-03-26T12:09:58+00:00

I had a back injury that threatened to ruin a vacation once and they were able to give me some medication at urgent care that helped but it took about two days. I was able to walk around at least so it was a miracle! Also, if she is actually suicidal, like she has an actual plan, you need to call emergency services and she needs to go to the hospital. That sounds like a nightmare in Japan though so hopefully it doesn’t get to that point.

I also wonder about a tour she could do. There was a trip report a few days ago from a mobility challenged group and they had scheduled a driving tour and were able to request how much they wanted to get out. I’ve had the time of my life on those hop on hop off buses. There are still options for her! And she should definitely still enjoy the food if there are restaurants that deliver. Maybe you could get her a gift certificate for that if they do it in Japan.

Hang in there. That is really good you are trying to take care of her even though she’s so far away. She is very lucky to have you!

Abject_Plantain_6230 · 2023-03-26T18:59:51+00:00

If she does go to a hospital do ask for prices beforehand, I just spent 4 nights in a children’s ward with my daughter and paid $13k - not expensive by US standards I know, but any european would poop themselves a little. (Fortunately my insurance covers it)

PurrMichigander · 2023-03-27T15:11:38+00:00

I arrived in Japan on March 18th and I knew something was wrong right away when I got out of the airplane. Either I pulled something or I'm just that weak (fat ish), my calf/knee/leg muscles were in agony. On my first full day, I had two Charley Horse, one on each calf. Luckily for me, I was with my group and my friend helped me out a lot there. Mentally and physically I was so disappointed in myself and I wish I would have done things differently. My group didn't need to say much but they encouraged me by simply waiting for me when I was slow. I think your girlfriend just needs some positive reinforcement.

What helped me was my group didn't care and were willing to wait for my slow ass when we were walking somewhere. I was pretty much limping in pain every single step. I feel like what could help is to go to an. onsen (hot springs) or/even using ice pack or just taking a hot bath at the hotel. Even to this day, my entire leg is sore/tired but it's not as bad as what it was.

I'm actually in a hotel near Akihabara (10 min walk) until the end of the month. Seems like there are many people who offered to help and some of them are women so it's best for you to not ask me for help (am a guy). The only thing that I feel like I can help is I maybe can try to find some things she might be interested in.

I'm a weeb and for my last couple of days, I'm going to all the anime/manga related places, Ikebukuro, Nakano, Shibuya, etc. This is a huge leap of faith if you want my help for this part for both parties. Obviously, no guarantee I would be able to find some things or whether I will have additional space in my luggage. I have my own priorities.

Additionally, I will keep my receipts and all but I don't think I would be willing to show my credit card statements since I don't want to be paid back in Yen. If you want my assistance in this, you would have to be willing to pay whatever the price (no proof of cost in USD) it cost me and shipping.

I just sympathize with your girlfriend because it happened to me recently. I'm sure her pain is worse than mine but yeah. If you accept, please send me a DM with list and I will try when I have time. Please don't make me regret this.

I hope your girlfriend is doing okay now.

SillySymphonyIII · 2023-03-27T00:28:19+00:00

This is bullshit.

chazmann · 2023-03-26T00:02:50+00:00

I’m sorry both of you are having to deal with this.

That being said, she can either complain and waste what remaining time she has in Japan or she can make the best out of her current situation and try to figure out a solution and finally escape from her tiny hotel room. Either way, she has no one to blame but herself.

It’s not what she wants to hear but it’s what she needs to hear from you. It would be a shame for all that planning and money to go to waste. Good luck to both of you, bro.

zboyzzzz · 2023-03-26T06:37:46+00:00

Can you just go meet her and help out? You can ride segways! Or push a wheelchair

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