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[–]EccentricEmu 9934 points9935 points  (206 children)

I think your wife might need a doctor or some therapy. What you've written sounds like she is having a disconnect from reality. Get professional help

[–]marsglow 3904 points3905 points  (92 children)

And hold off on the children for a while.

[–]BYoungNY 1278 points1279 points  (62 children)

Agreed. It could be as serious as a physical jssue, or means of coping with something that she did, either a concern with the cost of the wedding, or it could be postpartum to the wedding. Obviously this is a serious issue if she's completely denying it, but there are lots of women who spend so much time of their life planning "the perfect wedding" that when it's over, there's sometime anxiety and depression akin to what some athletes get when winning gold in the Olympics. It's over. That's it. You do it once and it's not happening again. Her approach to just simply denying it ever happened is odd, and there could be underlying issues to why, but it seems like she might be upset that the wedding and celebration is all over, and they're still paying for it. Either that or she cheated and has completely snapped and prefers to rather believe that she cheated on her boyfriend rather than her husband.

[–]OujiSamaOG 194 points195 points  (3 children)

These both sound like very reasonable explanations. Either way, sounds like she needs therapy.

[–]netcoder 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Postpartum means after child birth. The term you're looking for seems to be more something like PTSD.

[–]TheMinick 97 points98 points  (2 children)

Exactly that. Disconnect from reality is an issue here, and her emotional reaction to discussing her wedding. She needs to find a good therapist.

[–]WhimsicalReader 18.2k points18.2k points  (468 children)

You need to sit down with her seriously and make sure she's okay. This does sound like she could be having a break down and needs some help.

[–]runnybabbit91 18.0k points18.0k points  (431 children)

Or a brain tumor. This happened to a friend of mine and he started losing parts of memories. He had a tumor the size of a kiwi they had to remove.

EDIT: the fruit kiwi not the bird....

[–]austin0matic 6485 points6486 points  (104 children)

This is the exact way my friends mom was acting. Then they took her to the doctors eventually when it got really bad and found out she had a tumor pressing on some part of her brain. It was like she was transported 20 years into the past, but only in her head. She would start acting shy around her husband because she didnt know if he had a crush on her or not (Theyve been married for 15 years)

[–]smallest_ellieEarly 30s Female 2519 points2520 points  (90 children)

Is she okay? Are they all okay? Also, the last bit is cute, even if it's due to a brain tumor.

[–]austin0matic 2645 points2646 points  (89 children)

Yeah everyone is all good. That was about 5 years ago. Im not going to pretend like i know about brain tumors but my understanding was that she had a type of brain tumor that was easily removable but due to the position / location , it had some pretty serious symptoms like memory loss, loss of balance and some other weird stuff like what i described above. Ive talked to her since and she just said that she really doesnt remember the whole thing. In her mind, from beginning to end, from when she first started acting weird to the day she had the surgery done to remove the tumor, it was only like 1-2 weeks. Obviously, in reality it was over a year and a half, but she said thats how it is in her mind, about 2 weeks of being confused, then surgery, then back to her normal happy self. Kinda creepy that she has no recollection of almost an entire year out of her life.

An even creepier fact is that if you ask her about specific things that happened while she had the tumor, she can remember them, but if you ask her to bring up anything substantial on her own, she cant remember that entire year. For example

"What important event happened in August?" (My friends cousin graduated)

..."I have no idea, what happened?"

but if you ask her like this, she will remember:

"Do you remember Joeys Graduation in August?"

"OMG yes the whole family went and Ruth almost fell down the stairs because it was raining"

The brain is a weirrrrdddd thing

[–]smallest_ellieEarly 30s Female 646 points647 points  (11 children)

Wow! That's really fascinating. Used to work with people with dementia, it really matters A LOT which part of the brain is affected. Glad she's okay, thanks for elaborating :)

[–]Greenbunny21c 25 points26 points  (8 children)

Hi sorry to butt in, my Dad has dementia, I didn't that. So I guess different parts affected cause different symptoms/ behaviour? Sorry. I'll have to do some reading, thanks.

[–]smallest_ellieEarly 30s Female 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Oh, you're not butting in at all! I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, dementia can be so difficult for everyone involved. How are you holding up?

Dementia is a sort of umbrella term for people whose cognitive functions are impaired in certain ways. The most common being Alzheimers, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia and Lewy bodies, I believe. You can even have a mix of several types.

As an example of the variations that occur: Lewy bodies sometimes comes with hallucinations and often people have Parkinson-like symptoms (shaking and slow movements), but it doesn't always start out with the symptoms we commonly know from Alzheimers like short-term memory issues and disorientation.

If you know which type your dad has, it might be beneficial to your understanding of him, though sometimes it's hard to tell for various reasons and so the term used will be "dementia" (at least where I'm from).

If there's anything you'd like to know about my work with people with dementia, I'd be happy to talk to you, if you feel it'll help you at all. I'm not by any means an expert, but I've been very close with people with various types and have helped soothe them and made them feel safe and I've taken care of their general needs.

Regardless, tons of hugs from me to you ❤️

[–]Greenbunny21c 9 points10 points  (2 children)

You're so kind, thankyou so much! I really appreciate it. It's hard isn't it, my Dad was so interested in everything, and so clever. Now he struggles to change the channel on his tv. At first they thought it might be normal pressure hydrocephalus, but now it seems it's vascular dementia. He's also had 3 strokes which no-one knew until he had a scan. Anyway thankyou, lots of hugs back, you made my day 💕

[–]blondeprovocateur 361 points362 points  (29 children)

An even creepier fact is that if you ask her about specific things that happened while she had the tumor, she can remember them, but if you ask her to bring up anything substantial on her own, she cant remember that entire year.

Perhaps when she was prodded with a specific memory/points of reference, her brain is able to process it much faster than her trying to pull any recollection by herself.

[–]sisterfunkhaus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is recall versus recognition. Recognition is easier for the brain. Think multiple choice test versus short answer.

[–]NicholeCA 1507 points1508 points  (63 children)

A dear friend of mine had extremely similar symptoms to OP's wife which turned out to be Huntington's Disease. Its a terrible illness that I wouldn't wish on anyone. His wife is the right age for the onset and the symptoms you are describing are familiar to me. I hope they investigate Huntington's Disease. My sweet friend (now deceased) had all of these psychological symptoms for about a year and a half before any of the physical symptoms of the disease began to plague her. I know that i am more worried about Huntington's than the average Redditor- but they should at least see a dr and have her checked out properly.

[–]sciencechick92 180 points181 points  (32 children)

Huntington’s is hereditary though. OP would likely be aware if there was family history of HD on his wife’s side.

[–]NicholeCA 400 points401 points  (21 children)

It is hereditary but still uncommon. With my friend, her family had no idea they were carriers or even what Huntington's was. They traced it back to her great grandmother who at the time was committed to a mental hospital and passed away very quickly. Their best guess is that the great grandmother had it but honestly they would have never investigated the family tree before my friend's diagnosis. For her and her parents, it truly came out of nowhere.

[–]moonyfruitskidoo 309 points310 points  (4 children)

I work in a hospital with people with neurological disease. This story really sounds like a neurological issue, and I think you should talk to a doctor ASAP. EDIT:a word

[–]SnakeDoctor00 292 points293 points  (16 children)

I had an experience with someone with a brain problem. Wife called in to say her husband was depressed and wanted him evaluated (like for a mental health issue). I come out and talk with him. He’s in the bed and doesn’t seem phased that a cop is in his bedroom asking what year it is. He had just stopped going to work and when I asked he said he didn’t have work that day. It was a work day and definitely one he would be at work for. (EDIT wanted to add he was actually fired at this point because he had stopped coming going to work and never called them. They just assumed he didn’t care. No one knew at that point of any medical problems.)

I explain to the wife legally there’s nothing I can do and direct her to the courts. They get the proper paperwork done I come back out later. This time he gets up out of bed and just casually walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth. It’s about 4pm and he’s just getting out of bed.

Anyway I take him to the hospital and since I only happened to work that area that one day I couldn’t ever go back by. Well a few months later I was bugged by it so I called the wife. She was so relieved I called because she didn’t know how to reach me. Turned out the husband had stage 4 brain cancer which affected his logic and reasoning parts of his brain. They were on a track to get him the treatment he needed and his work was understanding of why his job performance was so low. They offered him back his work so he could get medical.

Honestly one of the best things I’ve been able to do to help someone and I still think about them often. It’s scary and shows it can happen to anyone without any physical warnings.

[–]Meems138 380 points381 points  (59 children)

I was thinking brain tumor as well

[–]desull 506 points507 points  (55 children)

I've seen enough Grey's Anatomy to know a brain tumor when I hear about one. OP needs to rush his wife to the ER and hope he gets a good intern who can diagnose this in 5 minutes.

[–]lesleypowers 308 points309 points  (5 children)

I’ve seen enough Grey’s Anatomy to know if it’s a brain tumor she’ll be totally fine. It’s that guy that came in with a broken toe whose wife keeps saying he’s fine that we really need to worry about, that guy is fucked.

[–][deleted] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

Or anurysm. My aunt had one the day of my uncles wedding, she was acting loopy and freaking about not getting her laundry done.

[–]AlitaAia 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Even some forms of dementia can form this early, there are a lot of neurological issues that can present signs and symptoms like this. OP get your wife to a doctor!!

[–]Jreal22 466 points467 points  (10 children)

Yeah, denying reality is pretty serious. If you told a doctor this, they would most likely admit her for a whole work up because she's basically refusing to admit a massively significant thing in her life didn't happen, and is asking you to help perpetuate this false narrative.

I'd contact your family doctor, schedule a checkup. Make sure you mention exactly what is going on in the relationship, and if nothing is physically wrong then obviously see a psychiatrist and it's important you guys need to see one together. Her reality could be distorted, you need to be there to confirm anything going on.

Either that or she's seeing someone else and is trying to somehow not feel as guilty by pretending she's "only" your girlfriend.

But I'd go with the first one, she's having some mental health issues.

But don't freak out, if she is, luckily you've realized that and they can help her.

Good luck, wish you guys the best.

[–]moronicuniform 181 points182 points  (2 children)

Basically rule out anything physical before we jump to mental health, but all the same, OP should NOT have any unprotected sex until this is figured out. No kids. Nu-uh. If this turns into divorce or senility you do not want to deal with pregnancy, post-partum, and raising a baby on top of divorce and whatever else.

[–]Cat_Jerry 12.0k points12.0k points 3 (186 children)

If she got upset when friends talked about her table decorations it sounds like OP's wife genuinely believes they are not married. As per other comments, meds or other health issues can cause this. Go to a doctor.

I know 2 people who acted weird and did really crazy and dangerous things totally out of character (one of them involved a tractor) because their meds had messed up their calcium levels. Go to a doctor.

[–]tangentc 2734 points2735 points  (44 children)

This! She is displaying confusion when discussing the wedding and your relationship. This sounds like a medical issue (physical or mental). She needs medical attention immediately.

[–]MrGumburcules 1154 points1155 points  (25 children)

I also want to mention that if she really doesn't remember (which I think is the case), OP should keep in mind how scary this must be for her.

[–]CeleryBunch 532 points533 points  (17 children)

That would explain the crying in front of friends when asked about a wedding she says she doesn’t know about. I mean, I feel like that’s a weird reaction if she were just playing mind games with OP or wanting to leave him. Truly bizarre.

[–]fabuliszt 244 points245 points  (13 children)

Exactly. This could be her crying over the fact that she SHOULD remember the fact that she married and maybe she feels guilt??

[–]january_stars 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Or alternatively, she may have felt frustrated that not only was her "boyfriend" pretending that they were married, but he has now got her friends in on the joke to tease her.

[–]anonymous8bilx3 138 points139 points  (3 children)

There are many things that can lead to a loss of memory. Few of them include aneurysms and brain tumors. Both being lethal.

Seeing a doctor is definitely needed, just to be sure. Things affecting the brain or heart should always be checked out immediately.

[–]ZelTheViking 1116 points1117 points  (7 children)

In case OP is reading this

GO TO A DOCTOR

[–]KarateJames 59 points60 points  (16 children)

Can we hear the tractor story?

[–]Anonymous_Stork 38 points39 points  (6 children)

Yes we need some attention on the tractor story please

[–]GinchAnon 687 points688 points  (71 children)

Suddenly wanting matching tatoos like that is a rather immature thing to suddenly want at 33, particularly when other behavior is "distancing" like that.

kinda sounds like she has lost several years and is trying to cover for incongruities between the reality that everyone else is seeing and what she remmebers.

[–]mothermedusa 342 points343 points  (57 children)

While I agree with the possibility of this woman losing years...wanting to get matching tattoos is not necessarily immature. I am forty and my partner and I are gonna get a couple.

[–]a_catermelon 150 points151 points  (33 children)

Their point was that getting matching tattoos when the rest of her behaviour was distancing herself from him was immature, not that getting matching tattoos in and of itself was immature

[–]tommiboy13 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Ive seen people suggest carbon monoxide poisoning when people change their behavior or recall memories differently. Especially since a lot of people are staying at home recently.

[–]AuselessbusEarly 30s Female 23.1k points23.1k points  (435 children)

Sounds like a mental breakdown.

Go see a doctor or a therapist.

[–]hamburger666666Late 20s 5684 points5685 points  (104 children)

agree, sounds like this woman really needs some help

[–]Treblosity 2012 points2013 points  (52 children)

yeah it kinda seems like she just might not know.

idk if this is gonna be helpful but can you imagine that? like you think youre in a stable relationship with your boyfriend then all of a sudden find out youve been married for 5 years?

Didnt adam sandler make a movie about this? "50 first dates" i think?

[–]B3yondL 679 points680 points  (40 children)

I think it's an age issue, she feels old.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Win32error 152 points153 points  (2 children)

    If that’s all that’s going on it’s honestly even weirder. Normal people complain they’re getting so old in their 30’s, not deny their marriage.

    [–]Maydaysos 389 points390 points  (14 children)

    I was thinking the same thing. Bf and gf reminds me of young love fresh passion of youth. Ive been married 15 years but sometime i look back at our bf gf stage and the proposal with fond memories of being young and in love with your futures ahead of you. Idk might be more serious, but i did get this vibe.

    [–]Pytheastic 219 points220 points  (11 children)

    This is a pretty excessive way of showing that though, I get where you're coming from but denying you're even married and crying in front of friends seem a bit much for someone not feeling as young as she once did?

    [–]HallucinateZ 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Yeah it's probably a little of the age issue and a mental breakdown. She should absolutely see a psychologist. My psychologist has done wonders for my day to day life.

    [–]TyGeezyWeezy 434 points435 points  (46 children)

    It’s so easy to tell op that she needs a doctor or a therapist but have you ever actually tried to get someone with a mental mishap to go to the doctor? It’s damn near impossible and risk a heated confrontation. Or worse.

    [–]WhitePawn00 296 points297 points  (9 children)

    I mean what else are internet comments supposed to do? Be like every other relationship advice post and tell them to cut and run? The therapist response isn't an easy answer but its probably the best answer given just how weird the situation is.

    [–]Gornarok 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    To add to that, OP doesnt have to bring his wife to health professional at first.

    I dont think its unreasonable to ask for help and discuss the situation with therapist and to work on a plan how to help how to help his wife.

    [–]CappinPeanut 153 points154 points  (7 children)

    Tell her you want to go to pre-marital counseling so you can prepare for your life together. Probably want to clear it with the therapist first.

    [–]lovelynoms 74 points75 points  (0 children)

    Or pre-parent counseling, since apparently they're talking about kids?

    [–]mewsagi[🍰] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Ok, and? What do you suggest instead?

    Her shift is really concerning and I’d hope he cared enough to suggest they go to therapy or to the doctors because of his concern. Sure, she might get mad, but that’s not nearly as bad as the alternative, which is not even bringing it up.

    [–]Syfte_ 66 points67 points  (0 children)

    risk a heated argument. Or worse.

    Given what's at stake those are risks worth taking.

    [–]lexie7191 2020 points2021 points  (193 children)

    Yeah, mental breakdown or even some neuro issue? Does she KNOW they actually got married? Maybe something is making her forget? Is she acting normally in the other aspects of life?

    [–]sexy_corpse 186 points187 points  (9 children)

    Neuro is my concern. She needs a medical doctor AND therapy asap. OP seems to be having surface conversations, but he needs to dig deeper.

    [–]NicholeCA 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    I do not want to jump to any conclusions, please see a Dr very very soon. A dear friend of mine had extremely similar symptoms to your wife which turned out to be Huntington's Disease. Its a terrible illness that I wouldn't wish on anyone, your wife is the right age for the onset and the symptoms you are describing are familiar to me. Please investigate Huntington's Disease and see a medical professional; my sweet friend (now deceased) had all of these psychological symptoms for about a year and a half before any of the physical symptoms of the disease began to plague her. I wish you and your wife well and I hope this is not the case.

    [–]buttdip 59 points60 points  (7 children)

    I thought the same thing at first but the fact that she specifically asked for a girlfriend card instead makes me believe she knows they're married. That, and she came up with an excuse to not wear the ring. She KNOWS she took off the ring. Hopefully she gets some help though because it's definitely odd.

    [–]THRWAY1222 2385 points2386 points  (154 children)

    Exactly. Honestly this sounds like a severe mental health crisis, a medical and/or neurological issue or dare I say it, early onset Alzheimers. OP, is she currently taking any medications that have forgetfulness as a side-effect? My mom got some really strong medicine to counter tremors she has in her legs and she started behaving really irrationally on them. We feared the worst but it was the meds bashing holes into her memory.

    In any case, this is not normal, not normal at all. She needs professional and medical help immediately.

    Edit: people have pointed out her behavior doesn't line up with early onset Alzheimers, while others say it does. Anyway I'm obviously not a medical professional, so I'm leaving it up to them. I can say with certainty that this is above reddit's paygrade though.

    [–]T4coT4ctical 546 points547 points  (45 children)

    FWIW: This is not early-onset Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's dementia doesn't simply erase specific memories, and other symptoms would be present as well.

    I think side-effects/medication or another medical issue (TIA, TBI, etc), if OP's wife isn't just in denial.

    [–]coswoofster 321 points322 points  (19 children)

    Trauma. Trauma acts like this and marriage brought up something she may not even want to address. She needs support.

    [–]manuplow 147 points148 points  (11 children)

    Trauma is hypothesis #1. Dissociation from stimuli that trigger trauma memories is powerful, and confusing as heck to those observing. Her tearfulness is a giveaway that jusssst under the surface she had big emotions tucked away.

    [–][deleted] 106 points107 points  (6 children)

    Yeah, that was my first thought. I’ve seen patients with trauma that has been buried go into odd dissociative states with delusional beliefs

    They also get upset when confronted on the delusion, like OP’s wife.

    [–]coswoofster 60 points61 points  (2 children)

    Because the delusion is the brain’s way of protecting itself from the pain.

    [–]vU243cxONX7Z 200 points201 points  (9 children)

    Actually my grandmother, who died of Altzheimers, did this exact thing with my grandpa. It was not the first symptom, but it was the only specific memory that she never wavered on and never could be convinced otherwise. One day she just decided that she was not married. She never did get married. If she had gotten married, she wouldnt marry that old man. She couldn't believe that her kids were calling "that man" their dad. Period. One day she came to that conclusion, and we could never convince her otherwise for even a second. Other people that she didn't remember we would tell her who they were and she would just accept it, but she would never even entertain the ide that she was married. It really sucked for my grandpa.

    [–]heywhatsup9087 73 points74 points  (0 children)

    That’s heartbreaking. I’m sorry your family had to experience that. Alzheimers is such a sad disease.

    [–]TatooinesMostWanted 217 points218 points  (74 children)

    I don’t think it’s memory issues though because she seems to know she’s his wife, she just doesn’t want to be. There’s something going neurologically going on though.

    [–]Piaffff 255 points256 points  (11 children)

    Yeah, her first asking “what wedding?” and then tearing up and just exiting the situation when confronted with details – this sounds like it could be some heavy psychosis-like denial. It’s possible. But on the other hand, it could be that she just has a very weird way of acting up.

    [–]NicholeCA 37 points38 points  (9 children)

    Huntington's Disease. I made a longer comment explaining my reasoning, I hope OP sees it and at least investigates the possibility of it being the early phase of Huntington's.

    [–]--artyOm-- 533 points534 points  (17 children)

    This is above reddits pay grade.

    [–]Sunlight72 125 points126 points  (1 child)

    Yes, definitely a situation for trained professional help. Like yesterday.

    [–]JustOneTessaEarly 20s Female 49 points50 points  (3 children)

    You guys are getting paid? I agree tho. He and she needs to find a professional asap

    [–]saf1717 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    Honestly my first thought was neuro issue. Please get her some medical help

    [–]sambeano 354 points355 points  (37 children)

    I got a different take on it. It's possible she feels like she's now just a "wife" as opposed to being a sought-after person, ie. girlfriend, or someone planning the most exciting day of her life, a bride. Once the magic of being a bride wears off and you become a wife, it might lead to a slump for someone who didn't look past the wedding into the actual marriage. It feels like she might be depressed not to have something exciting in her life, and by denying it, she's trying to reclaim the past.

    Either way, a therapist is the way to go.

    [–]0prichnik 403 points404 points  (27 children)

    I thought the same until "got visibly upset and left the room when asked about her own wedding" part. That sounds way more drastic. That IS how people with memory/emotional issues respond to being challenged or confronted with a reality that doesn't match their own.

    [–]sambeano 89 points90 points  (8 children)

    It's definitely possible, especially the emotional issues I think. Funnily enough, it reminds me of my FIL who enjoyed our wedding so much he admitted to being in a complete funk for a month afterwards, and this is a stoic and gruff British old-school man I'm talking about. He was worried I had depression afterwards and kept checking in on me, which I found very sweet that he was concerned about me for no reason other than his own enjoyment of the day.

    [–]aliencatgrrr 29 points30 points  (7 children)

    This is so adorable I don’t even know what to say!

    [–]Darkliandra 45 points46 points  (1 child)

    Or maybe an age related crisis and feeling that girlfriend is "younger". Definitely needs a professional opinion.

    [–]Princess-She-ra 43 points44 points  (0 children)

    Yes, unless she is into some weird long running "jokes", this is extremely odd behavior.

    The only other thing I can think of is did you plan to have a religious ceremony and then didn't follow through?

    [–]coswoofster 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    Yeah. She is disassociating for some reason and it’s getting worse. She needs some support. If she won’t go he needs to.

    [–]Wander_Pig 5082 points5083 points 3& 5 more (50 children)

    This sounds like a serious mental health crisis. I would schedule an appointment with a trusted physician to first rule out any physical injury or issue that could be causing this somewhat sudden onset of denial, and request scans of her head to rule out anything serious. If she’s otherwise physically “healthy” then it’s time to see a psychologist.

    Either way: I suggest you be gentle with her at the moment. I would avoid confronting her about this topic. The fact that she said, “what wedding?” and had teared up, leads me to believe there is something very serious happening to her -whether it’s physical or mental - and in either case you are definitely not equipped to handle it.

    And if she is on the brink of some kind of emotional collapse? You don’t want to be the one who pushes her over the edge by demanding answers or forcing her to look at photos of a wedding that she can’t remember.

    As someone who has personally experienced some very serious mental health problems that included a sudden loss of short term memory, I cannot tell you just how SCARY it is to feel betrayed by your own mind like that. Get her some help immediately. Good luck, OP.

    [–]Samazonison 362 points363 points  (5 children)

    u/throwra_lovehelp This right here is the best answer. Get her to a doctor asap. And be kind, not accusatory. My gut feeling from what you have posted is that this is not something malicious on her part, but an actual physical or psychological problem. Please help her.

    [–]Paul_newoman 90 points91 points  (2 children)

    Jumping in in hopes this is seen - she is really going to need a trusted advocate by her side, especially when navigating the medical field/doctors. Women in crisis tend to be dismissed or misdiagnosed as hysterical. All of my fingers are crossed that this will not be your experience, but you KNOW something is wrong, and you need to push to make sure this is being taken as seriously as it obviously is. Do not accept there isn't an underlying issue without thorough and genuine inquiry.

    Godspeed, my heart goes out to you both.

    [–]violet-gin 424 points425 points  (2 children)

    This needs more upvotes! Compassion, compassion, compassion

    [–]annasback 50 points51 points  (1 child)

    I had to scroll too far to find this comment

    [–]LurkingLikeASavage 34.6k points34.6k points 44& 5 more (835 children)

    No kids until you find out what the hell is going on.

    [–]mealteamsixty 17.9k points17.9k points  (631 children)

    And no matching tattoos!!

    [–]Cool_As_Your_Dad 5841 points5842 points  (314 children)

    but matching track suit is a go!!!!

    edit: but keep us up to to date OP!.

    [–]shaftoolak 786 points787 points  (294 children)

    Username checks out

    p.s: but seriously OP, update.

    RemindMe! 4 days

    [–]Burbury13 90 points91 points  (19 children)

    Dude! You got a tattoo!

    [–]mustard_tiger2112 75 points76 points  (18 children)

    Ohh dude what does it say!

    [–]sgraves24 75 points76 points  (16 children)

    SWEET!

    [–]ilovedrivethrus 70 points71 points  (12 children)

    dude you got a tattoo too!

    [–]sgraves24 31 points32 points  (3 children)

    That movie was so dumb but I truly loved it. Haven’t watched it in years. I’m sure it hasn’t aged well.

    [–]Chimera_Tail_Fox 58 points59 points  (6 children)

    Whats mine say???

    [–]11Johnny511 66 points67 points  (4 children)

    DUDE!

    [–]Burbury13 26 points27 points  (3 children)

    What about mine?

    [–]NotDougC 30 points31 points  (2 children)

    SWEET! But what does mine say?

    [–]michikokopuffs 829 points830 points  (231 children)

    Matching tattoos should be illegal

    [–]MudokonPopCulture 687 points688 points  (125 children)

    As a tattooist I wholeheartedly agree. The amount of cringe I've seen...

    [–]ssnakeggirl 204 points205 points  (13 children)

    I've had exactly one experience of matching tattoos. two of my friends wanted to get the same tattoo. I referred one of them to my tattooist and he did a great job. The second friend backed out of after the first already got the tattoo. Oops.

    [–]mmikke 77 points78 points  (8 children)

    Matching tattoos between friends seems far less terrible than matching couples tats

    [–]ssnakeggirl 54 points55 points  (3 children)

    They aren't friends anymore! This was right at the end of their friendship.

    The only good thing that came out of it is that the girl who did get the tattoo got a great tattoo from a great artist, and the artist got to make some money interacting with a cool client. And I guess she also made a break from a toxic "friend" and she's probably better off without that person anyway.

    I'm very very glad she went to him and not to someone who is terrible and unhygienic though. Like at least it's a nice tattoo. Could be worse.

    [–]Drumlin 71 points72 points  (4 children)

    Been happily married 24 years. I would do a matching tattoo, but no names. Nope. Aint happenin.

    [–]AyameM 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Yeah no names period. My husband and I got our anniversary in roman numerals. Even if it goes south (married for 14 years) it was a life changing moment in a good way for me.

    [–]pencilpushin 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    Also a tattooer. Also wholeheartedly agree

    [–]koka558 102 points103 points  (66 children)

    My sister and I want to get somewhat matching tattoos. They probably will just both be flowers from our hometown or something though, and will likely not be exactly the same. I think there might be ways to do matching tattoos alright

    [–]OraDr8 70 points71 points  (9 children)

    I have a non-matching tat with my daughter, we had them done together, both on the same spot but no one would know they're related unless told. Her's is a leaf and mine is a flower. No regrets of course. She'll always be my daughter!

    [–]juleznaileditEarly 30s Female[🍰] 74 points75 points  (36 children)

    I think that idea is super cute! A friend of mine has "1 of 3" tattooed and her sisters have 2 and 3 of 3 tattooed. I think it's a little different when you're siblings/family. Not to say that a husband or wife isn't family.

    [–]Applebottomgenes75 173 points174 points  (26 children)

    I told my kids if they got tattoos before they were 18 their dad and I would get matching tatts and tell everyone it was a family tattoo. The cringe factor kept them in line. None of them has tested us on that so far thank God.

    [–]juleznaileditEarly 30s Female[🍰] 26 points27 points  (10 children)

    That's amazing, the ultimate troll!! You sounds like really cool parents!

    [–]Applebottomgenes75 59 points60 points  (9 children)

    My kids would disagree...mind you, the 2 eldest are now in their 20s and no ink yet. The youngest has asked for a tattoo for his 18th to cover some terrible scars on his back. I agreed and so long as he does his research, picks a great tattooist I'll pay for it. He's only 13 but he's known for years exactly what he wants. If he lives with that idea for 5 more years and is still sure, I'm completely on board.

    [–]salutishi 74 points75 points  (8 children)

    There's definitely a difference between getting a matching tattoo with your sister and getting one with your partner! You know for sure that your sister will always be your sister.

    [–]mcht42 75 points76 points  (4 children)

    "Dear Reddit, I just had my DNA profiled and..."

    [–]The_Real_Raw_Gary 701 points702 points  (3 children)

    As someone who is dealing with a divorce after having a child OP you need to seriously listen to this person.

    I love my son but being a single parent is hard. Thinking your relationship is rock solid and there’s a weird period is totally different than seeing the situation from the outside. Listen to advice you might not see yourself.

    [–]Ced67 49 points50 points  (0 children)

    I'm in the same boat. You don't want that OP.

    [–]Grilledkhalcheesi 490 points491 points  (33 children)

    100% This. Please don’t bring any children into a relationship in this state. You need to figure this thing out first.

    [–]anderhole 996 points997 points  (56 children)

    This needs to be the advice OP takes from this thread more than anything else.

    I would guess wifes having some kind of breakdown related to realizing she's growing up. A child would really screw things up.

    [–]atonalpotatoes 210 points211 points  (8 children)

    A child rarely helps mend a broken relationship. I’ve seen too many friends make that mistake.

    [–]roho1 59 points60 points  (0 children)

    ive seen too many friends grow up with issues because their parents made that mistake

    [–]nomadicfangirl 128 points129 points  (42 children)

    She is closing in on 30. That number does something strange to some people.

    Edit: I can’t read and thought she was the 29 year old. I’ll go back to my coffee now.

    [–]SulcataGirl 290 points291 points  (27 children)

    She's 33, he's 29. But your point still stands. Maybe she's realizing the permanence of their marriage and having some sort of mid-life crisis. By OP's description it sounds like their relationship is otherwise good. But her reaction to ignoring the wedding and crying about discussing the arrangements is incredibly odd. I might also get her checked out for a possible medical explanation. This wouldn't be the first time on here a drastic change like this has been explained by a brain tumor or something similar.

    [–]nomadicfangirl 71 points72 points  (3 children)

    Yes. Coffee hasn’t kicked in yet LOL

    I was also wondering if maybe she bonked her head and OP doesn’t know about it and she’s having some memory loss because of that. Either way, he needs to get her to both a medical doctor and therapist soon.

    [–]Igotalottaproblems 120 points121 points  (19 children)

    Agreed, this is boardering delusional behavior. Sometimes brain tumors cause this, sometimes mental illnesses arise, sometimes other medical conditions are arising. Maybe it's her quarter life crisis. I think you should do your best to express your concern but if she gets weirdly violent or starts crying uncontrollably/laughing uncontrollably, I'd call 911 to help you get her checked out. It's not a "crazy person" thing. That would cover that something is more medically wrong and she should go to a doctor (GP or...if she is comfortable, a Psy D)

    Do your best to ask lots of questions and not accuse her of anything. Use lots of "I" statements. "Im concerned that you dont want to be my wife anymore. I feel very hurt when I am not referred as your husband because I take great pride in our relationship and I greatly cherish it."

    [–]SulcataGirl 83 points84 points  (2 children)

    "Im concerned that you dont want to be my wife anymore. I feel very hurt when I am not referred as your husband because I take great pride in our relationship and I greatly cherish it."

    This such a smart way to approach the conversation. OP, this is excellent advice!

    [–]kdd19 221 points222 points  (11 children)

    I’m not here to diagnose anyone but she needs a psych (psychiatrist) evaluation stat.

    Edited to add she probably needs to see a neurologist as well for the possibility of tumor or disease, many early onset diseases can manifest with her behaviors.

    [–]dreamendDischarger 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    Yes this, please get her to the doctor! There might be something actually wrong, especially if this is sudden.

    [–]BreakingBombs 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    I was thinking brain tumor. It happened to a close family member and they forgot a lot of details of their life and it even changed their personality before it was discovered and removed.

    [–]Rysexi 11.3k points11.3k points  (504 children)

    Have you ever asked her directly about the issue?

    Just ask "why do you keep calling yourself my Gf instead of my wife?"

    See what happens and keep us updated

    [–]morethandork 5643 points5644 points  (389 children)

    Feels like over 50% of posts in this sub could be solved or at least enormously benefit from a simple direct question. Instead we get posts like this one where OP is actively avoiding the issue and instead of confronting their partner, turns to Reddit.

    [–]mobilethrowaway11 1082 points1083 points  (148 children)

    Tbf, if OP were the sort the ask simple direct questions, the story probably wouldn't make it to us.

    [–]SharkInHumanSkin 755 points756 points  (47 children)

    Or OP did and the answer was vague and dismissive and OP didn't really know how to push the issue or was too baffled to continue

    [–]Samazonison 386 points387 points  (20 children)

    From the post, this sounds like exactly what has happened.

    [–]Rysexi 80 points81 points  (15 children)

    Yep. There should be some kind of FAQ for this.

    [–]PyTec-Ari 155 points156 points  (13 children)

    Hi something weird is going on in my relationship, I've tried rubbing lemon juice in my eyes, sacrificial goats, incense and tarot cards, as well as saying beetlegeuse three times in a shabby-chiced mirror, can anyone help?

    [–]salad48 67 points68 points  (5 children)

    Have you tried turning her off and on again?

    [–]Notsurehowtoreact 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Damn, no, I can only manage the turning them off bit.

    [–]LessRemoved 1169 points1170 points  (47 children)

    Okay, first off let me say how sorry I am to hear you're going through this.

    Over a year and a half ago I took it s step further by dropping the bomb on my family with divorce. My wife and I at the time we're married for 10 years.

    For me this feeling came out of nowhere, I love my wife dearly and wouldn't be able to live without her.

    After she let me run with it for a month or 3 in which I even moved out the house and moved in with my dad (Also something I said I'd never do) she finally got me to move back in and agree to testing at the neurology department.

    This lead to a complete run down of everything in my head. And I'm afraid to say that it was the cause. I have been diagnosed with FTD (Frontal temporal dementia). This changed me in ways that my family and friend and even myself couldn't and still can't fathom.

    I'm not saying your wife has the same but it really all sounds horribly familiar.

    Have you ever explored medical options, even if just for yourself regarding your wife's behaviour?

    If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask 😊

    [–]haaskalbaas 309 points310 points  (8 children)

    Shew, I was afraid somebody would come up with a reason like this. "teared up" was what made me think it sounds like a dementia of some kind.

    [–]LessRemoved 146 points147 points  (4 children)

    I'm living this description, it does suck and the toll it has taken on my children is massive. But together we've come out stronger as a family.

    Hope to god OP's wife does not have something like I do.

    [–]nopedadoo 103 points104 points  (2 children)

    I lost my 35 year old brother to FTD. All my best wishes for you and your family, it is a tough road and often can feel isolating due to is unusual nature. There are some amazing support networks out there though, so make sure you and your family reach out if you need it!

    [–]LessRemoved 48 points49 points  (1 child)

    Ikr, it's a true rollercoaster. But for me the positive is that I'm not really concious about the changes until someone points them out. I hardly know there's something wrong with me. My kids and wife are fantastic and really help me in ways I didn't think we're possible. And we joined a support group already and via that group now have contact with professionals that already help us.

    On the other hand we're all quite sober about it, these are the cards life dealt us. So we'll play the hand and see how it all ends up eventually 😊

    [–]Apathyistheanswer 83 points84 points  (6 children)

    This sounds tangentially very similar to what happened with my parents. They were happily married for over 20 years, and then over the span of six months, my mother changed completely. She became reckless and temperamental, and filed for divorce shortly afterward. My father was, and still is utterly confused as to what happened. He still loves her with every fiber of his being, while she is actively severing ties to her past life/family.

    She hasn't been to a doctor for any sort of diagnosis, but she's not the same person. The change was so rapid that I can't help but believe there is some underlying medical condition.

    [–]LessRemoved 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    This sound totally familiar too, we also talk to slot of others in the same situation and the story is one nearly set in stone. Similarities are huge, maybe you should talk to your mom.

    [–]Apathyistheanswer 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    I appreciate the advice. I'm definitely going to continue trying to really talk with her. She remains very evasive, but I worry about her immensely.

    [–]LessRemoved 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    You're welcome, always happy to help.

    It's going to be hard from what I gather, but be persistent and you eventually will prevail.

    With FTD the biggest issue is that there is absolutely no self awareness of the desease. Took my wife a while to penetrate my changed demeanor.

    [–]seraphsrage 104 points105 points  (3 children)

    .....I do not want to be this guy, but schedule a scan for brain tumors/lesions/etc. even benign ones can cause problems. I hope it was just a long term trolling though.

    [–]RagnarLothbrok23 364 points365 points  (5 children)

    Need to see a doctor ASAP. Not sure what it could be but forgetting something like that or not wanting to remember their wedding is concerning.

    [–]hellseashell 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    DOCTOR FIRST!!! This is likely way more serious than a psychological issue!

    [–]caesar____augustus 93 points94 points  (1 child)

    This is extremely bizarre. Completely denying the wedding happened and incorrectly labeling your relationship status but also insisting everything is ok is not normal. I typically don't leap to these conclusions but it sounds like she has some serious mental health issues and needs to seek professional help.

    [–]SleepyEdgelord 2853 points2854 points  (93 children)

    4 options I see:

    • She feels old. 33 is still quite young but she might be self concious about her appearance. Society pushes high standards of youthfulness on women. The fact that she's the older party in a heterosexual relationship might make her more insecure. People have their own associations with words. Perhaps she associates "wife" with a frumpy old lady in an apron and "girlfriend" with a cool, pretty college girl partying and living her best life.

    • She has someone on the side and she's trying to distance herself from your relationship. Unlikely, as you say your relationship is good.

    • She has some mental problems. She might be losing memory, dissociating etc.

    • She might be anxious about the future of the relationship. Even if your relationship is good, maybe there's a problem with the amount/type of affection? Just because it seems stable and sex is good, doesn't mean it couldn't be better - maybe you speak a different love language? Or maybe, if that's not her first relationship, she has suffered heartbreak in the past and is now insecure?

    I think you should seek therapy - both couples' therapy and personal therapy for her.

    [–]soursheep 916 points917 points  (20 children)

    there's another option. he's married her evil twin while she was in a coma and now that she's awakened she doesn't know why he'd call her his wife and denies it at every turn. /s

    seriously though he really needs to start asking the right questions instead of beating around the bush with her and asking if she has an issue with their relationship.

    [–]jackmavis 141 points142 points  (11 children)

    That first part sounds like a terrible Lifetime movie. I mean, I'd still watch it (and hate myself after).

    [–]greenbeanbaby95Early 20s Female 53 points54 points  (2 children)

    Hahahaha sounds like your typical telenovela

    I'd still watch it (and hate myself after).

    same

    [–]MinglinSingle 72 points73 points  (5 children)

    It could also be the rest of the relationship isn't as great as OP thinks from his perspective and she misses being courted/dated/wooed as a girlfriend. Either way there are some serious issues going on at her end, and potentially mental illness.

    [–]mutantwharf 48 points49 points  (5 children)

    I was just about to say that it sounds like she’s a bit insecure of her age and wants to feel younger. I can understand that for a woman, being called someones wife might make her feel older than she is.

    [–]MatherGrouse 204 points205 points  (6 children)

    At this point it sounds like her belt isn't going through all the loops. This may be the tip of the iceberg for some serious mental issues.

    [–]deepsea333 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Nice phrase, will borrow it.

    [–]indiandramaserial 50 points51 points  (1 child)

    She sounds like she's had a mental break. Get her professional help.

    Hold off on the kids and matching tats until she's healthy again. Good luck OP

    [–]fightmaxmaster40s Male 6075 points6076 points  (181 children)

    Later that evening, I asked her directly if she has a problem with our relationship or if I'm doing something wrong in our marriage. She assured me that everything is fine between us.

    Wrong question. "We're married, you know we're married, we had a wedding, here are the photographs, here's the marriage certificate. Why are you feigning ignorance? Why are you telling me to get a girlfriend card rather than a wife card? Why are you 'correcting' me when I call you my wife? It's not funny, it's strange, I think it's strange, our friends think it's strange. Please stop, it upsets me. You're not my girlfriend, you're my wife, I'm your husband, we're a married couple. Do you agree? If so, please stop saying otherwise. If not, we need to go to a couples counsellor or you need to see a therapist, because you're denying reality."

    [–]Elle4200 1227 points1228 points  (20 children)

    Exactly. OP, you’re not asking the right question to get to the bottom of this issue.

    [–]Round_Rock_Johnson 179 points180 points  (19 children)

    Honestly OP, this is fucking bizarre. Honesty is the most important part in a relationship, and the fact that she still has not addressed something that obviously concerns you is troubling.

    If you had children with this woman, would she claim 5 years later that you didn't...? Would mention of her childbirth bring her to tears? I have literally never heard anything like this, in any relationship or marriage, ever. To act as if nothing's wrong at this point is pretty much gas-lighting on her part.

    I would seriously consider your relationship & future with this person if she still can't tell you anything more than "nothing's wrong" the next time you confront her about denying your legal betrothal.

    [–]MandyPantsSailorMoon 66 points67 points  (18 children)

    My best friend has BiPolar Disorder. She doesn’t believe she has it. She refuses to admit/believe she was diagnosed with it twice. She refuses to take meds for it, because she believes nothing is wrong. There are serious lapses in her memory, judgement, and just all around has some odd behavior.

    I broke up with my fiance last year because he was an abuser. She knew that’s why I broke it off. And she obviously knew that no wedding would be happening, because I told her to send back her bridesmaid dress. A few months ago when she was at my house, I started throwing out pics of my ex-fiance. She looked at me weird and asked why I would throw out pics of the person I’m marrying. She legit did not believe me when I reminded her that I had dumped him months prior.

    On another occassion, she came over to my house crying. I asked what she was crying about. She said her and her husband’s doctor was sending them to a fertility specialist for testing to find out why they still haven’t been able to have a baby. I had to remind her that she had found out almost 5 years ago that her husband is completely infertile. He had like 2 sperm when there should have been millions. She denied that he was infertile, or that his sperm count was ever tested before. She wanted to know why I would say something like that. She legitimately did not believe me when I told her they’d already done all this testing like 5 years ago.

    A couple years ago my friend stopped going to work everyday. I asked why she wasn’t going to work. She said she still was going to work, and thought it was weird that I was asking her that. Turns out, she had been fired like 6 months prior because she was just not showing up everyday, and they had actually walked her out. She didn’t remember any of that happening, and thought she still had a job there. Her sister was the one who told me that she had been fired.

    I’m not sure OP’s wife is lying or trying to lie. Or trying to gaslight him. I think her brain may really be that messed up.

    [–]angelzpanik 25 points26 points  (10 children)

    That's very similar, but I think that's more than bipolar. I have bipolar and while I have massive gaps in my memory (mostly from childhood), I've always known when I was fired, my own wedding, etc.

    What I DO forget frequently, is details. I cld see them not remembering their husband's diagnosis completely, but chances are they'd remember the gist of it. Same with your breakup. If you don't talk frequently, it'd make sense then not remembering.

    Many times when something major happens, I forget the details surrounding it. Something that happened last week I may think happened months ago. If say, I went thru a major breakup and at the same time I heard someone was pregnant, I'll forget about the pregnancy bc all my spoons were in the breakup. Trauma wld be the same way, or similar.

    Op and your stories honestly sound like more than bipolar disorder.

    I'm not a doctor, it's all speculation and just going from my own experiences.

    [–]SharkInHumanSkin 600 points601 points  (7 children)

    I agree with taking a no nonsense approach but I'd replace some questions like "why are you feigning ignorance?" With some wording that is less loaded. If this is a mental break, acting angry an accusatory isn't going to get an answer.

    "We are married. Here is the proof. Why do you say we are not?" Would probably be more likely to get a discussion on whether this is a mental break or something else.

    [–]kronning 127 points128 points  (3 children)

    OP, definitely be gentle with this at first. If she is experiencing some kind of neurological issue, she will have a VERY difficult time confronting evidence that doesn't match the story her mind has created. Given that she left in tears when asking about decorations, I think a neurological issue is very possible (I am a neuroscientist, but not a medical doctor, so this is based on my theoretical knowledge). Often in cases of neurological disorders, the mind "knows" something is wrong, and will create narratives to explain discrepancies - confronting that your reality is flawed can be terrifying, especially when her mind might still have an underlying suspicion that something is "off". So, approach the topic gently, focus on simple facts, and do all you can to get her to a neurologist.

    [–]nzur1 48 points49 points  (1 child)

    id agree but I would stop at the third sentence, its too much

    [–]ahkaye 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, and what was the friends reaction to a tearful denial of the wedding too? Bet the friends have some questions.

    [–]similarityhedgehog 138 points139 points  (21 children)

    I'm not sure this is the best approach when someone seems to be having a serious psychological issue.

    [–]TeezilyComArSCAMMERS 396 points397 points  (11 children)

    Do not, I repeat DO NOT even think to have kids before this is resolved.

    [–]swerc137 228 points229 points  (10 children)

    “What kids?”

    [–]ReconsiderBaby 138 points139 points  (2 children)

    "Please call me your sister, I'm not your mom."

    [–]Supervium 276 points277 points  (13 children)

    I agree it's a red flag, but for what, I am unsure. I'd ask her outright why she keeps calling herself your girlfriend and going as far as to correct you in front of your friends, it's just very odd. Her answer matters the most because then you decide what to do. If it's vague and confusing or if she gets emotional for seemingly no reason, it might be her mental health.

    She might also miss the excitement of dating you? I know it sounds kinda dumb and if you guys have a good relationship I wouldn't see why, but everyone is different. Might also be an early midlife crisis and she's trying to go back to her "younger days" when you were just dating. In that case, I'd suggest light therapy. I hear your 30s are where life is usually the best, but of course society doesn't want you to know that.

    [–]JudyLyonz 98 points99 points  (5 children)

    First, if call the family doctor and tell him what you wrote here. Tell him about her crying when people kept asking her about the wedding and so on. If your doctor us any good they will want to see her.

    Your doctor will know what medical conditions she has, medications your wife is on, will have an idea of other potential causes, And order tests and/or refer you to a specialist.

    DO NOT TAKE HER STRAIGHT TO A THERAPIST RULE OUT PHYSICAL CAUSES FIRST.

    Even then, I wouldn't push the point that you two are married for the time bring. I wouldn't necessarily play into the "this is my girlfriend" thing but I would try to keep things neutral until you know what is happening.

    This is one of the most unusual posts I've ever seen. Let us know what happens.

    [–]SolidPoint 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    “My wife has done and said this, and I want to bring her to you to see if there might be a physiological reason. Can you help us?”

    Clear, concise and direct. Don’t set out bait and hope that your doctor is “any good.”

    [–]flatulentfeline 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    When is the last time she saw a general doctor? PCM? She should be checked neurological. Not being a smart ass but that’s weird.

    [–]dipshit_barbie 27 points28 points  (3 children)

    When I was a kid my aunt did something like this, she had a miscarriage and was afraid my uncle would leave her. Her pretending major events (like her wedding, my grandmother's funeral, etc) didn't happen was just the beginning. She had a full blown mental breakdown and spent a few weeks in a hospital. I didn't personally witness her behavior after the denial part but my mom said she hit some pretty serious lows trying to cope with everything.

    [–]TheTask2020 144 points145 points  (0 children)

    DON'T GET HER PREGNANT. This is clearly some kind of mental or physical issue that needs to be addressed immediately.

    When was her last physical?

    Think carefully about her behavior in general. Does anything else seem "off"?

    Note all of that and call her doctor. Let them know that you think something might be wrong.

    [–]nowaytostop 156 points157 points  (6 children)

    Your wife is having a psychotic break. She needs a doctor.

    [–]QualitySeycoTimepiec 65 points66 points  (4 children)

    The thing about psychotic breaks is that they aren't always as crazy as portrayed in the movies. I had a break a few years back where I was hearing an insidious banging sound. When my sister came over to my apartment she said she couldn't hear it even a little. I believed her and just said, "I'm crazy." I knew what I as hearing wasn't there but I still couldn't get it out of my head. Turns out I had some undiagnosed mental health issues that had been festering for over a decade.

    [–]mewkew 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Your wife needs prof. help. TRy to figure out when this all started, something happend then, that triggered this behaviour. If you dont act fast, you should know the road your wife is on right now, is a deadend.

    [–]girlno3belcher 46 points47 points  (5 children)

    “I asked her directly if she has a problem with our relationship or if I’m doing something wrong in our marriage.”

    None of that is, “Why are you pretending that we aren’t married?” Which is the question that needs to be asked.

    [–]eesseeffeemm 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    I am dying for an update.

    [–]TeezilyComArSCAMMERS 76 points77 points  (0 children)

    She needs professional help. Stop tooling around on reddit. We're not gonna be able to help you. Start taking this seriously.

    [–]NicholeCA 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    I do not want to jump to any conclusions, please see a Dr very very soon. A dear friend of mine had extremely similar symptoms to your wife which turned out to be Huntington's Disease. Its a terrible illness that I wouldn't wish on anyone, your wife is the right age for the onset and the symptoms you are describing are familiar to me. Please investigate Huntington's Disease and see a medical professional; my sweet friend (now deceased) had all of these psychological symptoms for about a year and a half before any of the physical symptoms of the disease began to plague her. I wish you and your wife well and I hope this is not the case.