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[–]Razorray21 4070 points4071 points  (431 children)

You don't have to explain, they know who the alcoholics are at your local store.

[–]notoyrobots 2095 points2096 points  (331 children)

This is why I stagger my booze purchases between all the locals, cant let them in on it.

[–]rxneutrino 1404 points1405 points  (287 children)

I think staggering still gives you away though.

[–]House_of_ill_fame 1153 points1154 points  (278 children)

Oh hey, look, it's that guy that comes in at really specific intervals and buys a really specific quantity of an item, plus an extra random item to make it look like an impulsive purchase

[–]MrBreadfish 1265 points1266 points 2 (158 children)

That was me when I was battling my alcohol addiction. I would go to a different store every day, and repeat after every 7 or 8 days. I would try to swap brands too thinking they didn't remember me... but yeah they knew. Thankfully though now I'm 22 months free of my alcohol addiction.

Edit: Thank you for the gifts and kind words everyone. After work I will be sure to respond to everyone.

[–]cgg419 478 points479 points  (48 children)

Congratulations! Just passed the six month mark myself.

[–]SELL_ME_TEXTBOOKS 133 points134 points  (20 children)

First few are the hardest! Awesome work

[–]Eachdaynew 155 points156 points  (18 children)

Nice job! I’m at 86 days. Still not a cake walk but I sure have saved some $

[–]Sealpup666 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Oh hey sobriety buddy! 88 days here!

[–]cgg419 46 points47 points  (12 children)

Congratulations to you too. One day at a time.

[–]virgavolanti 74 points75 points  (11 children)

Can I just point out that I love how wholesome and supportive you guys are to complete strangers sympathizing with each others' situations? I don't know any of you, but you're all wonderful and amazing, keep up the good work!

[–]cgg419 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]basketoffries 56 points57 points  (19 children)

Just entered a rehab program and I’m nine days sober. Any advice?

[–]Tru-Queer 82 points83 points  (7 children)

It’s not the healthiest option but in my first year of sobriety, any time I had a major craving to drink, I’d buy ice cream instead and just eat the entire thing. I also really got interested in buying vinyls so if I felt the need to spend money I’d go vinyl shopping at Barnes and Noble. Can’t spend $30 on liquor if I just spent it on a brand new record, right?

And I know it’s really cliche, but honestly, just take it one day at a time. JUST FOR TODAY, I will not drink. I can’t worry about tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, because those days aren’t in my control. But just for today? Totally, I can not drink.

[–]Masterzanteka 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Dude I like your advice. Many people when offering advice on getting sober give the same basic advice. Eat super healthy, hobbies, F&F time, exercise. Which is great advice but some people just need to kick the habit first. Yeah a complete life overhaul is ideal. But what’s paramount to an addict staying alive is to just stop using drugs and alcohol.

For example, I’m a heroin addict and when I would tell people weed really helped me with post acute withdrawals. I’d get most people saying I was just trading one addiction for another. Like mother fucker no. Spending 60 bucks on weed every 19 days isn’t the same thing as spending ever fucking cent I had on heroin daily. Plus I don’t start pawning my family’s valuables if I can’t get weed.

I get weed is a trickier thing then say Ice cream and records because yes it can be addictive. In my case it has worked really well though. So that’s why I give that advice and advocate for it when people ask for help.

Kinda rambled there but yeah thank you for saying what actually helped you and not just general well being advice.

[–]Deep_Grady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly, without weed I'd never have been able to get sober. I don't like admitting it but that's the truth and I'll take cannabis over a destructive hard drug any day. I'm even a better person when I indulge. It shouldn't even be in the same sentence when discussing hard drugs like alcohol or heroin. Yeah it can become a problem like any substance or behavior that makes you feel good; but I'll take the most abject depths of cannabis addiction over dry heaving, shakes, seizures, DTs, homelessness, losing my livelihood and family - every damn time. Weed is not harmless by any means but that's my choice when it comes to saving my life and thriving.

[–]Coffe_Mug 41 points42 points  (2 children)

r/stopdrinking is a very supportive sub reddit. I posted almost daily for 2 months and it was incredibly helpful for me.

[–]SenorKerry 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I know a reddit badge isn’t the same as a chip, but I’m proud of you! Keep up the good work!

[–]fagittariusunicorn 38 points39 points  (10 children)

On the other hand I went to the same liquor store for the most part and made friends with the main cashier. No shame I guess? Idk

[–]cooooook123 43 points44 points  (8 children)

As a cashier, I appreciate people like you. I definitely have people that come in too often, so it sucks having that friendly aspect suffer as their health declines, but I will always be just as friendly regardless. I'm not there to make your choices or pass judgment.

[–]NiceTryKemosabe 25 points26 points  (5 children)

There's this wonderful old lady at my local store that I would buy booze and smokes from nearly every morning. She never once made me feel guilty.

She didn't smoke or drink, but she invited me to her Christmas pageant that she was helping with and walked around the counter to give me a hug once when I was struggling with depression.

Since the pandemic hit I haven't seen her. I hope she's doing okay. It's amazing how much I enjoyed seeing her at the counter.

Now I just go to Costco and stock up every 10 days or so and grab a carton at the gas station. I miss that small interaction.

[–]oogmar 18 points19 points  (3 children)

The lack of daily small interactions is killing me. I'm in a better place than I was years ago in terms of self worth, but I miss the regular reminder that strangers tend to like me.

So do my friends, but I'm very service industry and it's a good feeling to get a genuine laugh out of somebody having a crappy night.

I miss it so much.

[–]Up_the_Down_Steroid 74 points75 points  (30 children)

Why you guys going to small local shops? I'm not an alcoholic but I buy my booze at a supermarket and no one knows who the fuck I am, nevermind remember me.

Edit: Okay I get it, this isn't a good option for everyone and you'll probably be recognised even in big supermarkets eventually anyway.

[–]-Vayra- 83 points84 points  (3 children)

Supermarkets don't sell booze everywhere.

[–]throwaway47382836 16 points17 points  (3 children)

in North Carolina, you can only buy liquor at state owned stores. most smaller towns will only have one of these or none at all so you have to drive to the closest one

NC even still has dry counties

[–]Binsky89 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Lots of Arkansas is dry. You often have to drive to the neighboring state to buy booze.

[–]nevermidit 43 points44 points  (7 children)

Because what you buy at the supermarket is never enough, so you have to go to the local stores after..

[–]oconorris 28 points29 points  (0 children)

They only introduced alcohol in grocery stores in my province a few years ago. And its still only a small selection of beer, wine, and cider.

[–]AboutNinthAccount 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I went to Sam's. Like $78.84 for 4 cases of Bud. I think every 2 weeks. I will hit 6 years on 11/22, good for you. :)

[–]moonlitshroom 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Keep up the good work!

[–]K4R1MM 20 points21 points  (37 children)

Hey dude! My girlfriend and I were joking about this yesterday. There's a liquor store right beside my grocery place which I visit every other day. I don't think going every 3 days is a problem for another bottle or two of wine or case of beer for the weekend is it?

[–]riadfodig 71 points72 points  (13 children)

It depends. An "alcohol problem" might look very different for different people. We picture someone that wakes up and drinks all day every day, but what about the person that just binge drinks every Friday and Saturday? Or the person that has a glass of wine after work every day? Each of those could potentially be someone with a problem, or someone without a problem. It's up to you to decide the impacts alcohol is having on your life and whether or not you want to change that.

[–]Sharcbait 55 points56 points  (5 children)

IDK if I ever would have considered myself an alcoholic but I definitely had a problem at one point. It wasn't that I drank all the time. It wasn't that I would binge on every weekend either, honestly I would drink maybe 1-2 times a month only, and most people would assume it was no big deal. The reason I would say I had a problem was because once I started drinking I didn't know when or where I was gonna stop. I would drink until DRUNK every time and it had a lot of negative effects on my life. I have been sober since my daughter was born and if I tell people I know about it most of them dismiss it because "you hardly ever drink." Thank you for pointing out that addiction looks different for different people.

[–]riadfodig 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a great example, I'm proud that you made the decision to get better for yourself and your daughter!

[–]ikwtif 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Depends, if you feel you need to drink then it's likely (the start of) an addiction. It's easy to check, just go one week or more without drinking alcohol, if you can't, you know what's up.

[–]BobDogGo 14 points15 points  (3 children)

“Testing” your addiction by quitting for short periods is a very common step for addicts. I look at those times and regret not making it permanent right then.

[–]Msdamgoode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it has negative effects on your life, yes. If not, maybe no. Many people do just fine. Many others, just do not. Always good to check yourself.

[–]quizzicaldinosaur 9 points10 points  (11 children)

No one can really answer that but you. If it's having negative effects on your physical/mental health or life in general, or big you're concerned/unhappy, taking a break won't hurt. If you can't manage to get through 30 days without it, it might be time to quit. It's a very individual and personal thing.

[–]BobDogGo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

For anyone considering quitting or even just considering considering, r/stopdrinking is a terrific sub to visit

[–]WTFMoustache 219 points220 points  (98 children)

i don't know any retail clerk who has the emotional and mental energy to keep track of shit like that.

Unless you make a scene, chances are they won't remember you out of the 500 other people they deal with everyday.

[–]handyjuanito 272 points273 points  (79 children)

Having worked in retail, I can confirm that you do start to recognize regulars.

[–]silent_femme 93 points94 points  (15 children)

and having worked at a wine store, the regulars simply don’t give a fuck if you know they’re an alcoholic.

[–]handyjuanito 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Being an alcoholic, I can confirm this as well.

[–]__daco_ 52 points53 points  (8 children)

Makes sense, drinking a bottle of wine every evening is the only socially accepted way of being an alcoholic.

They just call it "vino" instead of wine and boom, they are cultural, not alcoholics.

[–]fhawlds 60 points61 points  (4 children)

I'm not having one glass of wine, I'm having six. It's called a tasting and it's classy.

[–]conundrum4u2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

you're a wine connoisseur - right?

[–]mdkgcw 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yep. I've worked as someone serving regulars alcohol and being the alcoholic. You recognise them fast and also recognise when the person begins to start recognising you. Funny thing is the alkies were the least problematic customers. Came in went out.

[–]Tru-Queer 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Last thing you wanna do is make a scene and get denied service.

[–]Scoobyginger23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg yes, I was extra polite and “composed” when very drunk or hungover so not to arouse suspicions

[–]visionsofblue 49 points50 points  (4 children)

Especially if they hold up the line because they won't stop talking to you.

[–]ryanhallows 14 points15 points  (1 child)

This has been my anxiety when it comes to small talk with working people. Anything that takes longer than the transaction feels like it’s wasting time

[–]handyjuanito 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Paint It Black plays softly in the distance

[–]AlmostNeverNotDrunk 19 points20 points  (9 children)

I am not saying a few employees at my local store tell me the total cost with tax of my bottle before they ring it up each time, but I could see that being a thing.

[–]fhawlds 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Bruh, it's really bad when it's an aldi and it's a $2.50 bottle of shiraz

[–]FabulousJeremy 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Having worked retail, I can confirm I don't give a shit about anyone who isn't a frequent flier. If they come in less than once every two weeks they get forgotten in all the traffic easily unless we've communicated multiple times and there's a good chance they might meet with different employees rather than me each time.

Like it takes some work to make a random retail worker to give a shit about your buying habits. If they're in the store daily or similarly often, I know who they are. Past that it becomes a crapshoot.

[–]CUM__IN__ME__BRO 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I have this weird thing with restaurants... If they start recognizing me and knowing what I'm going to get already I get shy and stop going 🙈

[–]JellyKapowski 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Living in a big city, I feel like I have a different cashier every time I go to the grocery store.

[–]AntRedundAnt 30 points31 points  (18 children)

You absolutely recognize people, especially at a liquor store near restaurants. Gotta know when to cut people off from buying nips

EDIT: Nips, or miniatures, are the 50 mL bottles. Smallest size available as far as I know. Nips might have been a colloquialism where I worked tho

[–]CharZero 3 points4 points  (12 children)

What are they doing? Pre-gaming in their car before dinner? Ordering cokes and sneaking in rum?

[–]dwmfives 31 points32 points  (1 child)

i don't know any retail clerk who has the emotional and mental energy to keep track of shit like that.

Unless you make a scene, chances are they won't remember you out of the 500 other people they deal with everyday.

I'm both a retail worker, and an alcoholic. I'm in my 30s. My experience does not line up with your comment at all. I was well known(in a positive way, I'm friendly, and always bought the same thing) at 5-6 different liquor stores, though only two by the entire staff.

And at work, in a store that sees 15-20k people on a slow week, we have a dozen or two people we all know and recognize, some even by name.

[–]BigDickEnergy123 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I haven't worked at 7/11 in three years, but I still remember.

The dude who visibly shakes and got 8 16oz mike's hard every day. About 40.

The bigger black out of breath cop who got 6 cans of a mix of 24 oz four loko/anything 10/12%.

The 60 year old who worked at Kroger and got a Natty Daddy and would visibly shakes enough to the point where he sometimes wasn't able to insert his chip.

The paul mall/steel reserve 60 yr old sweet black lady.

The 30 yr old lady who would get one of those 4 packs of stutter home and then come back an hour later and get the same thing.

I could go on a on and my memory is shit. As a clerk, you just tend to remember your customers. Especially ones you see every day.

[–]CommodoreBlackCock 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lads i be a pirate im an alcoholic and im having a party.

[–]fat_over_lean 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Nobody keeps track of it or gives a shit, but if you have regular customers you will naturally start to recognize them - even if they only come once every several weeks. 500 customers/day for smaller stores is a LOT of people, most small specialist stores see considerably less.

[–]Mortar_n_Pestle 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you've never worked in retail. You 100% recognize the regulars.

Even if you quit For years after you recognize them too.

[–]sigep_coach 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I want you to know that I got your joke, and I thought it was funny.

[–]fhawlds 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It does. I went to a 7-11 on the other side of town,not really on purpose, it's just where. I decided to stop taking trips for the night. Bam, there's the girl from my 7-11. She winks at me. Now I am for certain known as the alcoholic. nobody cares tho.

[–]notagoodboye 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Eh. A lot of people who drink enough to be classed an alcoholic, don't walk around publicly drunk. I used to know a guy who was a Friday-Sunday alcoholic. He drank as much as I drank in a week, between 5pm on Friday, and about 5pm on Sunday, then not at all for the rest of the week.

And I drink enough to be in a very suspect category myself, though, again, I don't drink every day.

[–]rxts1273 35 points36 points  (0 children)

In the frequently and quantities you buy alcohol i think all of tham know you're an alcoholic but none of tham knows how bad it is.

[–]zuzg 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I just order them online, the delivery guy doesn't judge me...

[–]Fig1024 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you need to learn to brew your own moonshine, that's how you get away with it

[–][deleted]  (17 children)


    [–]KawiNinjaZX 80 points81 points  (5 children)

    That guy probably has to drink 24 hours a day to function. He probably wakes up with shakes and they don't go away until he drinks. Its a really sad way to live, its why I quit drinking, I never liked my relationship with alcohol. Life is so much better without it.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]movieman94 44 points45 points  (0 children)

      I had 100 days earlier this year, thought I was over it for good.

      Turns out I was wrong.

      Be vigilant

      [–]WarGrizzly 11 points12 points  (10 children)

      Don’t you get a discount when you buy in bulk? I’m surprised he doesn’t just buy a case

      [–]newLittleDoug 61 points62 points  (1 child)

      Ahh, the logic of a non-addict...

      [–]spaghettiwithmilk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I'm quitting tomorrow because this shit is gonna kill me, so I should really only buy enough for today. Every day.

      [–]drkinsanity 45 points46 points  (2 children)

      Have to buy it in smaller amounts otherwise you’ll drink it all in the same amount of time.

      [–]spaghettiwithmilk 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Two things you can't have in the house as an alcoholic: 1.) more booze than you're willing to binge 2.) A gun

      [–]suto 21 points22 points  (2 children)

      This reminds me of an answer on an askreddit thread some time ago. The query was something about when retail clerks regret asking a customer about their purchase, I don't remember if it was specifically about alcohol. Story went like this:

      A young man goes into a liquor store and buys a fifth of some booze. The clerk asks, "Why don't you get the liter? We're having a sale, so the liter is actually cheaper." Customer replies, "I know. But whatever I buy I'm going to drink all of it today."

      [–]ravagedbygoats 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I noticed this with my using friends when I was a heroin addict. Most would wake up in the middle of the night to do their last shot. I always felt different because I didn't get the cravings others would get. I always made sure to save some for the next day.

      [–]BigUptokes 195 points196 points  (12 children)

      The casual drinker knows what time the liquor store closes.

      The alcoholic knows what time it opens.

      [–]groundbog 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      The alcoholic knows what time it opens.

      Same when working nightshift... and alcoholic.

      [–]Aerocity 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Former alcoholic here: I never kept track of what time they closed because I staggered my stores so much. There’s a lot of shame in anyone finding out you’re addicted, even if it’s just the near-stranger selling the shit to you.

      [–]restinghammer2315 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      The real alcoholic knows who opens the store

      [–]Milkshakes00 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      This. The alcoholics we tend to imagine when we talk about it (ie: non-functional alcoholics) are at the liquor store before they even open.

      My apartment was next to a liquor store. I'd be leaving to catch the subway at 6am and there would be 5 or so people lined up waiting.

      [–]panspal 16 points17 points  (1 child)

      I'm not an alcoholic but I know it opens at 10. They always have the same hours and it's really hard to miss when you go in the store.

      [–]acenarteco 47 points48 points  (7 children)

      I’ve been sober two years now and I sometimes wonder if my local liquor store thinks I’m dead. I wonder how often people disappear for a while, and then come back, and if clerks are ever aware of the relapse cycle like that. Like if you can just feel the “giving up” coming off of people.

      I also wait tables and I can definitely tell the alcoholics based on how antsy they get when they order their first drink. After one or two, perfectly fine, but you can kind of see the cranky desperation before that.

      [–]cooooook123 25 points26 points  (5 children)

      I've definitely gotten the sense I've enabled a couple relapses, primarily the same woman. Personally, I think she is super sweet but has big problems with drinking. She was either in everyday or you didn't see her for weeks and weeks. Then she'd come in and buy something small... and then next day it was back to the regular transaction. I don't work at that store anymore, but I hope she is doing better again.

      I do recall one guy who came in everyday for a handle of Skol for about 3 weeks. I've never seen him again after that period 😐

      [–]acenarteco 29 points30 points  (4 children)

      Oooof that last one hurts. My husband’s bout with alcohol-induced pancreatitis is the reason we sobered up and he had a similar habit to the handle guy.

      I think there’s a lot of stigma against alcoholism—people think it’s not a problem if you’re not the homeless guy on the corner, or you’re not beating your wife or driving drunk with your kids in the car. Everyone sort of expects a rock bottom sort of person that you can look at and see their demons right there on the surface, but in reality a lot of people who abuse alcohol might seem perfectly nice and functional on the outside. It’s truly an insidious addiction IMO and people tend to just shrug it off until it’s too late.

      [–]cooooook123 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      That's exactly right. It takes a lot of honesty and courage to acknowledge that there is a problem. The effects of the alcohol make it more difficult to reach that point.

      Edit: it really sucks to see my ex-roommate/friend accepting and personifying the alcoholic lifestyle :(

      [–]waltwalt 17 points18 points  (6 children)

      [–]HaveuseenLucky 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Haha, I was just replaying this sketch in my head as I was reading this thread!

      It's the continental way!

      [–]GarageQueen 38 points39 points  (0 children)

      I worked at 7-Eleven back in college. They drank so much that you could literally smell the alcoholics when they came in for their case of beer. It made me realize I could never work in a liquor store because it just made me so sad. (Also my grandfather was an alcoholic and it reminded me of him, so...)

      [–]micdeath 14 points15 points  (2 children)

      Tequila is my mouth wash.

      Whiskey is for my friends and horses.

      The wine is for the ladies that tag along with my friends.

      The 95% everclear is for my drinking straight to remind myself why I hate myself and then to forget the why.

      [–]greatunknownpub 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      And you think liquor store employees aren’t alcoholics themselves? They dgaf.

      [–]idonteatchips 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      YEP. Im pretty sure the Walgreens i frequently go to knows I'm a "wine mom" lol.

      [–]fhawlds 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Surely you're not there to buy chips

      [–]Independent_Oil_5951 636 points637 points  (91 children)

      My coworker was telling me how his drink of choice nowadays is a large portion of vodka with some mio or crystal light in it.

      [–]IsntThisAGreatName 301 points302 points  (39 children)

      Fuck I never thought of putting mio in vodka....thank you

      [–]killakurupt 209 points210 points  (11 children)

      All my carb counting regulars do this. Cheap bastards.

      [–]AlmostNeverNotDrunk 47 points48 points  (5 children)

      I've only ever done it with rum, but it definitely works. Be careful. lol

      [–]nosandwiches 82 points83 points  (12 children)

      This pretty much all I drink now. Vodka WATERS with mio. Lemonade is my favorite.

      Half and half vodka with plain water with mio. Makes you pee a lot but other than that it’s my favorite. Super cheap too, you can buy rot-gut and it’ll still take like lemonade lol

      [–]maymays01 68 points69 points  (7 children)

      This thread is making me feel better about my recent life choices... used to make moscow mules and it's slowly turned into water + lemonade mio + vodka because lazy.

      [–]thelastlogin 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      not lazy, efficient and cost effective. All in the branding.

      [–]nosandwiches 16 points17 points  (5 children)

      I mean lazy is one way to put it lol. Another way is low carb, low sugar (obviously compared to jack/cones or vodka/rebulls etc). Plus instead of that gnarly hangover the next day it’s just kinda mild at worst because you were chugging water all night

      [–]thorsbosshammer 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      As somebody hungover from my roommate introducing me to vodka mio last night, don’t.

      Or do. But be fuckin careful.

      [–]WifeKilledMy1stAcct 50 points51 points  (4 children)

      My mother told me when I was very young that vodka doesn't count as drinking because it's clear.

      It might have been a joke but I have followed those words for decades.

      [–]Azrael11 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that!

      [–]Voltairenikki 169 points170 points  (17 children)

      Crystal Light and Vodka are amazing - Raspberry Lemonade is a fan favorite

      [–]PSN-Colinp42 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I’ve been partial to vodka with the grape, or Malibu with the iced tea.

      [–]GarageQueen 26 points27 points  (1 child)

      Sparkling Ice was my mixer of choice this summer when I was feeling lazy and didn't want to make an actual cocktail.

      [–]RaFFsX3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Same! Tons of variety in flavors too

      [–]philosiraptor 485 points486 points  (58 children)

      At the beginning of this I was stunned to see a guy at the grocery store with a big stash of vodka in his cart - until I realized he was more likely going to try to make hand sanitizer. (This was when stores were empty and there were a lot of random sanitizer recipes floating around.)

      [–]Superbuddhapunk 396 points397 points  (14 children)

      “I’m making hand sanitizer... in my belly”

      [–]Jimnumber 65 points66 points  (3 children)

      Belly sanitizer

      [–]ReverendDizzle 29 points30 points  (2 children)


      [–]DICK_BREAKER 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      This comment has been banned by Bannitizer Global LLC.

      [–]wholesomethrowaway15 128 points129 points  (20 children)

      I dunno, one of my first purchases when this all started and I wasn’t sure if we were even going to be able to leave the house was a cart full of cheap vodka. To drink. I stupidly thought it would “get me through til it was over”. It did not.

      [–]Elevated_Dongers 50 points51 points  (11 children)

      If shit really hit the fan, alcohol would be a massively smart investment. Imagine if the means of production for liquor was cutoff.. the demand would soar. Also other drugs and porn

      [–]BlackSecurity 24 points25 points  (9 children)

      Pretty much all drugs would become prime real estate. In the event of a true apocalypse, the first place I'm heading is the drug store. Getting as much sanitizer, bandages and medicine I can carry, then I head to the liquor store, then my drug dealer.

      [–]Elevated_Dongers 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      If i had the space for it I'd just stock up on cheap liquor as finances allowed. I dont know that you'd ever lose money doing that, though only a real crisis would net you any gains

      [–]rndljfry 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      lol I bought like 5 packs of juul pods thinking the same thing

      [–]GarageQueen 39 points40 points  (16 children)

      I bought Everclear and put it into travel-sized spray bottles to stash in my purse for when hand sanitizer wasn't available.

      [–]sirJ69 57 points58 points  (6 children)

      And other emergency situations.

      [–]GarageQueen 18 points19 points  (5 children)

      Ha! No, just the hand sanitizer part. I don't even want to know what that stuff tastes like.

      [–]Elevated_Dongers 84 points85 points  (0 children)

      Hand sanitizer

      [–]bokidge 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      I took a shot of it in college and it felt like my esophagus was peeling

      [–]JohnConnor27 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      It tastes like jello at far as I can tell

      [–]Bonobo555 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Tastes like burning!

      [–]QuinceDaPence 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Open container laws intensify

      [–]alwaysintheway 17 points18 points  (3 children)

      That's a great idea, but you should try diluting it with just a little bit of water. Everclear is a 95% solution, while a 70% to 80% solution works better as an antiseptic.

      [–]apginge 19 points20 points  (2 children)

      Actually Everclear is not 95% in every state. California Everclear is 75.5% alcohol, because anything over 76.5% is illegal. This is true for other states as well.

      Most people don’t realize that Everclear has 4 different types (i.e., 60%, 75.5%, 94.5% and 95%).

      [–]crazy_tea_lady 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Liver sanitizer

      [–]hyrulepirate 347 points348 points  (25 children)

      This is the kinda shit that'll get posted in r/Millenialhumor in the future

      [–]Hingl_McCringleberry 177 points178 points  (19 children)

      It's taken from r/terriblefacebookmemes

      [–]stuckinle2012 87 points88 points  (17 children)

      Redditors think every meme is terrible unless its formatted like a Twitter screenshot

      [–]KevCar518 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      Facts. If this exact post was a Twitter sceenshot with the format “Me in 2019:” and “Me now” nobody would be saying it was a shitty meme

      [–]sidekicket 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Why is this content private?

      [–]Monotonegent 244 points245 points  (59 children)

      Yeah. You try being single and socially distant during a pandemic without alcohol.

      [–]KawiNinjaZX 155 points156 points  (36 children)

      Unfortunately this pandemic is creating a lot of alcoholics please be careful. Alcoholism is gradual and you are usually trapped before you realize it.

      [–]FrenzalStark 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Yeah I'm up to roughly 10 beers a day (big ones, I think Americans call them "tall boys"). Started being Monday and Tuesday off the drink, now it's just every day.

      [–]jaisaiquai 36 points37 points  (15 children)

      I noticed a lot of people depending on alcohol and other substances to get through weekends or the pandemic in general, it's made me super careful - I don't buy a lot at once and I never drink 2 days in a row.

      [–]Master_of_Rivendell 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I realized a long time ago that my issue is moderation, so now I limit myself to friday/saturday night, and I no longer buy anything larger than 750ml and a 6 pack of beer. If that's not enough then it's definitely time to stop.

      [–]Agent_KD637 26 points27 points  (4 children)

      I almost never drank alcohol by myself at home, but I started during lockdown/quarantine. A pack (6) of Cider on weekends at first, then added a bottle of wine on weekends, and now I've had two packs (12) of beer this weekend.

      It's not too bad since I don't drink on weekdays, but 6-12 drinks can still be considered binge drinking I guess. I have anxiety, and this pandemic sucks.

      [–]Blisc[🍰] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

      Friend, it's going to get a lot worse and a lot harder to quit, the further down this road you go.

      You're already at the justifying and downplaying stage.

      [–]ncsuwolf 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      It absolutely is binge drinking by the medical definition. Alcohol increases anxiety over time.

      [–]TaffySebastian 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      You should stop now, I begun with soft drinks, then some beer, then come cocktails, and now I drink nothing but vodka, you should stop while you can

      [–]technodoki 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      This pandemic made me admit in an alcoholic. I quit in June

      [–]visionsofblue 40 points41 points  (9 children)

      Find video games you like and you won't even notice when the pandemic is over.

      [–]Monotonegent 36 points37 points  (0 children)

      I have, but I still have to go to work in between. It's a fine line.

      [–]EccentricFox 26 points27 points  (3 children)

      Games or hobbies are a big help. I find just watching TV after work I may have two or three beers, but I took back up making some cosplays and after two hours I realized I had barely sipped a single beer. I think a big problem is lots of people (including myself) just do throw on some random Netflix and idly browse social media; it’s boring and unfulfilling, so you probably tend to drink a bit more. Personally, if I do something more engaging, I’ll barely touch my drink and not even think twice about it.

      [–]El_Giganto 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I played a lot of Final Fantasy this past year. I think from all the games I've played, that one isn't even the worst for drinking. Even though most of the time I can play with just one hand, I don't really feel the need to drink.

      But for a while I played some FIFA and during that game I'm just so used to taking a sip any time the game allowed me to. So that game, while probably more engaging and less accessible to take a sip, still made me drink more lol.

      [–]OBSTACLE3 125 points126 points  (7 children)

      That rabbit has a very punchable face

      [–]xanaxhelps 40 points41 points  (13 children)

      I’m an alcoholic in recovery and my recycling bin is like 99% seltzer cans. It looks like I had a massive rager every Monday when I take the trash out.

      [–]__intheweeds 15 points16 points  (3 children)

      God I swear I spend more on sparkling water than I did on vodka sometimes. Someone in a recovery sub recommended la croix and it has truly gotten out of control lol

      [–]grumblecaking 15 points16 points  (8 children)

      I can't recommend a soda stream enough! Congratulations on your sobriety!

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 92 points93 points  (18 children)

      Tonight I'm getting wasted for the first time in a month , I'll probably end up shitting the bed or something ..

      [–]JohnnyDinkleDick 68 points69 points  (14 children)

      God speed tenderlittlenipples. God speed. May you have all of these alcoholics blessings upon your voyage. For you already have mine

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 37 points38 points  (13 children)

      Bless your kind cock bro , tonight I'm starting of with a bottle of wine then beer until I wake up with a whore of a hangover .

      Throwing several bongs in the mix also . Going full blackout mode this evening .

      [–]brightness2high 16 points17 points  (6 children)

      But why

      [–]irishbren77 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      No no-there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today.

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This guy gets it ..

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I've pretty much been sober since April I need a wee blow out ..

      [–]tsbunny404 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Please make sure tenderlittlenipples stays hydrated and warm. I’ll raise my tomorrows Irish coffee to your morning prayers to the porcelain goddess.

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      You are too sweet I will do , look at us ... Look at us caring for each other feels good bunny error ..

      [–]TwoRaid 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      This tenderlittlenipples JohnnyDinkleDick conversation has me misty eyed from the wholesomeness

      [–]Dontdothatfucker 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Bruh, you can get wasted and not shit the bed

      [–]tenderlittlenipples 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Not in my world sir ..

      [–]zna55 89 points90 points  (9 children)

      Reddit default subs are really just Facebook now

      [–]Aaaqppeoub 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      I think the boomers discovered this site about 3 years ago and are destroying it like they did Facebook

      [–]metalgodwin 38 points39 points  (1 child)

      Stopped drinking alcohol after last New year, not something I planned to do, but because I was a drunk jerk who cheated, and it kinda woke me up. Figured I'd take a white year, realised over time I had some issues (by drinking every Friday and sometimes Saturdays), and I'll continue to be sober. After being sober for a a few months you stop thinking about being intoxicated as a luxury, well-being and no stress thinking about wether I should drink or not, is, at least to me.

      So glad I made the (indirect) decision this year, I'd be a raging alcoholic by no,due to covid,I think. Instead I've turned into a sober wholefood plant based dude, who work full time from home, and have the str to lift weights five-six days a week! Don't think I could have done that drinking up to several times a week.

      [–]zCiver 24 points25 points  (3 children)

      Patry people know when the store closes. Alcoholics know when the store opens

      [–]KingOfCook 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      I miss the NH Hampshire State Liqour store. Every thing is cheaper, there's no tax and they would do a promo where every $150 purchased netted you a $25 gift card. I would get a year supply for myself then ask around if anyone wanted anything. Back in college I would buy like $450 worth of stuff and use the cards to drink free.

      [–]Holmes02 71 points72 points  (34 children)

      Where’s his mask?

      [–]lafielle 78 points79 points  (5 children)

      Rabbits can't get COVID

      [–]mcdormjw 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I guess he can't have parties because his friends aren't fellow bunnies.

      [–]theneedfull 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      He left it at the party.

      [–]DisorderOfLeitbur 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Under the papier mache rabbit head

      [–]polkemans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      My girlfriend and I were loading up on alcohol at Trader Joe's. Among other things a whole case of wine for her mother who definitely is an alcoholic. The employee checking us out asked if we were having a party. I replied,

      *No, it just felt like a good time to become my father."

      He was so uncomfortable he didn't know if it was okay to laugh or not.

      [–]Papi_Queso 26 points27 points  (7 children)

      [–]SAT_Throwaway_1519 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      66 days sober and close to losing it. Thanks man

      [–]acenarteco 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Great sub. Even lurking keeps me focused a lot of the time, and the support there when you need it is fantastic.

      [–]AgreeableRub7 115 points116 points  (20 children)

      /r/funny has sure gone down hill.

      [–]gerusz 19 points20 points  (2 children)

      I've been a redditor for a decade now. People have been saying the same thing even back when I joined.

      [–]thomasry 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Every day, /r/funny is worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day you visit /r/funny, that's the worst it has ever been.

      [–]Eisnel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      “This subreddit has gone downhill” is the modern-day equivalent of “the kids these days”.

      [–]WatermelonBandido 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I've been hearing this for like a decade.

      [–]minesaka 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Back in the day you would cover your farts with a cough, 2020 you cover your coughs with a fart.

      [–]3rdrobin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      i am going to kill myself

      [–]calm_clams 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      That rabbit is a smug Cunt and I do not like him.

      [–]BirdSpatulard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      As an alcoholic, the power of the hooch overrides any notion of what people are thinking of me. As a liquor store manager, it’s obvious who is ashamed of their frequent shopping and who just wants to get back to the car to crack open the bottle. There’s little in-between behavior for the real alcoholic.