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LPT Request: What do you say in an email when someone answers only one of your questions, you respond based on that information, and then they give you the answer to the other question as if you never asked it and it was obvious information? How do you keep it professional? by rainbridge in LifeProTips

[–]Skuhlens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As writer judge your writing by the outcome...did the reader get it? If they didnt then the writing wasnt clear.

Apparently my prior statement was not sufficient to explain this principle so I try again and this improves my chance of getting my message across as well as my writing. And it improves my thinking as the feedback illustrates that therw is muddiness. Blaming the recipient results in no communication improvement. Even if something is clear to you, that doesnt mean it is clear to them.

The writer is the supplicant. The writer has the need to communicate something. The reader has minimal motivation to grasp it and can be distracted in a nanosecond. Hence the responsibility falls on the writer for doing the best they can.

In addition, to assume the reader has your email's full attention when the average worker gets 127 emails in a day [r/todayIlearned] is fraught with peril. In reality the reader might be coping with a family crisis, just have gotten 2 more urgent emails and a phone call or have a reading or attention disability. Reading is hard. Dont take it personally if it fails. But do learn as a writer.

LPT assume everyone else is doing something more important to them than reading your writing...and write your best to redirect their attention...unless you are procrastinating in Reddit and just replying to a random stranger...but if the stranger doesnt read what you wrote, that is your fault, not his.

LPT: How to disable your 'online' status on Reddit by m0na_lisa_overdrive in LifeProTips

[–]Rothen89 2910 points2911 points 95106 (0 children)

On the iOS app tap your avatar then tap your online status and it will hide it.

LPT: How to disable your 'online' status on Reddit by m0na_lisa_overdrive in LifeProTips

[–]Malkevin 7766 points7767 points 2332& 3 more (0 children)

You know what's another dumb feature of reddit?

Followers, with no ability to see/block them.

Edit: Well... this comment got a lot more attention than I expected

Edit Edit: And the funny thing is, of the 100+ gits that followed me after this post, I don't have a single one of these magic 'new follower' notifications.

LPT: If someone asks you an easily Googleable question, it's possible they just want to talk to someone about it. by DanielHillSKW in LifeProTips

[–]Shittingmytrewes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You literally made me text my dad. My niece (age 7) made, for fun, a slideshow about a video game we play together. We live hours apart. My dad is an electrical engineer/computer programmer and he’s a little less involved in the kids’ lives. But I had to show him his legacy to say “I miss you, how you doing”

Thanks!

LPT: Don't say "sorry IF I hurt you", say "sorry THAT I hurt you" when apologizing. Even if you didn't mean to hurt anyone, saying "if" diminishes their feelings. by captainsquidsharkk in LifeProTips

[–]dogibacsi 520 points521 points 222& 4 more (0 children)

Actually, neither are very good phrases. In nonviolent communication (NVC) you communicate by separating observations, feelings, needs and requests.

So if you're a practitioner of NVC, you can't make assumptions about others. A full, emotional conversation would be like this:

A: I see that your body language is different somehow (observation). I am curious as to why (feeling), because it is important to me that I know you're okay (need). Will you tell me what's on your mind? (request).

B: When you said that I shouldn't wear these types of clothes (observation), I felt ridiculed (feeling). I am insecure about my body and I need validation to feel good, otherwise my self-hate turns on. (need) Can you please not say this again? (request).

A: Absolutely, I'm sorry I said that.

This is a very academic example per se because this requires incredible self-awareness from both parties to work. More often than not, especially in relationships we play games but if we want to grow we need to be able communicate respectfully and in a non-violent way.

It's not your job to judge if someone is sensitive, or if they are overreacting. If I say something to my girlfriend and she misinterprets my words which in turns end up hurting her, I can't take responsibility for the feeling of hurt because I didn't do it. But I can take responsibility to say all those words. And because I value the relationship, now I understand that if I say X in a specific way, then she will feel hurt. Now I can decide if I can say things differently or if what I said was really necessary thing to say. But this takes two people. It needs both of you to keep working on saying/doing less things that you know will have a negative impact on the other while making sure you make crystal clear requests on what you want the other to do / not do.

Edit: formatting

LPT: I learned as a father in the early years, admit to your children when you are wrong or did something wrong. They will definitely respect you for being honest and will be honest with you. (mostly) Mileage can vary! lol by Zrnie in LifeProTips

[–]chellejohn 3226 points3227 points 3 (0 children)

I always apologize to my kids if I've done something wrong. I can't expect them to do so if I don't do it myself. I always promised myself I'd never be a hypocrite when it comes to my children.

LPT: If you get a career in something like hairdressing or aesthetics, absolutely do NOT set any precedent with friends or family that you will do services for them for free, not even once. by pixydgirl in LifeProTips

[–]joe-seppy 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Agree 100%. Instead, to "honor" the family thing (if you feel the need) establish something like a 10% or 25% "family discount" if you want their business, or a 25% upcharge if you don't!

LPT: if you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”. by fifa_god_786 in LifeProTips

[–]redgumdrop 5315 points5316 points 4 (0 children)

Or end it like a normal person not wuss.

Edit: thank you all for awards.

As many of you pointed, you don't have to end call rudely but this way you won't immediately get called back. And trust me, I have bro with this issue and if I just ended call like this he would just call me back in a few seconds so I know the pain.

LPT: When ending things with someone you went on a few pleasant dates with, NEVER ghost them. Send them a polite & honest message or call them to explain why things didn't work out. You will show that you are respecting that person's time & feelings without leaving them wondering what happened. by brandonmcgritle in LifeProTips

[–]Za50 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Three important rules for breaking up Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to prolonging the situation only makes it worse tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Don't make a big production. Don't make up an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene. If you want to date other people say so. Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected. Even if you've gone together for only a short time and haven't been too serious there's still a feeling of rejection When someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company, but if you're honest, and direct and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news the boy will respect you for your frankness and honestly he'll appreciate the kind and straightforward manner in which you told him your decision. Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends.

LPT: Many problems in marriage are really just problems with being a bad roommate. Learn how to be a good roommate, and it will solve many of the main issues that plague marriages. This includes communicating about something bothering you before you get too angry to communicate properly. by RepairmanJacked in LifeProTips

[–]Sijora 2211 points2212 points 223 (0 children)

I was raised with chores not being a punishment or a thing you do for a reward. They are just a thing you do. No excuses. As a mature human child or adult you take care of yourself and the area at which you live. No excuses. It made things that were tedious or annoying just be a thing to check off the list every week. And made some of the actions almost enjoyable or meditative. Everyday after work I come home and do the dishes. Just as a reflex. It gives me time to switch into home mode and the running water and white noise just lets me wash the day off me physically and mentally. And then if I have anything I need to discuss with my partner it’s given me ample time to collect my thoughts and process any emotions that come with them so I don’t over load my partner in case their day was stressful.

Edit: thank you for all the awards. This is my first time receiving them so I don’t know what to say. But thank you to all who commented I wish everyone a happy holidays!

Edit 2: some people mentioned how do you get kids to learn to do chores or clean up after themselves without punishment or reward. And the answer is depends... haha. Some kids will understand and process things through a positive reinforcement and some will through a negative reinforcement. If you can help it it’s better just to develop a routine habit so it’s not something they have to actively think about doing or not. And you can start by example. If you’re showing them how to take care of your home and you actively invite them to help and join in. Most people will naturally want to help/ be included. Especially kids, if you make it fun. And with kids you can disguise almost anything into a game.

I also find it very helpful to explain why. Most people even kids run off some form of logic. And if you can rationalize why some action is valuable or beneficial to them and can show the results of that action. It makes it much easier to reinforce that type of behavior.