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I'm so random starterpack by RazGrox in starterpacks

[–]garfieldkittycat 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Sandy and SpongeBob started climbing up Mt. Areolus. It was a tall, tall mountain, and the path was difficult. The road they walked across was narrow, and the two had to keep a tight grip on a small ledge in order to stay on the mountain. After a while, things only got worse. While the road they walked on got ever so slightly wider, the ledge they had to grasp disappeared. SpongeBob and Sandy held hands, but even that couldn't save the porous prism. He fell, only for a sharp crystal to tug on one of the holes in his body.

"SpongeBob!" yelled Sandy. "Are you alright?"

"I think I'll be fine!" SpongeBob shouted in reply. SpongeBob, although usually not so bright. Suddenly had an idea. He situated both his feet on the crystal he was caught on.

"Sandy, grab my penis!" SpongeBob yelled.

SpongeBob would use his hands, but his penis was much longer. Sandy grabbed the end of his dick, and pulled him back up. By the end, a little bit of jizz came out of his spongey cock.

Many meters above, a monster smelled the sponge's semen. It let out its wings and sped downwards. The monster had a phallic head with many sharp teeth. Its body had many spurs, and it had large wings. It was fairly hairy at the end of its long neck, and it had six legs and a long tail. It was what the people of Titgigantias feared.

SpongeBob and Sandy were well up the mountain.

"Ya' see SpongeBob, maybe if we get the monster in its sleep, we can defeat it and steal the golden dildo!" Sandy explained to SpongeBob. Not much longer though, the duo was met with a loud thud. The penis-eating monster laid before them.

The monster let out a roar, right before it tried snapping at SpongeBob's penis. Quickly, SpongeBob pulled his pants back up, and started running.

The path widened, and Sandy and SpongeBob and Sandy were not too far from the cave at the top. The two however, didn't have the stamina they needed, as they started to slow down.

"Do you think we can make it Sandy?" SpongeBob questioned.

"I ain't so sure SpongeBob, but if we speed up, we might be able to find the Golden Dildo," Sandy replied, with a hint of worry in their voice.

SpongeBob and Sandy were almost at the top, only for a shot of fire to create a wall right in front of them. SpongeBob and Sandy stepped backwards, as the penis eating monster laughed.

"I have you right where I want you now!" the Monster screamed. It spoke with a cockney accent.

"We'll never hand you over our penises!" Sandy shrieked as she confidently glared at the beast.

Suddenly, SpongeBob had an idea.

"Sandy, whip out your penis!"

"Why, don't ya' see the penis eating monster right in front of us?"

"Don't you get it, if we cum over the fire, we might be able to put out the fire, and make it to the cave! While it tries to find us, we can think of a plan to defeat it!"

Sandy thought SpongeBob was crazy, but truly, there was not very many other choices. She and SpongeBob started jizzing all over the fire, until there was nothing left, and the pleasurable feeling it gave them let them have enough energy to outrun the monster and hide in the cave. They found a little hole to hide in so they could discuss their methods of putting the penis eating monster to rest.

"I think that its skin didn't seem too wide. If we can carve a sharp enough blade, maybe we can slice its neck and kill the monster." Sandy whispered.

SpongeBob liked the idea, but was worried about where they could find something to make into a blade.

Sandy, however, was a step ahead. She snapped a crystal off the wall and used her powerful squirrel teeth to cut it into a sharp blade.

She was right on time as the monster came back into the cave.

"I know where you are, and you can't hide from me!" the monster yelled.

The monster quickly found SpongeBob and Sandy, and tried snapping its monstrous teeth at their penises, but with its neck so low, Sandy climbed on top, and chopped its head off. The monster fell. Titgigantias was saved.

"Well, that takes care of one problem, but where's the golden dildo?" inquired SpongeBob.

Sandy thought for a moment. She tried checking inside the monster's throat, to see if it ate it, but it wasn't there.

Sandy thought about where she'd keep an all-powerful utensil that could revive anything, and finally came up with a shocking revelation.

"SpongeBob! Look inside the monster's ass! Maybe the Golden Dildo will be there!" Sandy yelled.

SpongeBob ran to the rear end of the monster, and surely enough was able to pull out the Golden Dildo. The wonderful artificial penis shimmered in the sunlight.

"This is great!" SpongeBob exclaimed with glee. "Now we can go back and save Squidward!"

"But… what about me?" Sandy asked.

"What do you mean?" SpongeBob said.

"I thought we had something special! We came to Titgigantias forming this wonderful bond, and this is what you do to me?" Sandy cried, with tears running down her cheeks.

"Well, we came here for the Golden Dildo in the first place! I'm sorry, but this… is my destiny."

Sandy begged for SpongeBob to return, but he continued his walk to the rocket. He went inside, keeping Sandy on Titgigantias, leaving Sandy behind.

"Rocket, take us home!" SpongeBob confidently said.

The rocket blasted away, leaving Sandy in the dust, as SpongeBob looked behind at Titgigantias. He felt bad for leaving Sandy on the place, but he felt that having a good, long life with Squidward was going to be his true fate.

As the rocket sped through space, SpongeBob masturbated as he thought about the future before him, with all the years left to cum.

I'm so random starterpack by RazGrox in starterpacks

[–]CorporalEllenbogen 1619 points1620 points  (0 children)

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _ im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

Getting awards on Reddit starter pack by Hulton-Sama in starterpacks

[–]Magical-Whale2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t wait until a week from now when I get my ads back. Stupid person HAD to spend money on gold. They couldn’t just give me a vanity award like a normal person.

Getting awards on Reddit starter pack by Hulton-Sama in starterpacks

[–]Magical-Whale2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You forgot one: the random rich guy who gives vanity awards to every comment, because they don’t wanna spend money on actual awards

2000s Library Books Starter Pack by gymothee in starterpacks

[–]RotaryDiesel 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Bruh, my name is Brian and we also read Brian’s Winter, which if you don’t know is the sequel.

So when we were reading that shit in class, this bitch named, lets say Klappy McKlapBitch, kept saying “look! It’s your last Win-tar. And said it all retarded like that. I loved Hatchet, but hated the sequel, solely for that reason.

So if you’re reading this Klap,

You’re a fucking cunt.

"Trying to find a job in high school" starter pack by leavingin6minutes in starterpacks

[–]CornTransplant 1452 points1453 points  (0 children)

I washed dishes in a restaurant. Every time they'd ask me to go get ice I stole so many fucking pickles out of the jug in the basement.

Definitely ate at least 2000 pickles from that place.

"How to win the hearts of male reddit users" Starter Pack by [deleted] in starterpacks

[–]thepinkfluffy1211 1096 points1097 points  (0 children)

Excuse me sir or ma'am

but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"

Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet."

And here you are!

I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other.

I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat).

Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess!

EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha

EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah

EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said?

EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge

EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore

EDIT 6: hey are you there?

Pineapple On Pizza Starter Pack by thisishardcore_ in starterpacks

[–]OcdBartender 220 points221 points  (0 children)

Bacon and pineapple (especially crushed pineapple) is delicious on pizza, why so many haters

I'm a girl on Reddit starterpack by registered__ in starterpacks

[–]plentyofsilverfish 95 points96 points  (0 children)

As a girls on Reddit I resent my lack of 'girl on Reddit' related awards.

Annoying Redditor Starter Pack by WaddlesJP13Mods are humans too in starterpacks

[–]xz1224 367 points368 points  (0 children)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about Ohio, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Ohio Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Mishitigan, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Ohio National Guard. You are nothing to me but just another hoosier. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in America, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Ohio over the Internet? Think again, Michigander. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Ohio and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your state. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with a buckeye. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Ohio Rifle and Pistol Association and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little hillbilly. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury the size of Lake Erie all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.