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4 years ago
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I posted in this sub a couple months ago about my ex. Long story short, we had a horrific rship where he was incredibly abusive, I dumped him, he begged for me back and literally 2 days later changed his mind and started dating someone else.

On the surface, he was super into her. They spent every day together, posting pictures, having fun, etc. Behind her back, he was still telling me how he was hung up on me but things just wouldn't work out between us (because he was/is a toxic asshole, but he couldn't deal w that lol). I did not disagree - I just didn't point out that the reason we didn't work out was all him.

3 months into their relationship, he dumps her (she didn't take it well, tried to change his mind multple times) and comes running back to me. I tell him if he works on himself, I'll consider it. He did not. He tried to lead me on into a situationship and I noped out of it real fast. He got angry and "sad" about my rejection - you know, because I didn't want to be led on.

Cut to a couple weeks later and as per usual, he's back to his fuckboy ways and oh yeah, his rebound girl has become one of his (many) fuckbuddies.

I cannot emphasize how sorry I feel for this woman, settling first for being a rebound and now hoping that if she hangs around long enough, he'll get back with her. She is in her... early 30s, I think, and I'm in my late 20s, and I truly wish I could tell her to please move on, stop wasting her life and leave this man who is only out to use her kindness. I put up with for 1.5 years and it was not worth it at all. He literally told me, "She's such a people pleaser it was becoming unattractive" and I was actually speechless.

Do not, I repeat, do not settle for being with an abusive or even neglectful man. Do not settle for being a rebound or for bare minimum. Be so wary of manipulative men who just got dumped and are lovebombing you because they're more likely hunting for validation than actually interested in you. You deserve better. You are worth so much more than people who are more interested in walking all over you than they are in you as a person.

Posted by13 hours ago

Ten years ago I got out of my last long term relationship and I started a dating journal. I was 26 at the time and have since kept track of every date I've been on. Today I went back and read through most of it and found it fascinating. I'm sure some of the changes were from my personality and preferences evolving over the years as I got older, but some are definitely major cultural changes.

Anecdotal trends I noticed: Openly dating is much more open. It's common for men to openly talk about the other women they are seeing now. This NEVER happened ten years ago, it seems like it really changed after COVID.

Dating apps seems to be the exclusive way to meet people now. Rarely does someone just come up and talk to me when I'm out. I also don't usually talk to a stranger when I'm out myself, so I'm part of the problem.

First dates are WAY more casual, personally I think it's a good change. Most are just a drink or a coffee. I haven't had a first date at a movie or full dinner since 2018.

I split all bills on dates now. Probably comes from a more stable financial situation being further in a career, but it seems like it's just understood that it's going to be split.

Guys apparently HATE wearing condoms now. Everytime I bring it up they act like I'm from the dark ages. "Oh, I haven't used a condom in years" is a common response. In almost all encounters when I started the journal it wasn't even a conversation, guys just put one on when it progressed to the point where we were having sex.

In their defense, almost every guy now has a recent STD test result on their phone and gladly shows it off.

To go along with this. If not specifically discussed, guy's not wearing a condom just don't pull out. In 2013-2016 that happened 0 times. No discussion was default to pull out. 2020-2023, 100% of the time if not discussed they did NOT pull out.

Grooming seems to have fallen away. Lot's of unkempt bushes, not a good trend.

Ghosting is super common now. Since 2020, 60% of guys I actually met for a date completely ghosted at one point with no reason given.


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Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and relevance.
Created Jul 16, 2009





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