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[–]Doom_DoucheI'm D🟣ing My Part - 🩳Я 🖕[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (227 children)


We are all rooting for you although I would have personally gone with an english cucumber. Bold move. If we do end up hitting your price target please post the aftermath on your profile page, not the sub.

[–]Choice-Insurance1395💻 ComputerShared 🦍 5628 points5629 points 2 (272 children)

I'm starting to think everyone is just looking for excuses to shove things up their bum. .

[–]sunofnothing_🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 1624 points1625 points  (92 children)

they're going to do it anyway. i think is more looking for excuses to be voyeuristic 🙂

[–]PatmygroinB💻 ComputerShared 🦍 1670 points1671 points  (71 children)

I’m with it.

Welcome to OnlyApes

[–]TotallyNormalSquid🦍 Attempt Vote 💯 651 points652 points  (60 children)

What if Ryan Cohen is waiting for 76,000,000 unique vids of apes shoving stuff up their asses to attach to the NFTs?

[–]Fast_Sandwich6034🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 363 points364 points  (32 children)

Does he want 76,000,000 vids? Or vids of 76,000,000 objects shoved? Cause one ass can be used for multiple objects and we can really get this moving. Lmk so I can start working

[–]tendiesholder🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 223 points224 points  (11 children)

This thread feels like the scene in Silicon Valley when they mathematically figure out how to jerk off everyone in the audience.

[–]strooticus🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 57 points58 points  (3 children)

The measurement that we're looking for, really, is dick to floor. Call that D2F.

[–]Faster-than-800🦍 Look Kids Big Ben 🚀 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Ratio. DTF ratio, because you don't want a tall guy and a short it would mess up your stroke.

[–]schokoschlotzeHere for the dildos. 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have upvotet this whole conversation.

[–]PatmygroinB💻 ComputerShared 🦍 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I’m with that, too

[–]TotallyNormalSquid🦍 Attempt Vote 💯 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Omg what if each ape shoves 7 items in for 1 video each?

[–]Fast_Sandwich6034🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 19 points20 points  (0 children)

7? Those are rookie numbers. We gotta bring those up

[–]I_utilize_Caps_Lock🖍Actual Crayon Eater🖍 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I’m ready to do my part

[–]HedonismandTeaSilverback 118 points119 points  (6 children)

Exhibitionism. We would be the voyeurs. But I'm good with whatever, obviously.

[–]sunofnothing_🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 34 points35 points  (1 child)

ah, a wrinkle ape i see. 👍

[–]SagittariusUnicorn🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 187 points188 points  (38 children)

Make sure whatever it is has a flanged end wider than the insertable part or you risk sucking it up and requiring an ER visit to get it extracted

[–]PapaChonson 102 points103 points  (20 children)

Ask me how I know this is true…

[–]swanks12Straya Kunt🇭🇲🦧 46 points47 points  (15 children)

How do you know this is true? 🦧

[–]here_4_the_lolsbut not amused anymore 🤬 58 points59 points  (13 children)

He slipped and fell on one.

[–]Fuckoakwood🦍Voted✅ 55 points56 points  (10 children)

One in a million shot doc

[–]CompleteAndTotalTard💻 ComputerShared 🦍 18 points19 points  (1 child)

…so you’re telling me there’s a chance.

[–]PapaChonson 29 points30 points  (0 children)

One slipped and fell into me actually

[–]empostrophe🦍Voted✅ 37 points38 points  (1 child)

“Without a base, without a trace” JJGO

[–]Fenrir324🦍 Heart of Ape, Soul of Kitten 🐈 41 points42 points  (7 children)

Lessons learned from a friend?

[–]Mikeymikers0nDoing Retarded Stuff 43 points44 points  (4 children)

Definitely “from a friend”

[–]mark-fiveNo cell no sell 📈 22 points23 points  (3 children)


[–]Kostelnik🚀🚀 JACKED to the TITS 🚀🚀 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Just a bunch of karma farming at this point.

[–]WalrusDense6748 94 points95 points  (22 children)

i dont know, she never mentioned her bum... maybe shes talk about her nose or ear

[–][deleted] 159 points160 points  (7 children)

I figured she was going to extract the seeds, start a guerilla gardening cooperative, plant cucumbers all throughout Washington D.C, and everyone would have free cucumbers to use as they see fit

[–]justin514hhhgft🦍Voted✅ 27 points28 points  (5 children)

She said going down. Butt would be going up. Just saying; nuances are important!

[–]No-Aardvark5024🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Or mouth

[–]iwillfightyou 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yuck dude, that is not how these are used.

[–]Destaran🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Imagine porn sites having an apes category about apes shoving up stuff in their bum. Finally sec and retail would collide.

[–]Choice-Insurance1395💻 ComputerShared 🦍 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Halfway through every video everyone involved looks straight at the camera and says "hey SEC, do your job" and goes back like nothing happened..

[–]Holybolognabatman🦍 Voted ✅ Dr. Zaius 35 points36 points  (11 children)

And show their face 🤔

[–]m3gabotz💻 ComputerShared 🦍 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would appreciate the extra effort but she is a female.

More options…

[–]ljgillzl🌋Holdno Baggins💎🚀 14 points15 points  (2 children)

To be fair, she did not state where she would put it ….

[–]kalaxitive🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 20 points21 points  (0 children)

applies lube to cactus

[–]Squiirtle💻 ComputerShared 🦍 1329 points1330 points  (35 children)

Something tells me that’s happening whether or not we hit $200.

[–]Bob-Chaos🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 490 points491 points  (14 children)

Probably, but we only get a video if it hits 200

[–]pcakes13 199 points200 points  (13 children)

IDK. She has other posts with photos of things in her ass for free, why not this?

[–]DontGiveBearsLSD 335 points336 points  (5 children)


clicks profile

[–]ThePwnter💻 ComputerShared 🦍 87 points88 points  (0 children)

LOL. I just got done clicking profile, and was thinking, okay, this makes sense.

[–]ChubbyTiddies💻 ComputerShared 🦍 100 points101 points  (11 children)

Is it the nose ring?

[–]bikeracer16 200 points201 points  (6 children)

It's the post history

[–]PooPooDooDoo💻 ComputerShared 🦍 98 points99 points  (2 children)

Brb, I gotta go do some DD

[–]GRlM-Reefer🦀🦀🦀 FAIR MARKET IS GONE 🦀🦀🦀 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Destroy Dick?

[–]ChubbyTiddies💻 ComputerShared 🦍 24 points25 points  (0 children)


[–]BigYonsan🦍Voted✅ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Got a Reddit wrinkle ape over here.

[–]FrankRizzo65 38 points39 points  (3 children)

The nose ring says fisting is my first base. -Tom Segura

[–]donnyisabitchface🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep she is definitely going to slice that and put it in the salad 🥗

[–]Psychological-Box975💻 ComputerShared 🦍 769 points770 points  (12 children)


[–]TheThinkerist🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment

[–]Dr_SlapMDLET'S JUMP KENNY 869 points870 points  (26 children)

Inbox lookin like a RRP chart.

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 536 points537 points  (19 children)

You're not wrong lol

[–]New-Consideration420💻 ComputerShared 🦍 122 points123 points  (9 children)

Well apes just like to see tits, I mean we are primates

Edit: Yes she does lol

[–]ThirdAltAccounts🇫🇷 MO’ Ass Mo’ Money…🚀 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the edit 👍🏼

[–]CoolHandLuke4Twanky💻 ComputerShared 🦍 45 points46 points  (0 children)

ATH ripping

[–]VicedDistraction🦍Ape🦍become change before the dust🌎🚀 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If op is taking notes from nftcon and this ends up as just an elaborate ad for her only fans, well I’ll just have to say well played..

Also rip inbox

[–]phearlessone🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Do not short the inbox Ken

[–]Rupert__Pupkin🦍Voted✅ 397 points398 points  (16 children)

Woah, you’re going to eat that whole thing in one sitting?

[–]verifiedkyle 123 points124 points  (6 children)

They’re mostly just water. Glad to see some proper hydration here for once.

[–]TheCreamofhell🦍Voted✅ 53 points54 points  (0 children)


[–]PooPooDooDoo💻 ComputerShared 🦍 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure water doesn’t require lube.

[–]Hosnovan 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Yo, they are fuckin' healthy! Time to buy a share on CS in support.

[–]Thx4Coming2MyTedTalk🦍🦍Gorilla Warfare🦍🦍🦍 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If she sat down and ate a lovely side salad…fucking legend lol

[–]ArtofWar2020 622 points623 points  (52 children)

As long as you’re not 14

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 552 points553 points  (43 children)

Lol I'm 26

[–]MisterProfGuy🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 748 points749 points  (21 children)

That sounds like something someone who is 14 would say.

[–]Lord_Blackbeard🍤 random flair 🪚 203 points204 points  (16 children)

Check her username 👮‍♀️

[–]Klogginthedangerzone🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 353 points354 points  (15 children)

That's exactly the username someone who is 14 would have.

[–]Lord_Blackbeard🍤 random flair 🪚 100 points101 points  (13 children)

Just trust her bro 🤷‍♂️

[–]eastsidazcan't stop, wont stop, gamecock 🍦🐸 🦍 Voted ✅ 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Name of your sextape? 🤣

[–]Klogginthedangerzone🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 89 points90 points  (7 children)

You want to meet Chris Hanson? Because that's how you meet Chris Hanson.

[–]Interesting-Bee7454💻 ComputerShared 🦍 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I mean, you’re free to leave....

[–]Klogginthedangerzone🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 30 points31 points  (1 child)

proceeds to sit down

[–]itrustyouguys🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Do I have a choice?

[–]Lord_Blackbeard🍤 random flair 🪚 9 points10 points  (2 children)

The cucumber will tell us if she is 14 or not 🤷‍♂️

Edit: or is it a zucchini?

[–]NinjaCuntPunt🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 5 points6 points  (1 child)

14 what? … inches dilated?

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Nope! Haven't been 14 since Big Time Rush premiered

[–]rumbo211 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Need clarification OP; is it going down or up?

[–]PathansOGDiamantpatter 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Userprofile checks out. Good luck OP

[–]Mopardednaked shorts yeah... 😯 🦍 Voted ✅ 33 points34 points  (13 children)

B… but… you’re not a dude…

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 52 points53 points  (11 children)

I mean, yeah, last I checked

[–]Jaystax204 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nothing motivates an ape like the prospect of a thorough pickling.

[–]dantezergtRoyal with GME🍔🤤 15 points16 points  (2 children)


[–]cnew364 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Doesn’t seem the inches are the problem... the girth is what I worry about for her 😂

[–]MentlegenRich🚨FBI Guy🚨 974 points975 points  (23 children)

The Trojan War was fought over a single woman named Helen.

Today, GME will pass $200 cause apes will buy the fuck out of the stock just to see a video of a girl shoving something up her ass.

Evolution takes hundreds of thousands of generations before a real change in behavior can be seen in long-living species.

[–]MattinMaui🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 204 points205 points  (6 children)

I genuinely thought your comment was going to be one of those random facts followed by a call to the DRS your shares.

[–]MentlegenRich🚨FBI Guy🚨 208 points209 points  (5 children)

Enamel is the hardest substance the human body produces. It covers the crowns of your teeth. Shares owned in your name via DRS are also the strongest asset you could own, as it's in your name and is already completely paid for with infinite appreciation in value.

[–]MattinMaui🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 49 points50 points  (4 children)

My man.

[–]doctorplasmatron💻 ComputerShared 🦍 21 points22 points  (3 children)

but where are the pigeon facts?!?!?

[–]Cheetah_Hungrymongo bongo 🦍 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Pigeons needs both a left wing and a right wing to fly. Also DRS your shares.

[–]bigfatg11🇪🇸 Españape 🇪🇸 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Birds aren't real.

DRS bitch.

[–]DorenAlexander🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 46 points47 points  (0 children)

This is the closest I would ever get to paying for porn.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

I think even Ken Griffin is like eh fuck it lets go to $200 so I can see some ass play before my ass is played with

[–]MentlegenRich🚨FBI Guy🚨 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"Yo, if this goes under $0.50, I'll put this bedpost up my bum"

[–]mongtard1🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 31 points32 points  (0 children)

GME is now priced at about 227 Canadian Dollars so technically pickle rick should be getting some butt action about now

[–]sweatysuits💍👑 One Stock to Rule Them All 👑💍 219 points220 points  (26 children)


We've got another one!

!remind me 7 hours

[–]sharkbaitlolShark ApΞ ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️🚀[M] 150 points151 points  (2 children)

Sigh* adds name to list

[–]jamesstrogg🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 34 points35 points  (11 children)

!remind me 7 hours

[–]Captain_Obe 43 points44 points  (9 children)

!Remind me every hour!

[–]GME10-Dz🦍Voted✅ 7 points8 points  (6 children)

!remind me 7 hours!

[–]charkrios🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 5 points6 points  (4 children)

!remindme 7 hours

[–]Captain_Obe 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Remind me every think he gets a reminder about reminding him.

[–]gte930d🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 58 points59 points  (9 children)

Please elaborate.

[–]Willberforcee🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I’m not sure what’s going down, but I sure do know what’s going up.

[–]Zestforblueskies 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahahahahaha, I love you guys so damn much..

[–]CoolHandLuke4Twanky💻 ComputerShared 🦍 83 points84 points  (0 children)


[–]Circaflex92🦍Voted✅ 77 points78 points  (1 child)

OP, you’re going to stick u/gherkinit up your bum?! Say it ain’t so!

[–]KingSam89🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She's gonna boof a pickle!?! Def gherkinit theme.

[–]Spaceman_Earthling🚀 Sniffs Rocket Fuel ⛽ 40 points41 points  (4 children)

Checked profile. Pretty sure we're gonna get to see this regardless boys and girls.

[–]Kk201830🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 54 points55 points  (35 children)

Any chance she just does it for 🦍 moral?

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 151 points152 points 2 (32 children)

I'm strongly considering it

[–]Pingryada🦍 Buckle Up 🚀 34 points35 points  (0 children)

You dropped this 👑

[–]gochuuuuHalf Ant Half Ape 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the way. Be our jeanne d’arc!

[–]MrReeds🦍Voted✅ 78 points79 points  (3 children)

you do not need an excuse to eat a salad

[–]Dreax182🦍Voted✅ 75 points76 points  (5 children)

We should make a r/superstonkgonewild at this point 😂

Edit : Oh shit it already exist😳

[–]BigGayCorp🏳️‍🌈 Homo Erect-Tits 🏳️‍🌈 104 points105 points  (20 children)

It better go in the back yard 👀

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 126 points127 points  (18 children)

You bet!

[–]HODLAMCforLife 94 points95 points  (14 children)

If it hits 250 today I’ll eat it after lol

[–]samdamazing🦍Voted✅ 57 points58 points  (1 child)

This guy

[–]me_like_stonkI wear my t-shirts inside out 31 points32 points  (0 children)

There's always that one guy

[–]P00CH00🦍Voted✅ 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Nice cover, saying "if it hits 250 today" to make people think you don't just want to eat her butt cucumber.

[–]HODLAMCforLife 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I was honestly expecting a reverse auction going on with people bidding lower and lower price targets

[–]435f43f534🦧Between 150% and 200% excited 5 points6 points  (1 child)

turns out you have a niche kink!

[–]daarthVapor🦍Voted✅ 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]Inevitable-Elk-4162💻 ComputerShared 🦍 82 points83 points  (10 children)

How the fuck are your nipples heart shaped?

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 88 points89 points  (7 children)

Tattoos my dude!

[–]Inevitable-Elk-4162💻 ComputerShared 🦍 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna do computershare purple circles around mine Lmayo

[–]Inevitable-Elk-4162💻 ComputerShared 🦍 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Fuck, I’m retarded haha

[–]ParkingLotRanger🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You're in good company.

[–]LeonCrimsonhart🦍Voted✅ 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Holy pain tolerance! I feel squimish thinking how much that must have hurt.

[–]Blunder_Punch🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 84 points85 points  (2 children)

Be honest. That cucumber was finding its way inside of you regardless of price action.

[–]DieselBusthe5th 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I'm gonna shove this eggplant inside my butt if volume reaches 12 today

[–]Shotgun_donCertified-Ruhtard 75 points76 points  (1 child)

This is my follow . I’ll be back at 4pm

[–]ShredManyGnar💎NFTease💎 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Somewhere, in a pile of glorious runes, red is experiencing FOMO

[–]Hoof_Hearted12Gorilla Warfare 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Looks like your ass is safe for today

[–]EphArrOhlet's go 🚀🚀🚀 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh your poor outbox.

[–]sandman11235The Unflaired 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’d rather see your DRS

[–]Imbayogamage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can u make this an everyday bet?

[–]RaphMs💻 ComputerShared 🦍 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Distraction…. DRS

[–]Im_The_Goddamn_Dumbo💻 ComputerShared 🦍 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lots of disappointed apes today 🤣

[–]BudgetTooth💻 ComputerShared 🦍 25 points26 points  (0 children)

cross or close above

[–]PHANTOM________💎DIAMOND DAKINE🤙 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Girls doing fruit/veggie stuff for price action was the catalyst all along?

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

It's not stupid if it works!

[–]Peachy-DMN-🦍Voted✅ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

On a serious note, please be careful where you intend on putting that. There have been more than a couple septic patients who achieved that state due to vegetables, fruits, or other objects with bacteria going where they don’t belong, particularly if there is any tearing.

[–]TheRealNikoBravo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Let's go $200!!!!!! u/Im_Not_F-ing_14 IS THE CATALYST!!!!!

[–]DroidArbiter💻 ComputerShared 🦍 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I'm gonna laugh when Kenny tries using this as his main defense. "They manipulated the stock your Honor, with vegetables and their bazoo's".

[–]Im_Not_F-ing_14💎🥒 Cucumber Girl 🥒💎[S] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I would die a happy woman. I'm imagining having yo testify under oath about why I put a cucumber up my butt on the internet and it's beautiful.

[–]DroidArbiter💻 ComputerShared 🦍 22 points23 points  (0 children)

"Ms. I'm Not Fucking 14, did you or did you not insert said cucumber to manipulate the stock price?"

"No, I did it because it looked lonely and I was bored."

"No further questions your Honor."

[–]JMGTRGME go BRAPPPPPPP SUTUTUTUTU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remember that post about staying hydrated ? Can someone link it for the thirsty as hell apes in here ?

[–]MaerranSWE APE 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Rip DMs

[–]KG89💻 ComputerShared 🦍 28 points29 points  (0 children)

RIP Inbox, Rehypothecation of messages

[–]byhicelow🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 11 points12 points  (0 children)

this sub went from Superstonk to Superthirst real quick

[–]iamwheat💲The Price is Wrong!💲 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Same time and place tomorrow?

[–]DahnhillaTA doesn't apply to a manipulated stock 31 points32 points  (9 children)

The fucking comments and awards on this.

Come on people, you're better than this.

[–]Equivalent-Piano-420🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I filter under best posts and this popped up at #1. Finally an algorithm that works

[–]ContWord2346🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 2 points3 points  (0 children)

GME gone wild?

[–]SheeeeeiiiiiNot a cat 🦍 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man use are some degenerates

[–]curious420s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can’t believe you would eat all of that

[–]CocoCrisp86 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s a trap!!

[–]Bombsoup💻 ComputerShared 🦍 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We tried Cucumber Girl, we tried.

[–]doitforthepizza🍦💩🪑 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Can people stop trying to turn Superstonk into their own personal OnlyFans? Nobody needs an excuse to shove a cuke up their ass or coot, just do it. Don't worry, even if no one knows it happened, or sees it happen, it still happened.

[–]jso85🦍Voted✅ 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Says the guy doing it for pizza

[–]doitforthepizza🍦💩🪑 7 points8 points  (0 children)

True, true

[–]pantzparteez🦍Voted✅ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well today was a letdown moreso than usual because of you 😂😂

[–]Twelvety 29 points30 points  (6 children)

This attention seeking shit is really starting to grind my gears.

[–]KayakTime-11 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I wish hedgies and apes would put our differences aside and get this price to $201 just for one day before returning to the trenches.

[–]sayzey🎮 Power to the Players 🛑 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Like the Christmas truce in World War 1 in 1914

[–]KayakTime-11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I was thinking.

[–]Senor_Dobalina🍇🦍GrapeApe🦍🍇 (Voted✔) 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Enough with this. This isn’t a porn site.

[–]TheWhyteMaN 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Wtf guys y’all that thirsty that we forgot our core principles?

We don’t Doxx ourselves or our friends and family.

You put yourself at risk showing your face.

Fucking simps.