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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 18.75 years of server time

roast me. do your worst. by asenthaahttp://redd.it/jh4z3l in RoastMe

[–]dankenascend 22 points23 points  (0 children)

OK, we've got uneven color in flat hair. Trashy gas station cashier style fingernails, and a mix of cf and incandescent light bulbs in the fixture over your head.

Let's project, a little. You'll be driving a Hyundai Santa Fe with 2 bratty kids living off a husband that works as a Pepsi distributor that you've sucked the life out of. You'll be selling at least 2 pyramid scheme products that nets you -$.12/hr. The house you live in will smell like the unregistered and unkept yorkshire terrier that lives there. And you'll post constant pictures on IG of you with your kids with the kids slightly out of focus.

21 and 20 year old uni students by HotNutellaNipplehttp://redd.it/jh7bdr in RoastMe

[–]HotNutellaNipplehttp://redd.it/jh7bdr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We hug each other for warmth at night.

22yr old, Indian medical student by cringefest21http://redd.it/jh2cd0 in RoastMe

[–]Demithan 1107 points1108 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell which eye is lazier

My husband told me I needed to grow up and stop dressing like a 17 year old goth kid. My reprisal came in the form of residual teen angst and darker eyeliner. His? Divorce papers. I'm 31. Roast me. by btwistolethisriffhttp://redd.it/jfihqz in RoastMe

[–]stamptramp086 392 points393 points  (0 children)

Got to agree. She looks like the kind of girl that just won't leave it alone trying to get it... You know the kind: always flirting way too hard and if you don't respond in kind,she starts getting more and more blatant until she's asking your friends what she has to do to get you to notice/fuck her. Throwing that vertically split unshaven Ms Butterworth pancake at you till it finally sticks. And then after all that hard work and effort,in bed she will just lay there and you will think its you who was lacking-till next week when your two friends complain about fucking the same previously enthusiastic necro-role-play enthusiast. We know what it is Mandy,we ALL know...

PS call me

I am the most handsome man on the whole of Reddit. My beard is by far the greatest ever seen. There is no way you can ever make me feel like I'm not a king. Roast me. by Oda_blockhttp://redd.it/jg6nhg in RoastMe

[–]AppKlyps 3534 points3535 points 2324& 3 more (0 children)

Of all the angles, you chose the one that makes you look like Britney Spears trapped inside an Iraqi felon’s body.

Felt cute. Had a decent day. Prove me otherwise... by misanthropicnekohttp://redd.it/jgeama in RoastMe

[–]Absolutely_CoffeeBest of Pt. 12, #3 + Platinum Roaster 179 points180 points  (0 children)

You look like a fishing lure in an all gay pond.

19F. Accounting Student. Convince Me That 2020 Is My Year. by CricketCricketsonhttp://redd.it/jg22k2 in RoastMe

[–]anonymousecoward2 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Alanis Heavyset

Edit: wow, thanks for the gold!! :O

22 year old asthmatic college student. Hit me with it. by milkyfrogpisshttp://redd.it/jeq6v8 in RoastMe

[–]bgc2420 3732 points3733 points 3238& 18 more (0 children)

Your jaw definition says Disney Prince. But your eyes say Xanax dependence.

Hi, I'm an office administrator at a clinic. My friend offered me $50 to post this so I could make rent. Thanks COVID for reducing my hours. Do your thing. by aderuitshttp://redd.it/jf352o in RoastMe

[–]Bippy07Best of Pt. 12, #2 + Golden Roaster 1686 points1687 points 2 (0 children)

She looks like a statue of a Greek goddess....... made by Salvador Dali

Flex those bullying skills b by laranehttp://redd.it/jfcfsb in RoastMe

[–]Bryan_URN_Asshole 501 points502 points  (0 children)

You look like Amy Adams’ reflection in a Heroin spoon