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Washing girlfriends undies? by throwRA2076 in relationship_advice

[–]keebee121 4133 points4134 points  (0 children)

hey as a woman I gotta say!! this is super sweet. she’ll definitely appreciate the thought, I’m sure. but just ask first! it might be a little embarrassing for her knowing you went through and saw and did all that, but if she’s notified beforehand she may not feel all too bad as long as she’s aware you don’t mind whatever. being a girl has a lot of shitty downsides and it’s always cool knowing that our S/O’s don’t mind things like that.

Washing girlfriends undies? by throwRA2076 in relationship_advice

[–]Hadespuppy 1870 points1871 points  (0 children)

Definitely ask her first, but that's super sweet of you even to think about doing it. If she does give you the go ahead, here's a tip: cold water. Especially for period stains, hot water will set the stain and it'll never come out. But a good soak in cold water is often all you need. A splash of hydrogen peroxide can help for really stubborn stains as well, just make sure you rinse thoroughly. When you are done, don't wring delicates; it's hard on the fabric and defeats the purpose of hand washing. Instead, you can squeeze, then roll the items in a towel (you can skip this step, but it does get a fair bit of water out) before hanging or laying flat to dry. You're a good partner, she's lucky to have you.

My (47F) Daughter (19F) Secretly Drinks Around Me After Being Raped by thrownfarawayfrom in relationship_advice

[–]Ebbie45Verified Crisis Counselor 811 points812 points 2& 2 more (0 children)

Hi. I work in the domestic violence field and I do not normally share this here, but I hope you may benefit from it. My parents themselves could have written this and honestly, I had to double-check that this wasn't some post they'd written about my past. I feel shame even now writing this, because this is a part of my history that I still grapple with. There can be so, so much shame around using drugs & alcohol to cope with trauma. This, above all, is something to keep in mind. Honestly, I may delete this later, after you've seen it.

This was me when I was 19. Pretty much to a T. Same age. I was also raped during my first semester at college (though by an intimate partner, multiple times). I also found a trauma therapist and attended a support group. I also found an internship helping other survivors, which eventually led to my current career. I also would hide alcohol bottles in my drawers and room, and drink to cope with being raped. And I also dealt with the shame of knowing my parents could smell it on me.

I overdosed via drinking multiple times when I was 19, in the span of only a handful of months. I had to be taken to the ER every single time. When I was most at risk, I was in a headspace in which I was severely triggered from the abuse, and I was alone, at night, when my then-partner and family were not in the house or not in the dorm room. I say this not to scare you, but for you to be aware that specific settings and feelings, when combined with isolation, can be incredibly dangerous.

Based on all of the above, this is the advice I offer you.

  • Do not do take control away from her unless necessary for her safety. As much as it hurts to see your child harming herself, there are some things you can and shouldn't do. For example, you can hide any alcohol you have in the house. That is absolutely your choice and it's your house. What you shouldn't do moving forward is start looking through her belongings regularly in an attempt to find alcohol. I know how desperate you must feel, but if you do that, you are invading her privacy and that is a violation. It's not the same violation as rape, but invasions of her boundaries may be triggering in a reminiscent way. Be careful to balance safety with privacy.

  • It is okay for you to bring up the subject when you smell the alcohol. She may lie, just like she lied about the alcohol bottle. Don't get angry with her. Try to remain calm. She probably lies because she is ashamed. Being a teenager who has been raped and developed substance abuse issues as a result can be deeply, deeply humiliating for that person. Believe me, I know. Anger will only increase the shame. You can be firm, but be gentle. "I want to be honest with you; I can smell that you've been drinking alcohol. I am not going to shame or blame you for this, but I am concerned about you. I want to support you, but I don't want to support you harming yourself."

  • Ask her, directly, what she needs from you. Sometimes you just need to be asked. "How can I help you? What do you need from me?"

  • Remind her, whenever applicable, that the rape was not her fault, you believe her, and she doesn't deserve it. Take care not to push her to talk when she isn't ready. My parents would sometimes randomly ask me to talk about my rape out of nowhere, and I was never prepared. That made things worse.

  • Provide her with information about substance abuse support groups specifically for college students or teenagers. Be aware that attending a support group at her college may also be triggering. See if you can find off-campus locations.

  • Do not pressure her into seeking treatment. That will backfire. Do not make it mandatory. Do not use it as a bargaining tool or a transactional tool. Explain to her the benefits of treatment services, and encourage her to think about it. Many people picture substance abuse treatment as something like an asylum, when in reality there are many outpatient services available with flexible scheduling. Do not push her. Do not punish her if she isn't ready to access treatment. If she is ready, make sure you've done your research. Do the services you're looking into have a trauma-responsive lens? They should. Sometimes domestic & sexual violence agencies also provide substance abuse support groups for survivors.

  • If your daughter is ever drunk around you and you are concerned she may harm herself, please, call a mobile mental health crisis unit instead of the police. I cannot underscore enough how absolutely re-traumatizing it can be to interact with police unexpectedly as a survivor, especially in an incapacitated state.

  • Please, be aware that when someone is drinking alone to cope with trauma, there is potential risk for an alcohol overdose. Encourage her to spend time with you, her family, and her friends. But also make sure to balance that with enough alone time for her. If she is extra upset, angry, sad, withdrawn, and she wants to spend time alone, check in on her every once in awhile, just in case. Don't baby her or control her every move, and don't become obsessive about it, but be careful. This is also something to keep in mind if you choose to take a trip or vacation and she insists on staying behind.

  • Using words like "alcoholic" may turn her off. Be careful with your language. Be careful with labels. This is not all that she is. Denial is a common symptom of alcoholism. Instead of using that term, try "I am concerned about your drinking."

  • Ask her if she ever wants to debrief with you about her internship. Survivors of abuse working in the victim services field are at significantly greater risk for vicarious trauma than non-survivors. Vicarious trauma is a phenomenon by which exposure to others' trauma stories, cumulatively, can lead to a change in a person's worldview. Such that perhaps they take on a more cynical view of the world: Bad things will always happen to good people. Nothing I do matters. No effort I make, will make a difference. Encourage her to learn about vicarious trauma, share some tools with her, and learn about the warning signs yourself. Debriefing is an important part of reducing the risk for vicarious trauma; her supervisor should also be engaging in this too.

  • Remember that you cannot "save" her. She may need some help on the way, but she is the only person who can truly safe herself. But also remember that she is not helpless. She may be a teenager, but don't treat her like she's a toddler. Don't infantilize her.

  • Treat her as the expert of her trauma and her life. She is. She is an expert in how she chose to survive. But that doesn't mean experts don't sometimes need a little support.

I hope that helps.

My (F20) boyfriend (26M) of 1 year got angry and is giving me the silent treatment because I showed him where my clit was by throwra_awaay in relationship_advice

[–]Ebbie45Verified Crisis Counselor 1187 points1188 points 2 (0 children)

As always Cool for Cats, you're the real MVP. It's been awhile since I've seen you on here and I was glad to see your comment. Thanks for specifically pointing out the use of control and intimidation here. Many people are saying this is "a huge red flag," but a red flag is a warning sign and this is past warning signs and already into abuse.

Also, I an enormously concerned about the fact that he accused her of cheating and went through her phone, in addition to giving her the silent treatment. It is not uncommon for abusive partners to frequently make cheating accusations as a way to excuse their controlling behavior. In addition, while taking time away to have space from a partner and calm down is completely normal, that's different from using the silent treatment to punish someone for "humiliating" them.

These are all forms of emotional abuse, and unfortunately abuse sometimes escalates. There is no way of knowing whether this will turn physical, but I hope OP doesn't stick around to find out. One Love Foundation has a really great guide to the various forms of emotional abuse that may be helpful also.

The Relationship Spectrum might be a good tool for her to look at to see where her relationship lies on the spectrum of healthy to unhealthy to abusive.

I do really hope OP will consider safety planning regardless of whether she stays in this relationship or leaves. Go Ask Rose has an amazing and comprehensive safety plan guide with strategies for preparing to leave, 24 hours after leaving, while at work, and more.

Update: My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]liar_rabbit 7545 points7546 points 3& 2 more (0 children)

He said that, he thought if he told me everything, that I would stop seeing him as a “protecter and provider”, and that I would inevitably stop loving him. Hearing him say that brought tears to my eyes because I didn’t know where he got the notion I would feel that way.

Just know that this isn't because of anything you have said or done. This is what society tells us as boys growing up and reminds us of daily. There is a real pressure to try and be everything that you think you are supposed to be. Props to your husband for being open with you and props to you for being that person he can actually open up to.

Edit: Thanks for the awards.

My girlfriend [21F] of 18 months asked my [22M] preference about her pubic hair and now finds me "revolting" by ThrowRA_1900222 in relationship_advice

[–]WearingCoats 1546 points1547 points  (0 children)

Hi, I also studied psychology and in my analysis of her behavior, it seems like she went into this looking to create conflict with you. She anticipated your response given that it's fairly common knowledge that we have normalized and sexualized adult women being completely hairless, agree with it or not. There was a high likelihood of you responding with some degree of favor towards this.

Baiting behavior like this can be a function of feeling a loss of control in an interpersonal dynamic. When you can create conflict and engineer it in a way to gain moral superiority, you have gained the illusion of control over something. Or, this could be a red herring conflict in which something like this is used in place of discussing other conflicts as they may be too difficult to address head on. An extension of that being this could be a way for her to break up with you over something different that she has determined she won't share with you directly.

Either way, conflict in and of itself is not bad. In fact, it's essential for healthy relationships. But when someone manipulates another into conflict, especially over hypotheticals (this is a form of gaslighting) or in instances where there was no constructive purpose for it to happen, this is unhealthy.

Edit: typo

Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!!!

My little sister just told me that our parents said that they regret having her by throwRAsjdhund in relationship_advice

[–]AMarmaladeSandwich 325 points326 points  (0 children)

Doesn't sound all that dramatic to be honest. Parentification of a child is traumatising, I don't think any psychologist would disagree.

I (44M) want to read my daughter’s (17F) diary to find out why she left us. My wife (43F) says we should absolutely not by throwRA_needclosure in relationship_advice

[–]Gray-BushMorgan50s Male -681 points-680 points 22& 4 more (0 children)

Arr, tha tis a personal decision tha we readers ca't decide fer yin. Aye, you been tru hell, no parent oughta have this in ther mind. I feel fer ya, OP and I be the one ter say read it in a privvy fashion wher only ye know. Tuck ther diary back an keep yer info ter yerself. Tis my advice, i tis.

My (m25) friends with benefits (f24) wants us to be exclusive but I don’t trust her by thevic115 in relationship_advice

[–]darkangle14 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Post an update after you do and your doing the right thing do you want to be divorce the third time before your 30 end it Ross Geller.

My [47/F] younger coworker [18/M] has been flirting with me. It seems mostly harmless, but does this count as cheating on my husband [M50]? Am I crossing a line? by ThrowRA-birdbee in relationship_advice

[–]no_politics_here 31 points32 points  (0 children)

At this point, she is posting this because she knows that as soon as they are alone together they are reaching the point they will fuck and she is here hoping for some validation that it is ok so that she can continue rejecting personal responsibility.

It is pathetic if you ask me.

I disowned my son. Now I’m not sure if it was the right decision. by ThrowRA358 in relationship_advice

[–]HeelSteamboat 58 points59 points 2 (0 children)

So... - Middle Child of divorce; takes divorce harder than the other children - Impressionable age. Still in puberty - Dad comes out to the family (this could be even more traumatic than the divorce) - Kids can be very cruel in school - Gets told off by the rest of the other side of the family for thinking the way he does. Your other kids opinions of him change. Btw are your other children girls?

Sounds like this kid went through hell emotionally / psychologically and no one gave a fuck, they just told him to get on with it. Probably felt like he was surrounded.

Update: I (27F) think I’m falling in love with my brother in law (26M) by throwraBIL in relationship_advice

[–]NoirGarde 178 points179 points  (0 children)

Hey kiddo, I’m gonna give my opinion on what’s happening. I think most redditors here have the right of it, but after being in a similar situation as your husband, I think I get where he’s coming from, and why he responded the way he did.

Your husband seems to show a lot of symptoms of a person who doesn’t believe they’re good enough. He locks himself in his work all day because it’s a place where he feels valued and seen. As he simply doesn’t in your marriage, he constantly retreats into a place where he feels he has control of the situation, and where he feels he is necessary.

While doing this, the downward spiral of your marriage constantly reaffirms to him his worst fears: that he is not seen or respected or needed in your relationship. His mind wanders in a path that looks like ‘well, I’m not good enough, so she’ll go find someone who is. Am I okay with that?’ His first answer was probably no, but after a long time he shut down his emotions and convinced himself that if he were in this situation it would be ‘yes.’

Now that he finds himself in the situation, the happiness he claims to feel is a sense of being right. ‘Of course you would try and cheat on my brother,’ he says to himself ‘it’s the ultimate way to get the best parts of me without the bad parts.’ And seeing the Nest footage, you proved him right.

His other accusations follow a similar line of thinking. ‘Who are other people I consider better than me? She must have wanted to be with them too.’ So he told you them. Including on your wedding day.

And finally, he initiated sex with you to try and tell you that he understands what you’re doing and it fits in with his own twisted sense of ‘normalcy.’ If you consented, you would have agreed to this being the new normal in his head.

You need to sit down with yourself and have a serious conversation about this marriage. You cheated on your husband. No if and or buts. You did, even if it didn’t involve intercourse. Your husband believes that you are the type of person who would do something like this. How have you shown him that? Why does he believe you would be so conceited that he would need to involve a Nest Camera in his own house, that he is under the impression that his entire role in your marriage is as a supporting character to you, and why he wouldn’t even pretend to be surprised to find you cheating.

A marriage is a give and take. Your husband clearly has some mental issues revolving around his confidence anywhere but work and a desire to be ‘needed’ that you have neglected and ignored. You likely have a narcissism that you husband has bowed to, and refuse to address it in your marriage. Even in this post, every conversation you had between you two began and ended with your opinions on your actions. I’m sure even the way you phrased the question ‘how are you’ somehow revolves around you too.

Your husband needs to see a therapist. But he needs to see one because of his own self value, not because of your marriage, and not because of your actions. You need to clearly address with your therapist introspective reasons as to why your husband believes the things he does and the actions you did to prove him right.

Only then will you find this marriage is not one of love and teamwork, but a comfortable chaos you two are too reluctant to let go of.

Update: My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]BadStupidCrow 984 points985 points 53& 4 more (0 children)

I'm just hijacking this top comment because I want to tell OP that A) this is a lot more common than most people think, and B) both of you should really look into prioritizing your mental health. It is crucial to continue to work and focus on our mental health even - and maybe especially - when we're not struggling with it because that's when you have the mental and emotional clarity to ensure it stays that way. Just like people who stop taking their medication when they feel better leads to even greater episodes when they crash again, if you don't prioritize your mental health when you feel perfectly fine, you're setting yourself up for a crash where it becomes impossible to prioritize your mental health because it is already compromised.

That means setting up a plan ahead of time, figuring out what signs and symptoms are early indicators, figure out how to quickly destress, take frequent "no-work" weekends and draw a hard line between work and home life.

This is not just advice for people with other mental health conditions - this is for everyone.

We live in an extraordinarily stressful age. No matter what your opinions are, we live in a politically polarized, economically and mentally unpredictable and frightening age. Understand that. Respect that. Know that it's not your fault. And most of us are not even properly processing it. Culturally, men are conditioned to be stoic, to put their needs aside and protect and provide for their family, and to be "a rock".

This is not a super healthy way to live. Not even in times of peace. But especially not in times of sudden stress. COVID hit us so fast, and disrupted our lives so substantially, that we haven't had time to adjust our feelings and reactions to it. It was just here, overnight, and we're still trying to live our lives the way we used to, when that's ust not an option. It results in men stacking stress atop stress until the brain literally just collapses and results in your husband reacting the way he did.

Stress kills. I know this is a cliche and I know we all pretend to understand that, but we don't. It literally kills you. And before it kills you, it will transform you into a different person. People don't understand the true implications of that. But what you're describing about your husband can happen to any of us. Its just biochemistry. Stress will eat your mind until it takes your life. Take it seriously.

I know it isn't easy to do so. We do not live in a country that takes this seriously. Most of the Western, modernized world doesn't take this seriously. And so we are, as a people, unhealthy, and unhappy, and have an actually downward trending life expectancy.

So it may sometimes feel "weird" to prioritize your mental health. You may get a little pushback from an employer or friends. Ignore them. This is your life. This is your health. You need to put it first, above promotions, above work. Everything else in life comes after protecting your sanity and mental health, because without that, nothing else is possible.

This has been happening all across the US, at least, and the fact that he was so substantially improved by taking a vacation just demonstrates that you need to focus on substantial and meaningful rest and relaxation. You need to take it as often as possible, and to treat it not like a luxury, but as a medical necessity. Because it is. Often we ourselves are not even aware when our mental health is deteriorating, or why. But many times its because stress slowly eats away at us.

Make sure he understands this, and I would strongly recommend you both develop some kind of plan to help check in on each other, your stress levels, and to take sick days and vacation days when they are available and necessary.

America in particular had an unhealthy relationship with work before the pandemic - and now adding that on top of an unhealthy work-life balance has just exacerbated the problem.

I can tell you that I - and a lot of people I know - experienced very similar situations. I was feeling lost, overwhelmed, unable to do my job. I work from home now, which I thought would make working much easier - but instead it felt like I was never getting away from work. It was always there now, and we didn't even have children or the additional stressors you mentioned your husband having.

I can tell you that the day I told management I was taking vacation time, I literally felt like a different person. It was remarkable. Just the sheer weight off my mental load was astounding.

And like I mentioned, this is very, very common for so many people out there. If you are a man experiencing this it doesn't mean you're weak or bad or unworthy or any of the other absurd labels culture has taught you to put on yourself. It means you're a healthy person in very difficult times who needs the right tools to stay healthy. We wear masks and PPE in public to prevent getting infected. We need PPE for our minds to help us stay healthy through difficult times.

Especially for men - do not try and tough your way through this. It is not noble or admirable. Do not go it alone. The best possible thing you can do for your family is seek help and retain your mental health. You may not think your stress affects you but your family can tell. They know when you withdraw, they know when you're bottling up and not dealing with your stress. If you legitimately want to help your family, take care of yourself so that you can take care of them.

I know we're all ambitious, we're all worried about staying employed as layoffs pile up, but remember that you can't help yourself or your families when your mental health is not stable. Better to need to be looking for a job but mentally healthy, than working yourself into a state where your mental health collapses, which can lead to serious consequences.

I could't forgive my husband for our wedding and wedding night. And after two weeks our marrige ended. by ThrowRA_white_berry in relationship_advice

[–]GandalftheFright 9555 points9556 points  (0 children)

Honey, you might have hooked up with a sociopath. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that he’s had such a dramatic personality shift right after your wedding; he believes he has you now and doesn’t have to pretend anymore.

What else has he done to you in the past that has hurt you?

My mom is mad at me for refusing to have a pelvic exam from a male doctor by throwRAikook in relationship_advice

[–]Ebbie45Verified Crisis Counselor 1089 points1090 points  (0 children)

Based on what you've shared about your mom and how she has treated your sexual assault and your sexual orientation, I want to share some resources for you OP. I just want you to know that there is help available, you aren't alone in this, and you deserve to be treated with respect in any relationship you have, including relationships with family.

  • Here is a list of online sexual assault support groups for survivors since it's clear you're not receiving the support you deserve from her. These are safe, confidential spaces where you can seek validation and help from others who have gone through similar experiences. It's completely up to you whether you want to look into these groups.

  • I also notice you mention that you like girls and she's not supportive of that. The Trevor Project offers a helpline and resources for LGBTQ+ youth.

  • Pride Counseling offers professional online counseling for LGBTQ+ individuals with LGBTQ+ therapists. You would have to look into whether you would need parental consent for this, depending on any minor consent laws in your location. If you are considered a minor in your location, then I don't believe this would be available for you until you turn 18.

  • Teen Line is a good resource for teens. A cool thing about this organization is that their helpline is run by teens themselves who are trained in helping with various issues such as mental health, addiction, suicide, abuse, etc. They have a message board where you can seek advice about various topics, including abuse.

  • Scarleteen is a similar organization for teens, but they focus on healthy sexuality and comprehensive sex education. They also help teens who've been sexually assaulted and raped; you can view their sexual violence resources here. If you're in the US, you can also use their online chat service for help with pretty much anything related to sexual abuse or sexuality - they will answer your questions and provide validation and encouragement.

  • GirlsHealth.Gov also has many resources for female teens, including on relationships and sexual abuse.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]maninmirr0r 3941 points3942 points 3 (0 children)

Sounds very familiar. I am 50M, and I’ve been where he is. I was not interested in hearing that I might have depression either. Didn’t sound right, I didn’t think that was what depression feels like.

Doing some research at the time I found some stuff that got more open to getting help. The first is that it’s not giving in, it’s not about being weak. It’s just a problem that he needs help fixing. Fixing it is not a bad thing, leaving it broken is a bad thing. My second thought for you is that often, men have a hard time talking about feelings because we don’t know what they are, how to describe them, how to recognize them. Ask him if he’s depressed, he says no, because he doesn’t know if that feeling is depression, boredom, work stress, a memory of song he hates, he has no idea. It’s a cliche, but here’s the new part. We can recognize symptoms. Ask him about any strange symptoms he has. Can’t sleep? Forgets stuff? Decides not to do things that seem like stuff he would enjoy? Naps? Naps where he can’t fall asleep? Late/early bedtime? Missed work? Lack of interest in sex? Boner trouble? Tummy issues? Get him talking about his symptoms, and you might recognize that some of them are emotions or feelings. Gently point that out when it happens. And look for symptoms of depression. Not feelings. Third thing I learned. It’s common for men to resist a diagnosis of depression. All that stuff we grew up with gets in the way. What I had was adaption disorder with depressed mood. That’s when you can’t adapt to something, it stresses you out, and you get symptoms like depression. You can treat it with meds, even if you can’t identify or fix the problem. For me it took some pretty massive life change. Still on meds though, because the stress just doesn’t end in 2020.

Update: My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]trenlow12 451 points452 points 2 (0 children)

That'd be funny if she called him in sick to work tomorrow and then came in to the bedroom to make sure he was comfortably sleeping and found an actual metal panel on the back of his head full of wires and circuitry.

Edit: only saying this because she said that was her intent.

I [31F] am growing annoyed with my boyfriend’s [33M] constant need to “relax.” by wrenchit997 in relationship_advice

[–]bgmat58 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I normally read on reddit rather than throw my .02 cents around but I can’t help but stand up for this guy. While things don’t appear to be 100% equal he certainly isn’t a complete bum. Him doing all the cooking is pretty major in my eyes. And you both equally take care of your “child”. It seems he does all this without you having to hassle or nag to get it done which tells me he accepts this as his responsibility!

I know OP was not asking about children and whether or not he would be a good father but it blows my mind how many people were quick to judge and with such little information draw the conclusion that this man would fail at being a Father.

One of the many wonderful things about becoming a parent is it forces you to reflect on yourself which in turn makes you WANT to become a better person and do the right thing more often than not. I was in no way ready for children and I was blessed with twins. They have made me better in every aspect of my life. Don’t be so quick to judge people...

It sounds to me like you just need to express all of this to him. Give him the opportunity to be better and make you happy. If he fails to do so then things become clearer on your end how to proceed.

Also, have you ever suggested cooking WITH him? I know my wife loves when I pop in the kitchen with her unexpectedly and just be a part of making dinner. Or finding new recipes you both want to try and doing the entire process together, including shopping and cleaning up?

I hope something here helps you both. Best of luck!

My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]Swistiannt 1721 points1722 points 2& 2 more (0 children)

Can confirm. I often won't bother those that I love, and if I do I immediately regret it. A simple hug is better than a "What's wrong?" Because I often don't know what's wrong.

Think of it as a thick blanket. It's a familiar blanket. You like this blanket, you feel safe under the blanket. But the blanket is bland, and it is lonely. You feel nothing, and when you do it's often negative. The blanket weighs down on your emotions, it causes you to want only one thing: sleep. Sleep forever. Outside of the blanket, there's so many fun things. People you love, things you used to love to do, foods you loved to eat. But getting to those things is really hard, because the blanket is really heavy. It won't let you out unless you try really hard, but that's one of the hardest things, since when you're under the blanket, you have no interest in doing anything. A hug can help lift the blanket for a moment, and help you get out. While this is only temporary, if someone puts enough effort in to hug you every day for a few moments, slowly the thick blanket becomes lighter and lighter. One day, you may crawl out under it, and get back to the colourful world you once knew.

I [31F] am growing annoyed with my boyfriend’s [33M] constant need to “relax.” by wrenchit997 in relationship_advice

[–]throWAWay1433433 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Stop judging people after hearing tje story from one side. You can't tell someone or put ideas in someone's head saying he won't be a great dad because he says he wants to relax. I know ppl don't realize what they say on the internet but this kinda destructive suggestions can infest someone's brain with negativity and ruin relationships.